Books on Happiness / The Definitive Book Of Body Language- 2 students

How the Legs Reveal What the Mind Wants to Do

Male participants at sports matches can be seen standing around with each other in this position at half time and giving their crotch a continual adjustment. These adjustments have nothing to do with itching - they allow males to highlight their masculinity and show solidarity as a team by all performing the same actions.

The Crotch Display is used by macho men and tough guys

3.The Foot-Forward

The body weight is shifted to one hip, which leaves the front foot pointing forward. Paintings done during the Middle Ages often show high status men standing in the Foot-Forward Position as it allowed them to display their fine hosiery, shoes and breeches.

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The Foot-Forward Position - pointing at where the mind wants to go

This a valuable clue to a person's immediate intentions, because we point our lead foot in the direction our mind would like to go and this stance looks as if the person is beginning to walk. In a group situation, we point our lead foot at the most interesting or attractive person but when we want to leave, we point our feet at the nearest exit.

4. Leg Cross

The next time you attend a meeting with men and women you will notice some groups of people standing with their arms and legs crossed. Look more closely and you'll also see that they are standing at a greater distance from each other than the customary social distance.

The Standing-Leg-Cross

If they are wearing coats or jackets, they are likely to be buttoned. This is how most people stand when they are among

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How the Legs Reveal What the Mind Wants to Do

people whom they don't know well. If you interact with them you would find that one or all of them are unfamiliar with others in the group.

While open legs can show openness or dominance, crossed legs shows a closed, submissive or defensive attitude as they symbolically deny any access to the genitals.

The Scissors - 'No comment' but he's not leaving

For a woman, positions like the Scissors and the Single-Leg-Cross send two messages: one, that she intends to stay, not leave; and two, that access is denied. When a man does it, it also shows he'll stay but wants to be sure you don't 'kick him where it hurts'. Open legs display masculinity; closed legs protect masculinity. If he's with men he feels are inferior to him, the Crotch Display feels right; if he's with superior males, however, this gesture makes him look competitive and he feels vulnerable. Studies show that people who lack confidence also take Leg Cross positions.

Open legs show male confidence; dosed legs show male reticence.

Imagine now that you notice another group of people standing with arms unfolded, palms visible, coats unbuttoned, relaxed appearance and leaning back on one leg with the other pointing towards others in the group. All are gesturing with their hands and moving in and out of each other's Personal Space. Closer investigation would reveal that these people are friends or are known personally to each other. The first group of

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The Definitive Book of Body Language

people with the closed arms and legs may have relaxed facial expressions and conversation that sounds free and easy, but the folded arms and legs tell us that they are not as relaxed or confident with each other as they are trying to appear.

Try this: join a group where you know no one and stand with your arms and legs tightly crossed and wear a serious expression. One by one the other group members will cross their arms and legs and remain in that position until you, the stranger, leave. Walk away and watch how, one by one, the members of the group assume their original open poses once again.

Crossing the legs not only reveals negative or defensive emotions, it makes a person appear insecure and causes others to react accordingly.

Defensive, Cold or 'Just Comfortable'?

Some people will claim that they are not defensive or feeling insecure when they cross their arms or legs, but do it because they're cold. When someone wants to warm his hands he'll thrust them under his armpits rather than tucking them under the elbows, as is the case with a defensive arm-cross. Second, when a person feels cold he may use a type of body hug and when the legs are crossed they are usually straight, stiff and pressed hard against each other as opposed to the more relaxed leg posture of the defensive stance or position.

She's more likely to be cold or just looking for the rest room

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How the Legs Reveal What the Mind Wants to Do

People who habitually cross their arms or legs prefer to say that they are cold rather than admit that they could be nervous, anxious or defensive. Others simply say they're 'comfortable'. That's probably true — when someone feels defensive or insecure, crossed arms and legs feel comfortable because it matches their emotional state.

How We Move from Closed to Open

As people begin to feel more comfortable in a group and get to know others, they move through a series of movements taking them from the defensive crossed arms and legs position to the relaxed open position. This standing 'opening-up' procedure follows the same sequence everywhere.

1. Uncertain about each other

2. Openness and acceptance

It begins with the closed position, arms and legs crossed (illustration 1). As they begin to feel comfortable with each other and rapport builds, their legs uncross first and their feet are Placed together in the Attention Position. Next, the arm folded on top in the arm-cross comes out and the palm is occasionally flashed when speaking but is eventually not used as a barrier. Instead, it may hold the outside of the other arm in a

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Single-Arm-Barrier. Both arms unfold next, and one arm gestures or may be placed on the hip or in the pocket. Finally, one person takes the Foot-Forward Position, showing acceptance of the other person (illustration 2).

The European Leg Cross

One leg is crossed neatly over the other, with 70% of people crossing left over right. This is the normal crossed-leg position used by European, Asian and British cultures.

The European/British

Leg Cross

When a person crosses both legs and arms they have emotionally withdrawn from the conversation and it can be futile to try to be convincing when they sit like this.

Not open to communicating on any level

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How the Legs Reveal What the Mind Wants to Do

In business contexts, we have found that people sitting like this talk in shorter sentences, reject more proposals and can recall less detail of what was discussed than those who sit with their arms and legs in an open position.

The American Figure Four

This position is a seated version of a Crotch Display as it highlights the genitals and is used by American males or any cultures that are becoming 'Americanised', such as the youth of Singapore, Japan and the Philippines. It shows that an argumentative or competitive attitude exists. Monkeys and chimps also use genital displays when they are being aggressive, because a good display can avoid the damage that could be inflicted from a physical fight. With all primates, the male with the most impressive display is seen by the others as the winner. Places like Australia and New Zealand use both European leg crossing and the Figure Four. During the Second World War, the Nazis kept a lookout for the Figure Four as anyone using it was clearly not German or had spent time in the USA.

Ready to argue the point - the American Figure Four

The Figure Four is still uncommon in Britain and Europe among older people but is now seen in diverse cultures such as Russia, Japan, Sardinia and Malta among the younger generations who are addicted to American films and television and

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are mirroring what they see. Men who sit like this are not only perceived as being more dominant, they are also seen as relaxed and youthful. In parts of the Middle East and Asia however, the Figure Four is seen as an insult because it shows the sole of the shoe and that's the part that walks in dirt.

Women who wear trousers or jeans can sometimes be seen sitting in the Figure Four position, but they usually do it only around other women, not men, as they don't want to appear too masculine or to signal sexual availability.

Studies also show that most people make most of their final decision to do something when both feet are on the ground, so the Figure Four is not conducive to asking someone to make a decision.

When the Body Closes, so Does the Mind

We attended a conference where the audience was split 50/50 male and female and was comprised of about 100 managers and 500 salespeople. A controversial issue was being discussed - the treatment of salespeople by corporations. A well-known speaker who was head of the salespersons' association was asked to address the group. As he took the stage almost all the male managers and around 25% of the female managers took the defensive Arms-and-Legs-Crossed position, revealing how threatened they felt by what they thought he would say. Their fears were well founded. He raged about the poor quality of management and how this was a major contributing factor to the industry's staffing problems. Throughout his speech, most salespeople in the audience were either leaning forward showing interest or using evaluation gestures, but the managers held their defensive position.

When the mind closes, the body follows.

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How the Legs Reveal What the Mind Wants to Do

The salesperson then discussed what he believed the manager's role should be, relative to salespeople. Almost as if they were players in an orchestra who had been given a command by the orchestra leader, most of the male managers shifted to the Figure Four position. They were now mentally debating the salesperson's point of view and many later confirmed that this had been the case. We noticed that some managers had not changed their posture. Even though most had also disagreed with the speaker's views, some were unable to take the Figure Four because of physical or medical conditions such as being overweight, having leg problems or arthritis.

If you're trying to persuade someone who sits in any of these positions you should attempt to get them to uncross before continuing. If you have something to show, invite them to sit beside you or give them things to do or to hold so that they lean forward to write notes or hold brochures and samples. Offering tea or coffee also works well as it makes it hard for a person to cross their arms and legs without burning themself.

Figure Four Leg Clamp

Not only does this person have a competitive attitude, they lock the Figure Four into a permanent position using one or both hands as a clamp. This is a sign of the tough-minded, stubborn individual who rejects any opinion other than their own.

The Leg Clamp - locking a competitive attitude into place

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The Ankle Lock

The male version of the Ankle Lock is often combined with clenched fists resting on the knees or with the hands tightly gripping the arms of the chair and a seated Crotch Display (see below). The female version varies slightly: the knees are held together, the feet may be to one side and the hands rest side by side or one on top of the other resting on the upper legs.

The Ankle Lock: A woman minimising her leg space and a man taking up more space

Over three decades of interviewing and selling to people, we have noted that when an interviewee locks his ankles, he is mentally 'biting his lip'. The gesture shows that he is holding back a negative emotion, uncertainty or fear. The feet are usually withdrawn under the chair, showing that the person also has a withdrawn attitude. When people are involved in a conversation, they also put their feet into the conversation.

Our work with lawyers showed that defendants who sat outside the courtroom just prior to a hearing were three times more likely than the plaintiffs to have their ankles tightly locked under their chairs as they tried to control their emotional state. Our study of 319 dental patients showed that 88 %

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