- •Int. Interrogation room - present
- •It took me long enough to learn them, but these can only help a player,
- •Volume at which he is advertising his wares.
- •It's contaminated. Others follow suit.
- •Int. Hatchet harry's office - day
- •I'll only be a minute.
- •Int. Ed and bacon's house - day
- •Int rory breaker's office - day
- •It looks like t, but who knows? The opportunity was there. In my
LOCK, STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS (1998)
by Guy Ritchie. Final script.
More info about this movie on imdb.com
Int. Interrogation room - present
This whole scene is shot using only extreme close-ups of eyes, cards,
tapping fingers and mouths. We open on a bright pair of eyes. One is
bruised and slightly swollen, but this does not detract from their
clarity.
EDDY
Three card brag is a simple form of poker; you are dealt only three
cards and these you can't change. If you don't look at your cards
you're a `blind man' and you only put in half the stake. Three of any
kind is the highest you can get: the odds are four hundred and twenty-
five to one. Then it's a running flush - you know, all the same suit
running in order; then a straight, then a flush, then a pair, and
finally whatever the highest card you are holding. There are some tell-
tale signs that are valuable; I am not going to tell you them because
It took me long enough to learn them, but these can only help a player,
not make one. So you want to play?
DISSOLVE TO BLACK. THE FIRST OF THE CREDITS APPEAR ON THE SCREEN.
FADE IN:
What have you got?
We cut to a beady pair of eyes and then to his cards as they are turned
over: three hearts of no consecutive numbers are exposed. That's a good
hand. A flush beats my pair. What about you?
* Cut from completed film.
Another pair of excited eyes widen to the question. We see more cards:
a run is revealed.
And here's me trying to explain the game to you. Hustlers, you're all
hustlers!
We cut to a shot of a small amount of money being scooped up. OK! You
got some real money?
DISSOLVE TO BLACK: MORE CREDITS APPEAR ON THE SCREEN.
FADE IN:
Ed scoops up a large pile of money.
Odds chaps, you gotta remember the odds.
There s a loud slam of a door. We cut to a wide shot of a policeman
who has just entered. It is then revealed that two of the three players
are also policemen. They stand to attention, red faced with
embarrassment.
SERG
I hope I am not interrupting. Comfortable, Edward?
EDDY
I haven't slept for forty-eight hours, got a dozen broken ribs, can
feel a case of the flu coming on and . . .
SERG
(interrupts)
All right, all right, don't think I wouldn't like to get rid of you;
but before I do, I need to know what's going on, son.
EDDY
If you think you're in the dark, I am in a black hole, blindfolded.
DISSOLVE TO BLACK. THE MUSIC STARTS.
We pull back out of the black to reveal that we have been sitting in
the inside of a shotgun. The barrels recede further, then `boom.' LOCK
STOCK are shot out of the top of the screen in peppered letters. We
wait for a while, as the barrels reappear through. the smoke. We then
see one smoking barrel; 'boom!' the other is let off: AND TWO SMOKING
BARRELS joins the sentence.]
EXT. STREET (FLASHBACK] - DAY
We open on a smart, casually dressed man selling perfume and jewellery
on a street corner. A crowd has gathered, attracted by the alarming
Volume at which he is advertising his wares.
BACON
See these goods, they never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite, Fanny-
by-the-gas-light. If you can't see value here today you're not up here
shopping, you're up here shoplifting. Take a bag, take a bag. I took a
bag, I took a bag home last night and she cost a lot more than ten
pounds I can tell ya. Tell me if I am going too cheap. Not ninety, not
eighty, not forty, half that and half that again, that's right, ten
pounds. Don't think 'cos it's sealed up it's an empty box. The only man
who sells empty boxes is the undertaker, and by the look of some of you
here today I would make more money with me measuring tape.
A well-dressed, zealous character (Eddy) appears from behind the crowd
waving money. It seems he can't wait to get rid of it.
EDDY
Bargain, that's a bloody bargain if I ever heard one. Ten pounds you
say? I'll have five.
Certainly sir. I'll just wrap.
Changing his attention.
BACON
Excuse me misses, sorry sir, ladies first and all that.
A tourist spectator, rather than a buyer, has been. put on the spot.
She fumbles through her bag hastily all too aware of the attention of
the crowd, of which she is now the focus. She passes her money like