Riddles

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Q: What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages? A: (Try to elicit responses..) Tri-Lingual. Q: What do you call a person who speaks two languages? A: (Many of them know this one) Bi-Lingual. Q: What do you call a person who speaks one language? A: An American

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What is the longest word? A: Smiles, because there is a mile between the first and last s.

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Re-worded by another teacher. Q: What's the longest word in the English language? A: Smiles. (Because there's a mile between the first and the last letter.)

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A: What is the word that everybody always says wrong? B: "Wrong".

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Q: Is there a word in the English language that uses all the vowels including "y" ? A: Unquestionablely!

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Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.

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It states, "There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word?" The third word of that phrase is of course "language." Don't get angry at me, I didn't make it up :)

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Q: When does a dialect become a language? A: When its speakers get an army and a navy

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Q: Why did God create the man before he created the woman? A1: The answer that men give: To give him the chance to enjoy Heaven on Earth for a few moments. A2: The answer that women give: Everyone makes a draft first!

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It is greater than God and more evil than the devil. The poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?

Nothing. Nothing is greater than God, nothing is more evil than the devil, the poor have nothing, the rich need nothing and if you eat nothing you'll die

Grammar

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Q: What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? A: Short

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What is it that gets larger the more you take from it (a hole)

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What word becomes shorter by the addition of a syllable? (short)

Приложение 3

Jokes varia

If a diplomat says Yes, he means Perhaps. If he says Perhaps, he means No. If he says No, he is no diplomat.

If a lady says No, she means Perhaps. If she says Perhaps, she means Yes. If she says Yes, she is no lady.

The captain of the ship calls out: «Who is below?» (in the hold). A ship`s boy answers: «It`s me, it`s Billy, sir» «What are you doing there, Billy?» «I am doing ... nothing, sir». «Is Tom there?» «Yes» was the answer. «What is he doing?»

«I am helping Billy, sir».

Helping me, sir

Приложение 4

Letter from Daughter to Parents

Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I am very sorry for not having written before. Before you read on, please sit down. Don’t read it unless you are sitting down. Okay!

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's cosy. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some infection I carelessly caught it from him.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious. He is of a different race and religion than ours, I know you are very tolerant. His skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too, for I am told that his father is an important hunter in the village in Africa from which he came.

Now that you know it, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have syphillis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am getting a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science and I wanted you to see that those marks are not the worst thing.

Yours - Your Loving Daughter

skull fracture

concussion

dormitory = dorm

witness – очевидец, быть очевидцем

attendant

gas station

fire department

ambulance

share

basement room

cosy

fall in love

pregnancy pregnant

look forward

devotion

tender care

delay

carelessly

ambitious.

tolerant.

family background

hunter

engaged

a 'D' an 'F'

Приложение 5

BRITISH AND AMERICAN ENGLISH

Приложение 6