Life Styles: “What Makes a Good Parent”?

(Gloria Hunniford’s TV Talk Show)

ULRIKA JONSSON AND GUN BRODIE

1. What kind of child was Ulrika (a TV presenter)?

extravert from the time she started walking and talking; to be off with other families on holidays.

2. How does her mother look upon the fact that she left Ulrika and the home when the girl was 8? Was it a hard and searching decision? Why? Any feeling of guilt?

everybody was against her at the time; never worried about the fact.

2. How does Ulrika look upon the same fact? Did it haunt her all her life?

to be like a long holiday; “I’ve might have found it more difficult to take in”; to be adaptable; a new situation to deal with; to have to be the wife to her father: cook, do things about the house; not to forgive inside (“Why did she leave me?”); still trying to get her parents together.

4. Dr. Dennis G. of the outpatient clinic at the University of Chicago Medical School says: “A child needs two loving parents. When one parent is absent, physically or emotionally the child can develop great difficulties.” How did the absence of Ulrika’s mother affect Ulrika over the years? Was it both physical and emotional absence? Did she try to get her parents to reunite?

to learn a lot from living on one’s own;

But: “I wish she’d be with me. I’d have better security .What was lacking is the support you get from both parents’ reliability. I would depend on people a lot, whereas I am a terrible worrier, I’d be calmer.”

5. What does Ulrika point out as a very positive aspect in the relationship of her parents, in spite of their separation? Is it a common situation?

never to speak badly of each other in front of smb.

6. When a parent marries again and has a new family do the children normally feel jealous and resentful of their brothers and sisters in the new family? Was it the case with Ulrika?

to feel maternal towards smb; to get straight to work; to be in a crèche, a kinder­garten; to be taken to horseriding, ballet lessons; to learn to play the piano; resentment going on, to be resentful of smth.

7. Now that Ulrika is married, analysing her own situation as a child, what does she consider important for herself as a future mother?

to have plenty of children; to give them love and security; to come from a very family-oriented family (unit); to be both there for one’s children.

RICHARD BRIERS, HIS DAUGHTER LUCY

TV comedian and theatre actor; an actress (classical theatre)

1. Was Lucy raised in both physical and emotional presence of both her parents? Why was she more influenced by her mother at an earlier age?

Father: to be away a lot from the family and home; to delay the development of their relationship; to be transferred to Mum, to be the rock; a remarkable wife and mother (“the nicer part of her character comes from her”); a very female household.

2. Counselors insist that children can benefit visibly from regular visits to the workplace of their parents. Understanding more about the professional activities their parents are involved in is described as an utterly positive experience and an effective way of bridging the gaps that exist between the two generations. Did Lucy’s experience prove the truth of such an approach?

to be bright academically; a marine biologist; both parents; to be well in the acting business; to be pining to be in the building (theatre); to talk theatre at home; to be lukewarm about smth; (“I always do what I do regardless of what other people think or say”); to match up to one’s family tradition and popularity; pressure; the opposite sex; to get away with it; to expect to be funny.

3. It is true that as children grow up they can understand their parents more?

a better grounding for understanding; to develop a relationship; to play together (to put “The Tempest” on); to further one’s relationship; to be private about one’s work; to open things up.

4. Things seem to be smooth and “charming” as you try to generally characterize the relationships within the family in public. Are they as simple as smooth and charming in actual fact, say in the Briers family?

to keep clashing; to be both stubborn, impatient, irritable; to be independent spiritually.

5. What is it that Lucy considers the most valuable thing about the way her parents raised her and her sister? Why wouldn’t she change the pattern but rather reproduce it when she marries and becomes a parent?

to be full of communication; to be very open about sex; to be healthy; to talk everything out (“I would like to be the same as my mother, as she brought me and my sister up”).

6. Do you think Lucy’s parents adhered more to the “permissive” theory of child rearing, “the liberated child” philosophy?

to encourage parents to discuss problems with their youngsters; rely on persuasion rather than punishment.

7. What conclusion does Lucy make about the main principle that good parents should bear in mind in rearing children?

“The most important thing is to let your children know that you love them and the security is there and they have the freedom to do or to be whatever they want.”

FIVE GENERATIONS OF ONE FAMILY

Florence, 96; still going strong; to be slightly hard of hearing.

1. What proves that in spite of the differences in the age they have a lot of in common?

a strong link; to be blood-related; it carries through the generations; to keep very close together; a big get-together.

2. How do the 5 generations manage to keep up a good relationship? Without disagreement, clashing?

1. to strive for independence; to be all powerful women; “Living together we don’t necessarily get on very well”; to spark off; to be healthy; not to suppress and pretend what you are not feeling, that you are a jolly happy family; to be part of humanity;

2. to live separately; to have many interests in life; to live away from each other; to get on very well.

3. Which period as the grandmother thinks was the toughest in her relationship with her daughter? How does she account for it?

a teenager; to have battles; to cope with; to get smb into one’s way of thinking before they get to 12 or 13; to be individuals; to want more freedom; to have plenty.

4. Does the daughter admit that since she became a mother herself, her understanding of and closeness with her mother has increased?

“Absolutely”; to do universally; “That’s the stuff women are made of.”

FOSTER PARENTS

to have 4 children of one’s own; to have fostered 40 over the years; to get an award (much deserved)

1. How do the parents explain the fact that having 4 children of their own they foster other peoples’, currently 15 at a time? What are they guided by?

to have an abundance of love and affection to give all these children; hard work; hard to cope; to physically have enough time.

2. What important observation does the mother make? Is it a one-way benefit - the relationship between parents and children?

“Children give you so much. You learn a lot from children.”

3. What is the main thing that they, as foster parents, try to give their foster children and, in these efforts teach their own children to do?

different relationship; not fair; to be special; to feel insecure; to part; to prepare smb.

4. What do you think of people who either have a lot of children of their own or adopt many children?