2. Amusement taken from looking at the naked torso of an aging gent

who has had bicep implants, but still has a slightly sagging chest.

Example: Bert: Hey, let's go to the beach. I reckon we could make it there in less than twenty minutes.

Ernie: Don't forget to add on an hour for the hasselfactor of

finding a parking space in amongst those fancy sports cars,

artfully aged veedub busses, and big red lifesaver trucks.

@Hasselhoff:= To hold in one's stomach when shirtless to appear less fat than you actually are, just as

David Hasselhoff does on _Baywatch_.

Example: Look at that guy, trying to look in good shape but he's just Hasselhoffing. OR

Look at the Hasselhoff on that guy.

@Hastert:= A woman who has so much pent up rage, anger, and sexual frustration she goes into denial about her life.

Example: Ryan: You know Katie?

Eric: Yeah, she's a total Hastert. One day she says she loves me, the next day she says, I never said that! Shut up, idiot!

@hat hair:= What your hair looks like when you take off your hat.

Example: Hey, you got hat hair.

@hatchin' jacket:= Maternity dress.

Example: That's a great hatchin' jacket for your second trimester.

@hate trait:= This word means that you hate sombody, basically.

Example: Kerem: Want me to tell Liz that you don't wanna go out with her any more ?

Sam: Yeah, tell her bout my hate trait.

@Hater:= One who dislikes the actions and/or beliefs of another.

Example: Don't be a hater.

@hathos:= the taking of pleasure or joy in despising something.

Example: That Styx concert footage was pure hathos.

@hatt:= Extremely good looking.

Example: That chick was bloody hatt.

@hattifnat:= If you don't know the name for something, just call it a hattifnat.

Shouting hattifnat really makes people angry, so you can use it to annoy them.

Example: Don't lie to me, you hattifnat! OR I saw this strange animal, but I don't know what it was. Probably a hattifnat.

@haut-kitsch:= Noun/ Things perceived as high-class & glamorous by the less-educated & less refined elements of society.

haut (Fr., high)+ kitsch (Ger., trash).

Example: Designer jeans are an '80s

example of haut-kitsch.

@Have an apple.:= Related to the saying, An apple a day keeps the doctor away. This is said to sick people. So in saying Have an apple you are wishing that they recover soon.

Example: (John is sick in hospital. Bob enters.) Bob: How are ya? John: Bob, I'm in the hospital. I'm sick!

Bob: Have an apple!

@have guts:= To be fired from a job.

Example: I screwed up so many orders that my boss told me I've got guts.

@have one on you:= to be extremely annoyed and generally react badly to a situation

Example: ooh sag aloo, have you got one on you ?

@havked:= When you think you're being hacked, but you really aren't, you must exclaim that you were havked.

Example: Chani read through her server logs and exclaimed, I'm being havked! Really, she just wasn't smart enough to understand that the server was overloaded by an image request.

@hawking:= (v) Driving slowly up and down, sometimes waiting at the start of a long aisle till someone pulls out

and you can take their parking spot. Also, following a person to his car in your car to take that spot.

Example: That guy that was hawking took my spot when I left.

@Hawks:= Hockey players

Example: Jen only dates Hawks.

@hawt:= Hot, attractive. Used by stupid girls on the Internet in order to look cute. Gains additional Stupid Points for being

longer than hot, thus requiring extra effort to look moronic. (See seckzi and ur.)

Example: ur liek so hawt, omg, ur liek totaly seckzi!

@haxor:= Hacker. Still pronounced hacker. The xor ending can be applied to different types of words. Interjections (Wowxor!), verbs (I roxored (rocked) that ____), and nouns (I was hanging out with Tomxor.). Mostly used online but people may say x-orto signify the spelling in speech.

Example: Justin is the coolest haxor I know.

@Hazaa:= Used in place of any exclamation of great joy

Example: my girlfriend's not pregnant! hazaa!

@hazaar:= Many, more than can be counted on the fingers of one hand. From the Hindi for 'thousand'

Example: All of a sudden hazaar people came running up and wanted icecream too.

@hazah:= Used in an exciting tone when something good happens.

Example: Hazah! I just won the lottery!

@Hazen:= Sweet and loving.

Example: My girlfriend is hazen.

@he-hooters:= Large male breasts, resembling those of a woman. Also known as man-boobs.

Example: He has a huge set of he-hooters.

@Head-lock:= When someone or something is so boring or vacuous, your brain almost stops working.

Example: After listening to Tina tell him about her haircut for ten minutes, Brian felt head-locked.

@head wrecker:= Somebody who has a penchant for annoying people

Example: She's a bit of a head wrecker!

@Headband Head:= Crease one gets in her hair after wearing earphones.

Example: That guy has a case of headband head.

@headbanger:= a person who listens to heavy metal music. Word is derived from the head swinging motion that heavy metal fans do when enjoying music.

Example: The auditorium was filled with headbangers listening to their favorite heavy metal band.

@Headcheese:= A French-Canadian. French-Canada is popular for making cheese from the brains of goats. Hence, headcheese. {This looks like it might be an insult, but your editor doesn't recognize it as such.)

Example: That Headcheese is looking mighty fine.

@headknockphoria:= The warm, fuzzy, and curiously satisfying feeling that follows

a sudden inexplainable muscle spasm in the back of your head.

Example: Sweet Lord, I don't know why it happens, but don't let this headknockphoria fade too soon.

@Headmeat:= Refers to the brain of a person who does or says something foolish.

Example: (In the event that someone burned their hand on the stove) Good job! That's using the ol' headmeat.

@Health and safety meeting:= Smoke break, returning smoker to a calm,

rational, happy person thus ensuring health and safety

for co-workers and others sharing space with the smoker

Example: I think it's time we went for a health and safety meeting.

@heart:= When you can't draw a heart on a piece of paper use the word heart instead.

Example: I heart that movie--it's my favorite.

@heartful:= Artful and heart put together. As in a piece of work that has a lot of heart. Or a person who has a lot of heart and is very artful about it.

Example: Krista's new word is quite heartful.

@heartillage:= to seek pity or preferential treatment because of something that emotionally effects you.

Example: Jeff threw a heartillage and got some time off cause his grandmother died.

@heat (adj.):= something risky and obvious that could get you in trouble

Example: Smoking pot in front of the cop shop is heat.

@heat:= A derogatory term used when something has gone terribly wrong.

Example: Did you know she dumped Chris? That's so heat!

@heatbag:= Someone who deliberately causes trouble--verbal pain, make fun of.

Example: That guy you were with at the party last night is a real heatbag.

@heater:= Gun.

Example: When the cops tried to arrest her, she showed them her heater.

@Heather:= A popular, controlling person. Inspired by the movie _Heathers_.

Example: The head cheerleader of our high school is a Heather

@heatscore (noun):= Someone who is heat. Someone who is possibly attracting attention from an authority figure

Example: You are a heatscore.

@heavenish:= (adj) Absolutely fabulous. Heavenly.

Example: My wife is beautiful. She has a heavenish face.

@Heavens to Murgatroid:= From the old Snagglepuss cartoon. Nobody knows what a Murgatroid is exactly, but use is simmilar to Heavens to Betsy, or Great Ceasars ghost.

Example: Heavens to Murgatroid, I can't believe you want to watch Dawson's Creek tonight. That's it ... exit, stage left!

@heavy metal sport:= Any sport being played while intoxicated and with the wrong equipment.

Example: Two more pints and heavy metal soccer begins.

@heavy:= Adjective, used when you consider the subject to be good. Synonymous with cool.

Example: That music is heavy.

@Heazy:= A great way of life that may include large amounts of money.

Example: You won the lottery? You're in the heazy now, bro!

@hebb:= a wipe out or going over the handle bars while mountain biking

Example: There was this kid who had a total hebb on the trail today.

@heck-meckalectic:= Beyond beautiful and captivating.

Example: Jennifer Lopez looked heck-mecalectic in that dress she wore to the awards show.

@Heck:= Spelled with initial capital letter. A milder version of Hell (Hell Light)--which usually isn't spelled with an initial capital letter. Its characteristics are lack of intense heat, no pits of boiling oil, no imps with pitchforks, etc. In fact, its climate is much like the Southeastern U.S. in the summertime, and Satan is a polite Southern gentleman with silver hair. Punishment is so mild here that it's more like a boring vacation.

Example: Bily Joe, stop trying to see up my skirt--or you'll go to Heck when you die.

@heckabetta:= A great improvement.

Example: Real butter is heckabetta than that margarine stuff.

@heckdarndangit:= Alternative to cursing. Useful around children.

Example: Owww! I just dropped the heckdarndangit sledgehammer on my foot!

@hecticity:= An overabundance of hustle, too much drama or unecessary action.

Example: When I am out ripping and running, I know that eventually the hecticity

of being out and about will catch up to me.

@hedgemeer:= A situation that turned sour without foresight to the problem.

Example: The party was great until the beer ran out, what a hedgemeer.

@hedgetation:= To hedge and to hesitate simultaneously.

Example: His investment policies are formed with much hedgetation.

@hedon:= International unit of measurement for fun, on a scale of 1 to 100.

Example: Wow, my funometer says this party is cranking at 87 hedons.

@Heebatow:= Similar to shushing. A nice, confusing way of telling someone to be quiet.

Example: In response to someone talking too much. Excuse me, would you please heebatow.

@heeble:= Any grody thing growing on your skin or found under your bed that you can't explain.

Example: I thought she was a good housekeeper, but then her dog pulled a giant heeble out from under the couch.

@heeelarious:= Sarcastic way to say someone is funny--when they're not. Also hehelarious.

Example: The more times you tell that joke, the more heeelarious it gets. (Follow by rolling your eyes for effect.)

@Heek:= A belly button piercing.

Example: Did you see her heek?

She was beheeken.

@heffler:= a shallow bond between two otherwise strangers based on a stupid inside joke or one-time expereince.

Example: quick, hide, if that heffler sees me he's going to tell the joke about the time we were at a party and the dog died. that's all we have in common.

@heh:= Expression of wry amusement.

Example: Look, Chris peed his pants. Heh.

@Heifetz:= To screw up something easy, often repeatedly. [Given that Jascha Heifetz was a great violinist, particularly noted for his technical prowess, and that his daughter Josefa Heifetz Byrne (married to moderately prolific fiction and non-fiction author and billiards enthusisast Robert Byrne) is the author of _Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary..., the etymology of this word should prove interesting. For some wonderfully unusual not-made-up words, check out her book. Husband Robert was the editor.]

Example: Bill keeps forgetting what side of his car the gas goes into. What a Heifetz.

@Heinleiner:= One who follows the teachings of the author Robert A. Heinlein.

First seen in the book _Steel Beach_ by John Varley.

Example: A. Do you believe in gun control laws?

B. No way--I'm a Heinleiner! An armed society, is a polite society!

@heisman:= Giving someone the Heisman stiff-armed pose.

Example: I asked her to dance, but she gave me the Heisman.

@hejob:= To destroy.

Example: He wants to hejob that toy.

@heke:= (n) A word made up for use in a game.

(v) Tto make up such a word.

Example: I challenge. That's not a word; that's a heke

@hektic:= Good or exellent.

Example: Her old green Pontiac was one hectic car.

@hela:= A word to add on to other words.

Example: You guys are so hela-stupid.

@Helium Heaven:= The magical place that balloons go to after they fly away or deflate.

Example: At the rock concert, they released dozens of balloons and they all went to helium heaven.

@hella tight:= Northern California--contemporary way of indicating something is hip or cool.

Texas--phrase uttered by Northern Californians to describe the noose Texan's place around their necks for inventing and overusing dumb words.

Example: NC: This noose is hella tight.

Texan: Yeah, pretty cool isn't it?

@hella:= Used to emphasize a phrase or description. Northern Californians only.

Example: Lets go to John's house, he has hella food.

@hella:= Very. Use instead of wicked.

Example: That's hella cool.

@hellacious:= Badass, wicked.

Example: That was a hellacious explosion.

@hellacool:= (adj) Beyond cool. The pinnacle of coolness.

Example: The ICP are hellacool tonight, bro! They are rockin' the house!

@hellenhimershisturtle:= Synonym for what.

Example: What the hellenhimershisturtle?

@hellodoggywoofything:= A way of covering up an insult when you are feeling particularly cross

Example: Oh, you are such a hellodoggywoofything.

@Helloha:= A greeting in Hawaiian-english language.

Example: Helloha! How are you today?

@helloo:= What's happening? Best said with an upperclass British accent.

Example: Why, helloo! Why aren't you at work?

@hellooo:= HellOOo. Are you crazy? Are your lights on? Does your elevator go all the way to the top? Are you stupid or what? Certainly no claim for originality on this one--and intonation is everything. Even four-year-olds know how to use this one--at least Alec does. I gave him a No Whining button Memorial Weekend. Shortly after getting it, he came to me a bit concerned, But, Opa, I might get hurt really bad and need to cry. I reassured him that would be all right.

Example: Thursday following Memorial Day, Alec was getting more than a tad fussy in the early evening. I reminded him, Alec, remember, no whining. His response, HellOOo...I'm not wearing the button.

@helluva:= Something Mr. T says.

Example: That car is helluva fast.

@Help m'Boab!:= Scots expression of surprise or alarm. Pronounced help m'bobe.

Example: Help m'boab, it's the truant officer!

@Hemogeny:= Sphere of influence

Example: Althouh China has a physically greater land mass, the US's Hemogeny surpasses even massive china's, extending through the globe.

@Hemperbenitat:= Hippopatamus.

Example: She was as fat as a hemperbenitat.

@hengrenade:= Alternatively known as a chickenbomb, a hengrenade is basically a hen with a metal pin on the side.

The pin is a cylindrical shape with a hole cut on one end, for which a metal ring can be passed through so one may pull the pin with her finger. To use, simply pull the pin and throw the hen a safe distance away.

Example: Bob pulled a hengrenade out of his pocket and told us how it was effective in confusing the enemy.

@hentai:= Japanese word for someone or something perverted. Also used for pornographic or adult anime or manga (comics).

Example: Chris got caught last night looking at hentai. His mother grounded him for two weeks.

@hep:= A 50s or earlier term meaning I am understanding. Can also be like the modern term cool

Example: Do you understand? Yeh, I am hep to that. Jim is a real hep cat.

@hepya, hep'ya:= Short for help you

Example: Can I hepya with your coat?

@her [her instead of they]:= A word to replace their and them and they in grammatically incorrect sentences. | http://www.bartleby.com/64/5.html | http://owlcroft.com/english/they.html

Example: Dorkasaurus: Someone who is so intensely dorky, the word 'dork' alone will not do them justice. Them was used in the preceding sentence to be politically correct, but is not grammatically correct. Someone is singular and them is plural. A singular antecedent calls for a singular pronoun, so we have an error. Fifty years ago, him was the accepted English usage when a singular pronoun referred to a gender-neutral antecedent. In the first sentence of this paragraph, him would have been used instead of or them. However, him is now viewed as politically incorrect. What we need is a new accepted (correct for the prescriptivists, standard for the descriptivists) English usage. My modest proposal: use her instead of him for such a situation. Her maintains conventional English pronoun-antecedent agreement and, at the same time, avoids the political incorrectness of him. Thus, Dorkasaurus: Someone who is so intensely dorky, the word 'dork' alone will not do her justice. Nota bene: It is especially important that this new standard be used for negative examples.

Some may object that the antecedent someone is gender-neutral, while the pronoun her is not. NOW, I maintain that her is still politically correct, a slight discrepancy in gender agreement notwithstanding. Using the masculine form has been avoided--that's the main objective of political correctness, is it not?

@her:= Here.

Example: Hey, you! Come her!

@herb:= The h is not silent. Hip synonym for dork or nerd.

Example: Did you see that guy in the Hootie shirt? What a herb.

@herbal tea smoker:= An older, bad influence.

Example: You should stop hangin' out with that herbal tea smoker.

@Herbomb:= Being overtly politically correct in writing by using both genders, back and forth, in a way that distracts the reader from the subject and losing continuity.

Example: The author intentionally dropped a herbomb underlining her activist agenda.

@Herdsurfer:= N. A person caught in the huge lines waiting to utilize attractions or services rendered by theme parks or governmental institutions, such that he or she feels like a herd animal. V. Waiting in such a line.

Example: I'm tired of this endless herdsurfing! cried Jenny.

@hermatory:= a private space for contemplation, reading, etc.

Example: I'm going to my hermatory for a little while.

@hermitate:= The desire to be left alone to meditate.

Example: Naw. I don't want to go out tonight. I'm going to hermitate

@hermitude:= Being alone or remote from society, sought especially when one is weary of company.

Example: I'm cranky and would prefer to be left to my hermitude.

@hesh:= To replace he or she or he/she.

Example: ... when hesh is chosen then ....

@heteroflexible:= Someone who is primarily heterosexual but may engage in some homosexual acts.

Not a synonym for bisexual.

Example: I_monk dates women almost exclusively, but he's been known to be heteroflexible from time to time.

@hevun:= Your own version of heaven.

Example: My hevun is like KFC--you can have a leg or a breast whenever you want.

@hexardy:= The amount of tardies in school it takes before the administration makes you eat lunch in the office.

Example: I finally hit hexardy with six tardies.

@hey pete:= A greeting alternative to hello, hi, or the plain hey.