The Undomestic Goddess - Sophie Kinsella

with a for sale post. Ahead are banks of greenhouses, glinting in the low sunlight. There are plots filled with rows of vegetables, there’s a Portakabin marked GARDEN CENTER…

Hang on.

I turn to see that Nathaniel has got out of the car too and is holding a sheaf of papers in his hand.

“A horticultural business opportunity,” he reads aloud. “Four acres of land, with ten more available, subject to negotiation. Ten thousand square feet of glasshouses. Four-bedroom farmhouse, needs work…”

“You’re buying this?” I say, my attention fully grabbed.

“I’m thinking about it. I wanted to show you first.” He spreads an arm around. “It’s a pretty good concern. Needs building up, but the land’s there. We can get some polytunnels going, extend the offices…”

I can’t take all this in.

“But what about the pubs? How come you’re suddenly—”

“It was you. What you said in the garden that day.” He pauses, the breeze ruffling his hair. “You’re right, Samantha. I’m not a landlord, I’m a gardener. I’d be happier doing what I really want to do. So… I had a long talk with Mum and she understood. We both reckon Eamonn can take over. Not that he knows yet.”

“Wow.” I look around again, taking in a pile of wooden crates, stacks of seed trays, a tattered poster advertising Christmas trees. “So you’re really going to do it?”

I can see the excitement in his face. “You only get one chance at life.”

“Well, I think it’s fantastic!”

“And there’s a house.” He nods toward it. “Or at least, there will be a house. It’s a bit run-down.”

“Right.” I take in the old stone house again. The paintwork is peeling and there’s a shutter hanging offone hinge. “It does look a bit of a mess.”

“I wanted you to see it first,” says Nathaniel. “Get your approval. I mean, one day you might—” He stops.

All of a sudden my relationship sensors are swiveling round madly, like the Hubble spotting an alien ship. What did they just pick up? What was he going to say?

“I might… stay over?” I supply at last.

“Exactly.” Nathaniel rubs his nose. “Shall we have a look?”

The house is bigger than it seems from the outside, with bare boards and old fireplaces and a creaking wooden staircase. One room has practically no plaster, and the kitchen is totally oldfashioned, with 1930s cupboards.

“Great kitchen.” I shoot him a teasing look.

“I’m sure I could refit it to your Cordon Bleu standards,” he returns.

We make our way upstairs and into a huge bedroom overlooking the rear of the house. From above, the vegetable plots look like an orderly patchwork quilt, stretching away into the green meadow. I can see a little terrace down below and a tiny private garden belonging to the house, all clematis and tangled roses.

“It’s a beautiful place,” I say, leaning on the windowsill. “I love it.”

Standing here, looking out at the view, I feel like London is on another planet. Carter Spink and Arnold and all of them suddenly seem part of another life.

But even as I’m gazing out at the restful country scene, I can’t relax. All it would take is one phone call to the right person.“..

If I had some proof…

Anything…

My mind starts turning over the facts again, like a bird turning over empty snail shells. I’m going to drive myself crazy like this.

“What I was wondering is…”

Suddenly I become aware that Nathaniel is speaking. In fact I think he could have been speaking for a while—and I haven’t heard a word. I hastily turn round, to see him facing me. His cheeks are flushed and he has an unfamiliar awkwardness

about him. It looks like whatever he’s been saying has required some effort.

“… do you feel the same way, Samantha?”

He coughs, and breaks off into an expectant silence.

I stare back at him dumbly. Do I feel the same way about what?

Oh, shit. Bollocks. The man I’m secretly falling in love with just made a romantic speech to me—probably the only one I’ll get in my whole life—and I wasn’t listening? I missed it?

I want to shoot myself for being so rubbish.

And now he’s waiting for me to reply. What am I going to do? He’s just spilled

his heart to me. I can’t say, “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Um…” I push my hair back, playing for time. “Well… you’ve given me quite a lot to think about.”

“But do you agree?”

OK, this is Nathaniel. I’m sure I agree with it, whatever it is.

“Yes.” I give him the most sincere look I can muster. “Yes, I agree. Wholeheartedly. In fact… I’ve often thought so myself.”

Nathaniel is scrutinizing me. “You agree,” he says, as though to make sure. “With everything?”

“Er…yes!” I’m starting to feel a bit nervous now. What have I agreed to?

“Even about the chimpanzees?”

“The chimpanzees‘?” I suddenly see Nathaniel’s mouth twitching. He’s on to me.

“You didn’t listen to a word I was saying, did you?” he says, in matter-of- fact tones.

“I didn’t realize you were saying something important!” I wail, hanging my head. “You should have warned me!”

Nathaniel looks at me incredulously. “That took some nerve, you know, saying all that.”

“Say it again,” I beg. “Say it all again! I’ll listen!”

“Uh-uh.” He laughs, shaking his head. “Maybe one day.”

“I’m sorry, Nathaniel. Really I am.” I turn away to press my head against the window glass. “I was just… distracted.”

“I know.” He comes over and puts his arms around me, over my own. I can feel his steady heartbeat against me, calming me down.“Samantha, what’s up? It’s your old relationship, isn’t it?”

“Yup,” I mutter after a pause.

“Why won’t you tell me about it? I could help.”

I turn round to face him. The sun is glowing in his eyes and on his burnished face. He’s never looked more handsome.

I know I can’t hide my past forever. I could tell Nathaniel the whole story, right here, right now. But at the same time, I