I heard the double meaning in his words.

“I have.”

“Let’s get it done, then.”

Doc was already gone-already with Jeb, as we hadn’t passed him on the way. He must have left right behind me. I wondered how his news was being taken. I hoped they weren’t stupid enough to discuss it in front of the Seeker. Would she shred her human host’s brain if she guessed what I was doing? Would she assume I’d turned traitor entirely? That I would give the humans what they needed with no restrictions?

Wasn’t that what I was about to do, though? When I was gone, would Doc bother to keep his word?

Yes, he would try. I believed that. I had to believe that. But he couldn’t do it alone. And who would help him?

We scrambled up the tight black vent that opened onto the southern face of the rocky hill, about halfway up the low peak. The eastern edge of the horizon was turning gray, with just a hint of pink bleeding into the line between sky and rock.

My eyes were locked on my feet as I climbed down. It was necessary; there was no path, and the loose rocks made for treacherous footing. But even if the way had been paved and smooth, I doubted I would have been able to lift my eyes. My shoulders, too, seemed trapped in a slump.

Traitor. Not a misfit, not a wanderer. Just a traitor. I was putting my gentle brothers’ and sisters’ lives into the angry and motivated hands of my adopted human family.

My humans had every right to hate the souls. This was a war, and I was giving them a weapon. A way to kill with impunity.

I considered this as we ran through the desert in the growing light of dawn-ran because, with the Seekers looking, we shouldn’t be out in the daylight.

Focusing on this angle-viewing my choice not as a sacrifice but rather as arming the humans in exchange for the Seeker’s life-I knew that it was wrong. And if I was trying to save only the Seeker, this would be the moment when I would change my mind and turn around. She wasn’t worth selling out the others. Even she would agree with that.

Or would she? I suddenly wondered. The Seeker didn’t seem to be as… what was the word Jared had used? Altruistic. As altruistic as the rest of us. Maybe she would count her own life dearer than the lives of many.

But it was too late to change my mind. I’d already thought far beyond just saving the Seeker. For one thing, this would happen again. The humans would kill any souls they came across unless I gave them another option. More than that, I was going to save Melanie, and that was worth the sacrifice. I was going to save Jared and Jamie, too. Might as well save the repugnant Seeker while I was at it.

The souls were wrong to be here. My humans deserved their world. I could not give it back to them, but I could give them this. If only I could be sure that they would not be cruel.

I would just have to trust Doc, and hope.

And maybe wring the promise from a few more of my friends, just in case.

I wondered how many human lives I would save. How many souls’ lives I might save. The only one I couldn’t save now was myself.

I sighed heavily. Even over the sound of our exerted breathing, Jared heard that. In my peripheral vision, I saw his face turn, felt his eyes boring into me, but I did not look over to meet his gaze. I stared at the ground.

We got to the jeep’s hiding place before the sun had climbed over the eastern peaks, though the sky was already light blue. We ducked into the shallow cave just as the first rays painted the desert sand gold.

Jared grabbed two bottles of water out of the backseat, tossed one to me, and then lounged against the wall. He gulped down half a bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before he spoke.

“I could tell you were in a hurry to get out of there, but we need to wait until dark if you’re planning a smash and grab.”

I swallowed my mouthful of water. “That’s fine. I’m sure they’ll wait for us now.”

His eyes searched my face.

“I saw your Seeker,” he told me, watching my reaction. “She’s… energetic.”

I nodded. “And vocal.”

He smiled and rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t seem to enjoy the accommodations we provided.”

My gaze dropped to the floor. “Could be worse,” I mumbled. The strangely jealous hurt I’d been feeling leaked, uninvited, into my voice.

“That’s true,” he agreed, his voice subdued.

“Why are they so kind to her?” I whispered. “She killed Wes.”

“Well, that’s your fault.”

I stared up at him, surprised to see the slight curve of his mouth; he was teasing me.

“Mine?”

His small smile wavered. “They didn’t want to feel like monsters. Not again. They’re trying to make up for before, only a little too late-and with the wrong soul. I didn’t realize that would… hurt your feelings. I would have thought you’d like it better that way.”

“I do.” I didn’t want them to hurt anyone. “It’s always better to be kind. I just…” I took a deep breath. “I’m glad I know why.”

Their kindess was for me, not for her. My shoulders felt lighter.

“It’s not a good feeling-knowing that you profoundly deserve the title of monster. It’s better to be kind than to feel guilty.” He smiled again and then yawned. That made me yawn.

“Long night,” he commented. “And we’ve got another one coming. We should sleep.”

I was glad for his suggestion. I knew he had many questions about exactly what this raid meant. I also knew he would have already put several things together. And I didn’t want to discuss any of it.

I stretched out on the smooth patch of sand beside the jeep. To my shock, Jared came to lie beside me, right beside me. He curled around the curve of my back.

“Here,” he said, and he reached around to slide his fingers under my face. He pulled my head up from the ground and then moved his arm under it, making a pillow for me. He let his other arm drape over my waist.

It took a few seconds before I was able to respond. “Thanks.”

He yawned. I felt his breath warm the back of my neck. “Get some rest, Wanda.”

Holding me in what could only be considered an embrace, Jared fell asleep quickly, as he had always been able to do. I tried to relax with his arm warm around me, but it took a long time.

This embrace made me wonder how much he had already guessed.

My weary thoughts tangled and twisted. Jared was right-it had been a very long night. Though not half long enough. The rest of my days and nights were going to fly by as if they were only minutes.

The next thing I knew, Jared was shaking me awake. The light in the little cavern was dim and orangey. Sunset.

Jared pulled me to my feet and handed me a hiker’s meal bar-this was the kind of rations they kept with the jeep. We ate, and drank the rest of our water, in silence. Jared’s face was serious and focused.

“Still in a hurry?” he asked as we climbed into the jeep.

No. I wanted the time to stretch out forever.

“Yes.” What was the point in putting it off? The Seeker and her body would die if we waited too long, and I would still have to make the same choice.

“We’ll hit Phoenix, then. It’s logical that they wouldn’t notice this kind of raid. It doesn’t make sense for humans to take your cold-storage tanks. What possible use could we have for them?”

The question didn’t sound at all rhetorical, and I could feel him looking at me again. But I stared ahead at the rocks and said nothing.

It had been dark for a while by the time we traded vehicles and got to the freeway. Jared waited a few careful minutes with the inconspicuous sedan’s lights off. I counted ten cars passing by. Then there was a long darkness between the headlights, and Jared pulled onto the road.

The trip to Phoenix was very short, though Jared kept the speed scrupulously below the limit. Time was speeding up, as if the Earth were spinning faster.

We settled into the steady-moving traffic, flowing with it along the highway that circled the flat, sprawling city. I saw the hospital from the road. We followed another car up the exit ramp, moving evenly, without hurry.

Jared turned into the main parking lot.

“Where now?” he asked, tense.

“See if this road continues around the back. The tanks will be by a loading area.”

Jared drove slowly. There were many souls here, going in and out of the facility, some of them in scrubs. Healers. No one paid us any particular attention.

The road hugged the sidewalk, then curved around the north side of the building complex.

“Look. Shipping trucks. Head that way.”

We passed between a wing of low buildings and a parking garage. Several trucks, delivering medical supplies no doubt, were backed into receiving ports. I scanned the crates on the dock, all labeled.

“Keep going… though we might want to grab some of those on the way back. See-Heal… Cool… Still? I wonder what that one is.”

I liked that these supplies were labeled and left unguarded. My family wouldn’t go without the things they needed when I was gone. When I was gone; it seemed that phrase was tacked on to all of my thoughts now.

We rounded the back of another building. Jared drove a little faster and kept his eyes forward-there were people here, four of them, unloading a truck onto a dock. It was the exactness of their movements that caught my attention. They didn’t handle the smallish boxes roughly; quite the contrary, they placed them with infinite care onto the waist-high lip of concrete.

I didn’t really need the label for confirmation, but just then, one of the unloaders turned his box so the black letters faced me directly.

“This is the place we want. They’re unloading occupied tanks right now. The empty ones won’t be far… Ah! There, on the other side. That shed is half full of them. I’ll bet the closed sheds are all the way full.”

Jared kept driving at the same careful speed, turning the corner to the side of the building.

He snorted quietly.

“What?” I asked.

“Figures. See?”

He jerked his chin toward the sign on the building.

This was the maternity wing.

“Ah,” I said. “Well, you’ll always know where to look, won’t you?”

His eyes flashed to my face when I said that, and then back to the road.

“We’ll have to wait for a bit. Looked like they were almost finished.”

Jared circled the hospital again, then parked at the back of the biggest lot, away from the lights.

He killed the engine and slumped against the seat. He reached over and took my hand. I knew that he was about to ask, and I tried to prepare myself.

“Wanda?”

“Yes?”

“You’re going to save the Seeker, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Because it’s the right thing to do?” he guessed.

“That’s one reason.”

He was silent for a moment.

“You know how to get the soul out without hurting the body?”

My heart thumped hard once, and I had to swallow before I could answer. “Yes. I’ve done it before. In an emergency. Not here.”

“Where?” he asked. “What was the emergency?”