I did try. And surprisingly, there were other things almost as stressful to dwell on besides my status on the endangered species list. . . .

Edward frowned at that.

Because Edward's response had been the most frustrating of them all.

"That's between you and Carlisle," he'd said. "Of course, you know that I'm willing to make it between you and me at any time that you wish. You know my condition." And he had smiled angelically.

Edward and Alice both smiled at that and Emmett frowned.

Ugh. I did know his condition. Edward had promised that he would change me himself whenever I wanted . . . just as long as I was married to him first.

"And who would want to do that?" Emmett laughed.

"Anyone would be lucky to have Edward," Esme said. "And Bella wants him...she's just having issues with the idea of marriage."

Sometimes I wondered if he was only pretending that he couldn't read my mind. How else had he struck upon the one condition that I would have trouble accepting? The one condition that would slow me down.

"Luck," Edward said. "I didn't know what would slow you down but I had to try everything I could to do that. Luckily, you have a very open face and I could see how opposed to the idea you were."

"Come now, Edward, you know that you want to marry her for more reasons than just stalling her," Jasper said.

"Of course I do," Edward smiled brightly. "I want to marry her because...Well, I just want to marry her...it just has the added bonus that it stalls her."

All in all, a very bad week. And today was the worst day in it.

It was always a bad day when Edward was away. Alice had foreseen nothing out of the ordinary this weekend, and so I'd insisted that he take the opportunity to go hunting with his brothers. I knew how it bored him to hunt the easy, nearby prey.

"It does, but I don't want to be away from her," Edward frowned.

"Go have fun," I'd told him. "Bag a few mountain lions for me."

I would never admit to him how hard it was for me when he was gone - how it brought back the abandonment nightmares.

Edward stiffened, not liking the sound of that one bit.

"Don't worry Edward, she's never going to feel that way in our reality," Esme said. "Because you're never going to leave her."

If he knew that, it would make him feel horrible and he would be afraid to ever leave me, even for the most necessary reasons. It had been like that in the beginning, when he'd first returned from Italy. His golden eyes had turned black and he'd suffered from his thirst more than it was already necessary that he suffer. So I put on a brave face and all but kicked him out the door whenever Emmett and Jasper wanted to go.

"It's really not a good idea to do that," Jasper said.

"I would never hurt Bella," Edward said.

"I didn't mean that you would," Jasper clarified. "I just meant that all it did was make both of you suffer and it would be better if you just feed."

I think he saw through me, though. A little. This morning there had been a note left on my pillow:

I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart - I've left it with you.

Esme and Alice aww'ed and Emmett and Jasper snorted. Edward just pinched the bridge of his nose.

So now I had a big empty Saturday with nothing but my morning shift at Newton's Olympic Outfitters to distract me. And, of course, the oh-so-comforting promise from Alice.

"What wrong with me promising her something?" Alice huffed and Jasper decided that reading was the best way to answer that question.

"I'm staying close to home to hunt. I'll only be fifteen minutes away if you need me. I'll keep an eye out for trouble."

Translation: don't try anything funny just because Edward is gone.

"Oh," Alice said warily.

"It looks like I'm not the only one that thinks Bella would be in danger if she was near the wolves," Edward said.

"No, I would think they were dangerous too," Alice agreed, knowing that was true and that she would do just about anything to keep Bella safe.

Alice was certainly just as capable of crippling my truck as Edward was.

I tried to look on the bright side. After work, I had plans to help Angela with her announcements, so that would be a distraction. And Charlie was in an excellent mood due to Edward's absence, so I might as well enjoy that while it lasted. Alice would spend the night with me if I was pathetic enough to ask her to.

"Yes, be pathetic," Alice said.

And then tomorrow, Edward would be home.

I would survive.

Not wanting to be ridiculously early for work, I ate my breakfast slowly, one Cheerio at a time. Then, when I'd washed the dishes, I arranged the magnets on the fridge into a perfect line. Maybe I was developing obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The last two magnets - round black utilitarian pieces that were my favorites because they could hold ten sheets of paper to the fridge without breaking a sweat - did not want to cooperate with my fixation. Their polarities were reversed; every time I tried to line the last one up, the other jumped out of place.

"Why is she thinking about this?" Emmett said, confused, and this time no one had an answer to that.

For some reason - impending mania, perhaps - this really irritated me. Why couldn't they just play nice? Stupid with stubbornness, I kept shoving them together as if I was expecting them to suddenly give up. I could have flipped one over, but that felt like losing. Finally, exasperated at myself more than the magnets, I pulled them from the fridge and held them together with two hands. It took a little effort - they were strong enough to put up a fight - but I forced them to coexist side-by-side.

"See," I said out loud - talking to inanimate objects, never a good sign -

"No, it's not, but it's better than hearing voices in your head," Emmett laughed.

"It's me and the pup," Edward sighed. "What she's thinking about the magnets...it's because she wants me and the pup to get along...forget our differences."

"Well good luck with that one," Emmett laughed.

"It could happen," Edward shrugged.

"No...not with the way things are now, it can't," Emmett said. "The wolves have a chance to change their minds about us, but you and the pup..."

"I would try for her," Edward said, closing his eyes. "I would do anything for her."

"That's not so horrible, is it?"

I stood there like an idiot for a second, not quite able to admit that I wasn't having any lasting effect against scientific principles. Then, with a sigh, I put the magnets back on the fridge, a foot apart.

"There's no need to be so inflexible," I muttered.

It was still too early, but I decided I'd better get out of the house before the inanimate objects started talking back.

"Now see, that's when you know you're really crazy," Emmett laughed.

When I got to Newton's, Mike was methodically dry mopping the aisles while his mom arranged a new counter display. I caught them in the middle of an argument, unaware that I had arrived.

"But it's the only time that Tyler can go," Mike complained. "You said after graduation -"

"You're just going to have to wait," Mrs. Newton snapped. "You and Tyler can think of something else to do. You are not going to Seattle until the police stop whatever it is that is going on there.

"They're bringing up Seattle again," Jasper narrowed his eyes. "I don't like this."

"You think we will actually get involved with that?" Edward narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, judging by the other books, conversations like this usually have meaning," Jasper said, frowning. "But I don't know what it means yet."