Chapter 19
Ricky Prescott was in intensive care. There were tubes in his arm, his mouth, his nose and his neck. A nurse was checking them.
Fin looked at Ricky and decided he could no longer hate him.
"What chances has he got?" he asked the nurse.
"Not a lot. Hasn't he got any family?”
“The police are trying to find his father," said Mum. "His mother's dead." Dad looked away.
Ella was holding Mum's arm. They both looked tired. Only Sam was wide awake. He was watching Ricky closely.
"Go where?" said Sam suddenly.
"What did you say, darling?" Mum asked, but he wasn't listening. All he heard was the voice in his head. It was not the girl's voice - he knew somehow that he would never hear that voice again - but it was a nice voice.
Let me go, the voice said.
"Go where?" asked Sam again.
“Just go.”
"Are you going to die?"
"Sam?" asked Mum, but Sam heard only the voice.
“You're holding me back.”
"I'm not."
“You are. I'm sorry.”
"What for?"
"Sammy? Who are you talking to?" asked Fin. This time Sam heard him. He looked round at his family, then back to Ricky.
"I don't want you to die," he said. But there was no answer.
"Are you going to leave Dad?" Fin asked his mother later that day. Ella and Sam were asleep. Dad was tidying up the boat.
"I don't know," she sighed. "I just don't know."
"Is Dad going to get in trouble with the police?"
"I don't think so, love. It's all too long ago. The newspapers will have a fine time, but Dad hasn't broken the law."
"Will Ella get into trouble about shooting Ricky?"
"No. It was self-defence - or attempted suicide."
"So what's going to happen now, Mum?"
"I don't know," she said with a sigh. "But that's not what this is all about, Fin. It's not about what happens - it's about trust. I trusted Dad. Ella trusted him. We all trusted him. And I don't know if we can ever trust him again."
Ella woke in the night. The storm was over and she was safe in her bed. She had heard something - downstairs.
She got up to look. She looked into Fin's room. He was fast asleep. She stood at the head of the stairs and listened.
Tap!
She jumped. The noise came from downstairs, like last time. She looked back at Fin's room, at Mum and Dad's room, but she knew she would have to face this alone again. Slowly she walked downstairs.
Tap!
There were no lights on in the living-room, but the door was half open. She looked round the door.
Dad was standing by the window, looking out. Behind him was an open suitcase half full of clothes. He didn't seem to know that she was there.
Tap!
He was tapping his car key against the window. Slowly he slid to the floor, and as he turned, he saw her. He had been crying silently, but when he saw Ella he opened his mouth and began to sob so violently that she was frightened. He did not touch her, and she felt unable to touch him. Now she was crying, too. She walked out of the room but turned at the bottom of the stairs.
"Don't go," she said.
Chapter 20
The summer passed very slowly for Fin. Life went on and the family were still together, but things were different somehow. Billy and Angie didn't come over so much now. Mum and Dad were awkward with each other and Ella was wary of everybody, even him. Only Sam seemed the same.
Autumn came, and for Fin the clearest picture of what had happened that summer was, strangely enough, Pengrig lighthouse. They hadn't been back there, but the lighthouse was always in his thoughts and dreams, like a symbol of all that had happened.
Dad seemed to spend all his time working in the garden. The hard work took his mind off things.
"When's Dad coming back to us?" Fin had asked his mother.
"When he's ready," she had said. "When we're ready."
Fin could see Dad at the end of the garden now, and waved to him as they drove off to visit Ricky at the hospital.
Ricky was in his wheelchair when they arrived. He had just had breakfast and a nurse was wiping his mouth.
"How is he?" asked Mum.
"He's OK," said the nurse. "I just wish he had more visitors. If you and your children didn't come, I don't know what we'd do."
Sam was holding Ricky's hand and playing with his fingers.
"Hi, Ricky," said Sam.
"Gah!" said Ricky. Sam was his favourite visitor. Ricky never took his eyes off him. And they had strange little conversations where Sam did all the talking.
"I don't know how much Ricky understands," said the nurse, "but his eyes light up every time Sam comes near him."
They wanted to take Ricky out into the garden as usual. Sam always insisted on putting Ricky's shoes on. It took a long time, but he wouldn't let Fin help him. At last the shoes were on and they pushed the wheelchair outside. The sky was dark and the wind was growing stronger. It would rain soon. Sam ran beside the wheelchair, still holding Ricky's hand.
"Ricky wants to know when you're going back to the lighthouse."
Fin gave a start. Sam was looking at Ella. Then they both looked at him. "Do you want to go?" Fin asked her.
She was silent for a moment before asking Mum: "Is it OK?"
"Of course. You don't need my permission to go for a walk."
"I promise," said Sam to Ricky.
"What did you promise?" asked Mum.
"I promised Ricky not to go near the edge of the cliff again."
They didn't go to the lighthouse that day. It rained all afternoon and by night time a full storm was raging. It was still windy the next day, but the rain had stopped. Ella didn't really want to go, but she followed Fin through the garden. Dad was busy working outside. He waved to them and turned back to his work.
"Slow down, Ella," said Fin. "I know you want to get it over with, but there's no need to rush.”
They reached the coast path, but the Pengrig lighthouse was no longer there. The edge of the cliff had fallen in the storm during the night and had taken the old lighthouse with it. Everything, the buildings, even the fence. A mountain of rock rose from the sea, blocking the entrance to the smugglers' cave. "It's over," said Fin.
Ella didn't answer. He looked at her. She was crying.
"It's over for Imogen Prescott," she said.
There was a silence between them. Then he understood. "I'm sorry," he said, looking down, ashamed.
She kissed him on the cheek and turned back towards home.
Fin watched the green waves crashing on the rocks.
Mum was right. He had to be patient. He had to give Ella time. He had to just be there for her; and so he would, for as long as it took. He turned and ran after Ella. They walked back together towards Polvellan.