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Books on Happiness / The Definitive Book Of Body Language- 2 students

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Courtship Displays and Attraction Signals

The 13 Most Common Female Courtship

Gestures and Signals

Women use most of the same basic preening gestures as men, including touching the hair, smoothing the clothing, one or both hands on hips, foot and body pointing towards the man, extended intimate gaze and increasing eye contact. Some women will also adopt the thumbs-in-belt gesture, which, although it's a male assertion gesture, is used more subtly: usually only one thumb is tucked into a belt or protrudes from a handbag or pocket.

Something in the way she moves

Attracts me like no other lover;

Something in the way she woos me...

George Harrison

Women become more sexually active in the middle of their menstrual cycle, when they are most likely to conceive. It's during this time that they are more likely to wear shorter dresses and higher heels, to walk, talk, dance and act more provocatively and to use the signals we are about to discuss. What follows is a list of the 13 most common courtship gestures and signals used by women everywhere to show a man that she could be available.

1.The Head Toss and Hair Flick

This is usually the first display a woman will use when she's around a man she fancies. The head is flicked back to toss the hair over the shoulders or away from the face. Even women with short hair will use this gesture. It's a way for a woman subtly to show that she cares about how she looks to a man. This also lets her expose her armpit, which allows the 'sex perfume' known as pheromone to waft across to the target man.

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Preening the hair and letting pheromones in the armpit work their magic

2.Wet Lips and Pouting, Mouth Slightly Open

At puberty, a boy's facial bone structure alters dramatically as testosterone gives him a stronger, protruding jaw-line, larger nose and more pronounced forehead - all the essentials for protection to the face during encounters with animals or enemies. Girls' bone structure remains largely unchanged and child-like with more subcutaneous fat, which makes the female adolescent face appear thicker and fuller, particularly the lips. Larger, thicker lips therefore become a signal of femaleness because of their contrast in size to male lips. Some women have collagen injected into their lips to overstate this sexual difference and thereby make themselves more appealing

to men. Pouting simply increases the lip display.

A woman's outer genital lips are proportionately the same thickness to her facial lips. Desmond Morris describes this as 'self-mimi- cry', as it is intended to symbolise the female genital region. The lips can be made

Sex sirens instinctively know how to use mouth and lip displays to get attention

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to appear wet either by the use of saliva or cosmetics, giving a woman the appearance of sexual invitation.

When a woman becomes sexually aroused her lips, breasts and genitals become larger and redder as they fill with blood. The use of lipstick is an Egyptian invention that is four thousand years old and is intended to mimic facially the reddened genitals of the sexually aroused female. This explains why, in experiments using photos of women wearing various lipstick colours, men consistently find the bright reds the most attractive and sensual.

3. Self-Touching

As stated earlier, our minds get our bodies to act out our secret desires — and so it is with Self-Touching. Women have dramatically more nerve sensors for experiencing touch than men, making them more sensitive to touch sensations. When a woman slowly and sensually strokes her thigh, neck or throat it infers that, if a man plays his cards right, he may be able to touch her in these same ways. At the same time, her self-touch lets her imagine what it might feel like if the man was initiating the touch.

Most pictures of women in sensual poses include plenty of Self-Touching

4.The Limp Wrist

Walking or sitting while holding a Limp Wrist is a submission signal used exclusively by women and gay men. In a similar way, a bird feigns a damaged wing to distract prey away from its

Birds will feign an injured wing to get attention; women use a Limp Wrist

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Exposing the soft under side of the wrists is a powerful attraction signal

The Definitive Book of Body Language

nest. In other words, it's a great attention getter. It's very attractive to men because it makes them feel as if they can dominate. In business situations, however, a Limp Wrist seriously detracts from a woman's credibility and others will fail to take her seriously, although some men will probably ask her for a date.

The stem of the wine glass suggesting things that may yet come

5. Fondling a Cylindrical Object

Fondling cigarettes, a finger, the stem of a wine glass, a dangling earring or any phallic-shaped object is an unconscious indication of what may be in the mind. Taking a ring off and on the finger can also be a mental representation of having sex. When a woman does these things, a man is likely to symbolically try to possess her by fondling her cigarette lighter, car keys or any personal item she has nearby.

6. Exposed Wrists

An interested woman will gradually expose the smooth, soft underside skin of her wrists to the potential male partner and will increase the rate she flashes her wrists as her interest grows. The wrist area has long been considered one of the highly erotic areas of the female body because it is one of the

more delicate skin areas; it's uncertain whether this is a learned behaviour or is innate but it certainly operates on an unconscious level. The palms are also usually made visible to the man while she's speaking. Women who smoke cigarettes find this wrist/palm exposure simple to do while smoking by simply holding the palm up beside the shoulder. The Exposed Wrist and head toss gestures are often mimicked by homosexual males who want to take on a feminine appearance.

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Women put perfume on the underside of the wrist believing it has something to do with the wrist pulse distributing the perfume. But its real purpose is to thrust the wrist forward towards a potential partner. The perfume simply draws attention to the woman and lets the man see her under-wrists.

7. Sideways Glance Over Raised Shoulder

The Raised Shoulder is self-mimicry of the rounded female breasts. With partially drooped eyelids, the woman holds the man's gaze just long enough for him to notice, then she quickly looks away. This action produces the feeling of peeping in the woman who does it and being peeped at by the man who receives it.

Raising the shoulder highlights the femaleness of roundness and curves

8. Rolling Hips

For childbearing reasons, women have wider hips than men and have a wider crotch gap between the legs. This means that when a woman walks she has an accentuated roll which highlights her pelvic region. Men can't walk like this, so it becomes a powerful sex difference signal. It also explains why few women are good runners because their wider hips make their legs splay out to the side when they run. Rolling of the hips is one of the subtle female courtship gestures that has been used for centuries in advertising to sell goods and services. Women who see these advertisements have the desire to be like the model depicted, which results in an increased awareness of the product being promoted.

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Wiggling when you walk highlights the differences between men and women

9.The Pelvic Tilt

Medical evidence shows that a woman in excellent health and most capable of successfully bearing children has a waist-to- hips ratio of 70%, that is, her waist is 70% the size of her hips. This gives her what's known as an hourglass figure. Throughout recorded history this is the body ratio that has proved the most dramatic male attention-grabber. Men begin to lose interest when the ratio exceeds 80% and, for most men, the greater or lesser the ratio the less attentive he will be. He completely loses interest when her ratio reaches 100% but still maintains a level of interest even when it drops below 70%, but 70% still remains the perfect ratio for reproductive success. The way a woman highlights this ratio is simple - she simply tilts her pelvis when she stands.

Tilting the pelvis while standing highlights a woman's ability to bear children successfully.

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professor Devendra Singh, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Texas, studied the physical attractiveness of Miss America beauty contestants and Playboy centrefolds over a period of 50 years and found that the hips-to-waist ratio that holds the greatest appeal for men is between 67% and 80%.

Professor Singh conducted a test using images of women who were underweight, overweight and of average weight and showed them to groups of men who were asked to rate them in terms of their attractiveness. Women of average weight with a hips-to-waist ratio of around 70% were found to be the most alluring. In the overweight and underweight groups,

Kylie Minogue with a cocktail of the things all men love — long hair, neck display, 70% hips-to-waist ratio, open wet mouth, pouting, drooping eyelids, protruding breasts and rounded buttocks, self-touch- ing and Hand-on-Hip gestures

the women with the narrowest

waist got the vote. The experiment's remarkable finding was that men gave the 70% hips-to-waist ratio the highest rating even when the woman's weight was quite heavy. This means a woman can be physically larger but will still turn male heads if she has this ratio.

10. Handbag in Close Proximity

Most men have never seen the contents of a woman's handbag and studies show that most men are afraid even to touch her handbag, let alone open it. A woman's handbag is a personal item that's treated by her almost as if it's an extension of her body and so it becomes a strong signal of intimacy when she puts it close to a man. If she finds him particularly attractive, she may slowly fondle and caress her handbag. She can ask him to pass the handbag or to even retrieve something from it.

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Placing the handbag near him so he can see it or touch it is a strong signal she's interested; keeping it away from him indicates emotional distance.

Placing her handbag close to a man is a sign of acceptance

11.The Knee Point

One leg is tucked under the other and points to the person she finds the most interesting. This is a relaxed position, which also takes the formality out of a conversation and gives the opportunity for a fleeting exposure of the thighs.

Pointing her knee at

the most interesting person

l2.The Shoe Fondle

Dangling the shoe on the end of the foot also indicates a relaxed attitude and has the phallic effect of thrusting the foot in and out of the shoe. This action unsettles many men without them knowing what is happening.

The shoe gives a clue

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The Leg-Twine: men's number one female sitting position

13.The Leg Twine

Most men agree that the Leg Twine is the most appealing sitting position a woman can take. It's a gesture that women consciously use to draw attention to their legs. Albert Scheflen states that one leg is pressed firmly against the other to give the appearance of high muscle tone, which, as previously mentioned, is a condition that the body takes when a person is ready for sexual performance.

Other leg signals used by women include crossing and uncrossing the legs slowly in front of the man and gently stroking the thighs with her hand, indicating a desire to be touched.

Without referring back to what you have just read, how many courting signals and gestures can you see?

What Men Look At in Women's Bodies

In Why Men Lie & Women Cry (Pease) we summarised the research about which body parts men and women look at on each other. The research was clear — men's brains are wired to be attracted to women who show the most healthy reproductive ability and sexual availability. When it comes to body shape, both men and women prefer someone with an athletic

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body shape. To men, this signals high levels of health and a woman's ability to successfully reproduce his genes.

Evidence shows that men are more attracted to women with a child-like face - large eyes, small noses, full lips and cheeks

— because these signals evoke paternal, protective feelings in most men. This is why most advertising for cosmetic surgery places so much emphasis on these features. Women, conversely, prefer men with adult faces that show the ability to defend - strong jaws, larger brows and strong nose.

Women with child-like faces cause the release of hormones in men that make them want to protect females.

The good news is that a woman doesn't need to be naturally beautiful to attract a man - beauty certainly gives her an initial edge over competitors - she mainly needs to be able to display the signs that she could be available. This is why some women who are not particularly physically attractive always seem to have plenty of suitors. Overall, a man is more attracted to a woman by the signs of her availability than by her physical attractiveness, and you can learn and practise availability signals. Some women are appalled at the idea of modern men being initially attracted to a woman based on her appearance and availability instead of wanting her for her ability to nurture, communicate, be a domestic goddess or play the piano. They see discussions on this subject as degrading to modern women.

But almost every study into attraction conducted over the last 60 years reached the same conclusions as the painters, poets and writers over the past 6000 years - a woman's appearance and body and what she can do with it is more attractive to men than her intelligence or assets, even in the politically correct twenty-first century. The twenty-first-century man wants the same immediate things in a woman as his forefathers did at first sight, but, as we said in Why Men Lie & Women Cry, he has different criteria for a long-term partner.

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