Parameters of Variation

Given the absence of Moral Order, there are only three parameters of variation that apply to the Nurturant Parent model:

1. Linear Scales

2. Moral Focus

3. The Pragmatic-Idealistic Dimension

However, they still provide for a great many variations.

Linear scales

Almost everything in the model is a matter of degree: empathy, nurturance, self-nurturance, protection, developing one's potential, and so on. As a result there are variants in which certain aspects of the model are overdone or underdone. Too much nurturance is smothering, too little is neglectful. Too little self-nurturance is self-sacrificing and imposing a burden on others; too much may take time and energy from needed nurturance.

Moral focus

Moral focus interacts with linear scales. Thus a parent whose moral focus is protection will put more energy into protection than into other things. This may result in being overprotective. A parent who puts his moral focus on developing his own potential may put an extreme amount of his energy into that, put little energy into anything else, and become self-centered, irresponsible, and neglectful. A parent whose moral focus is happiness may put most of his energy into being happy and become self-indulgent, irresponsible, and neglectful.

But moral focus does not always result in such "pathological" variations. It is possible to have protection, say, as a moral focus without being overprotective, or to have self-development as a moral focus without being neglectful. For these reasons, proper "balance" is a constant concern for a nurturant parent. Perhaps the most prevalent metaphor I have encountered among nurturant parents trying to maintain such a balance is that of a "juggler" trying to keep many pins in the air at once.

The pragmatic-idealistic dimension

In the central model discussed above, nurturance takes priority over the pursuit of self-interest. That is, nurturance is the end and the pursuit of self-interest is a means to serve the goal of being properly nurturant. That is the idealistic version of the model. This is true of parents, who may seek money and power to be able to take care of their family better. It is also true of the raising of children: children are raised to become nurturant, and they learn to pursue their self-interest so that they can be better nurturers, that is, to be able to support their family, develop their own potential, help their children develop their potential, to take care of themselves, and so on.

The pragmatic version reverses ends and means. In the pragmatic version, the pursuit of self-interest is the end and nurturance is the means. You can pursue your self-interest better if you are empathetic, take care of others, take care of yourself, develop your potential, protect others, and treat others fairly. In the pragmatic version of the Nurturant Parent model, you nurture your children so that they can pursue their self-interest.

When we apply these models to politics, we will see that all these variations have political correlates.

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