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Family Matters

For a scientist a family is a group of people, relatated to each other, who fulfill certain economic, social and cultural functions. For me it is the only place in the universe where I can always find peace, understanding and support, where I don’t have to conceal my thoughts, where my failures aren’t laughed at. Family is a symbol of tolerance and sincerity, free of cruel pragmatic relations, typical for our daily routine. Family is a unique social institute, which dates back to the dawn of civilized society. It has changed dramatically during all these centuries, but the core features remain the same. For most people it is a sacred union, giving birth to children and bringing them up. Within a family we get acquainted with a mother tongue and the outer world, we learn basic rules of social interaction and develop our own principles and world outlook. Through a family we become a part of our nation, share its heritage: culture, customs, even holidays.

Unfortunately, the global tendencies are not so bright and picturesque. The meaning of a family is constantly shrinking, which is quite obvious. Many young men and women stay single or change partners often, avoiding long-term relations. Divorce, which was a shameful act for spouses a hundred years ago, is considered to be absolutely ordinary nowadays! Such instability finds its display in family problems. I will speak on them a bit later.

And now let’s get down to work! Both happy and not so happy families begin with the same thing, this is surely love, passion to be exact. Passion cannot last long, and if it doesn’t transform into love, the family is doomed to collapse. But the first period looks charming: movie dates and romantic meetings, nice presents and exquisite compliments. Courtship may last many years and usually ends with a proposal, followed by a wedding. A colorful ceremony begins a new stage of relationships: friends become mates, which implies new rights and new duties! The further development of relationships is unpredictable: a couple may reach marital bliss or part during their honey-moon. Choosing a partner is a complicated task, and mistake is always possible.

However, many people get marriage certificates but do not get love. Marriages of convenience have become a mark of the modern world, indicating the triumph of market, where you can buy whatever you desire. I think this question should be discussed in the topic”Money matters”, as such” unions” are nothing but poor shadows of real families. Still, I know the prices for premises in Minsk. Exchanging rings for getting a cheap loan is a fair bargain…

In such cases it is better part without doing harm to each other. Americans, who are experts in financial affairs, have developed a solution. I mean the prenuptial agreement, helping spouses to divide their assets. Well, considering that about 50% of American families part, signing such a contract doesn’t seem a mad idea, although it entirely kills the romantic spirit within a family. Such unions cannot be called ideal. But is there one we can name perfect? Once I read an American story called “The perfect match”. It tells us a story of a man, who turns to an agency specializing in finding partners. They do their job well, and find a suitable woman, who has the same interests, listens to the same music and reads the same books. They like each other; they marry…The story ends with their divorce. The last phrase was:”I cannot stand it anymore!” The conclusion is obvious: perfect match is impossible; we should be ready to accept our partner’s faults as all of us are far from perfection, especially children.

Yes, children, the main source of cries and tears in a family. Today parents are unable to draw much attention to their upbringing as they spend too much time outside the home earning money. In the past women would stay at home and look after children. Nowadays most of them are employed, and their children are educated in the yard, that causes misunderstanding and misbehaving. Some people are too strict with their children, which results in escapes from home, the others are too permissive. Such behavior leads to juvenile delinquency. The dividing line between these two manners of upbringing is very faint, but there lies the optimal solution.

Other well-known problems may result from divorce, re-marriage or adopting children. They occur often, but not as typical as the generation gap. It is described by all well-known writers and considered to be an eternal problem.

World is changing, and the younger generation is likely to accept these changes, both positive and negative. Their parents usually neglect such tendencies, contradicting to their life experience, and accuse the behavior of their offsprings, which is influenced by contemporary standards. I suppose we should defend our ideas, but respect our parents’ opinion at the same time. They love us and they won’t do us harm.

To summarize, I want to say that love and mutual respect are great powers helping a family to overcome difficulties. Live in harmony with your relatives – and you will never feel alone in this huge world.

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