Lerner S. - Kids who think outside the box (2005)(en)

xxx	INTRODUCTION

child who falls in love with the luge and may one day achieve the gold.

Through the personal accounts of dozens of such children, today’s “living legends,” world-renowned individuals who have made contributions in a variety of fields—from the arts to the sciences, you will be inspired by their stories of what motivated them to reach their personal pinnacles of success. Their stories illustrate that a childhood is a moment in time, leading to the path of limitless opportunities, achievements, and adventures.

Kids Who Think Outside the Box is comprised of three sections.

Part One identifies the characteristics of the kid who thinks outside the box. It illustrates the importance of this child within a group, commmunity, and family. This section emphasizes to parents, teachers, guidance counselors, and others the importance of acceptance and respect in regard to this child who is not the “cookie-cutter” kid. It then provides strategies and insights from experts to bring out your child’s fullest potential—those magical qualities that are paramount to a child achieving his or her personal best.

The second part of the book, “Living Legends and Eminent Achievers,” consists of 31 personal contributions from individuals who thought distinctively in their youth and because of their awe-inspiring individuality significantly succeeded in adulthood.

Almost every contribution in this section was specifically written for this book. In some cases it took two years to reach these notable persons because of their work commitments,

PART

ONE

Nurturing Your

Unique Child

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Do All Kids Have

Out-of-the-Box Potential?

You Bet They Do!

THINK DIFFERENT! This phrase makes for a strong, successful, and inspiring Apple Computer ad campaign, but, although much emphasis is placed on the importance of an individual being diverse in thought and spirit, parents and educators alike seem to fear a child who is an original, who may be out of step with the kid next door.

In most cases, our concern is for our child’s well-being; we want our children to be well liked, to feel they’re part of a team, and, dare I say it—popular. We justify these feelings by thinking that the mainstream kid integrates better into the community and therefore will interact more effectively, make a stronger contribution, and ultimately be more successful than the child who thinks as a unique individual. In many cases, mainstream kids do assimilate more smoothly and easily into social situations and their own personal neighborhoods, but often it is the children with out-of-the-box characteristics, who have the ability to make a significant and inspiring contribution to their community and the talent and vision to change the world in a positive way.

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4	Kids WHO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

Out-of-the-box qualities and characteristics are the stepping stones that will help a child ultimately achieve his or her personal best; that will better enable him or her to reach for the stars. These distinctive attributes are driven by intellect, talent, a dynamic persona, and any other factor that elevates the child to a level above and/or outside the norm. These attributes make a child a vibrant exception to the masses.

An out-of-the-box kid can be that shy child who hasn’t yet developed social skills, but has a highly sophisticated comprehension of and interest in the universe. Peers might call this child a “geek” or “nerd” but in twenty years that child might be an innovator in space exploration. Another might be overly outgoing, a well-liked child who possesses an uncharacteristic level of maturity and compassion and a highly developed social conscience. You feel that this child could reinvent the “Peace Corps” by the ripe old age of seven. This is our future leader, writer, and commentator.

Any child can have out-of-the-box traits. Parents, teachers, counselors, and significant educators need to identify these qualities, work with the child to pursue and develop the characteristics at which he or she is adept, preserve the child’s individuality, and help that child integrate into the group, the classroom, and community.

This element of distinctiveness should be encouraged in all kids. Mainstream children are often rewarded for their sameness, which then becomes the key to who they are. Yet, they too may have wonderfully unique attributes that will be enhanced only if nurtured and explored. As a rule, up until the time they are ready to apply for college, mainstream kids are held up as the group to emulate and deemed “most likely to succeed.”

Then it’s time for college, and the qualities that have successfully taken a child through high school are not enough. A little more is needed: more individuality, more breadth,

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and more depth. Suddenly, those wonderful interests that set an out-of-the-box kid apart from the mainstream are now in demand.

In interviews, several directors of admissions from wellknown universities around the country explained that three elements are considered crucial for admission:

•The candidate should clearly demonstrate high quality; an all-round balanced person who has successfully developed his or her talent. Although many kids possess stellar academic records, the applicant who has identified his or her special abilities, worked on them, built on them, and utilized them is the one who meets the tangible and intangible talent criteria that the school is seeking.

•The school also assesses “how well the candidate does the things he/she loves.” This is an extension of the first point, and the next step in the process. Once the child has discovered “uniqueness of self,” what he or she does with that raw talent becomes the measure of success. Of course, the directors didn’t expect an applicant’s résumé to read like that of a superstar in the field, but they were looking for personal accomplishment that was individual and was pursued since childhood.

•The candidate should have as much potential to develop future ability as was demonstrated in the past. A prospective student is judged on how well the college feels he or she will “develop those abilities for the benefit of themselves, the workforce, and society.”

The directors also made it clear that not every school is right for every child and emphasized that careful attention should be paid to locating the setting that will bring out the

6	Kids WHO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

best in each student. An admissions professional from Harvard advised parents to know their child and to give that child a lot space to figure out what he or she loves to do and suggested that teachers and counselors, to the extent possible, must be aware of each child as an individual.

The question and challenge is how to positively nurture a child’s unique qualities and distinctive characteristics at the same time as the child is integrated into an educational and social environment, so that childhood can be a magical time of growth, wonder, and development.

Deborah Hardy, former president of the New York State School Counselor Association (NYSSCA) and a school counselor in Irvington, New York, also provided valuable insight into what and who is important to the success of a child’s total educational experience. “Working with parents, teachers, kids, and administrators in the process of the total education of a child is integral to a positive outcome. Unlike other fields, I have learned that all of us who are active in the teaching process have to be a jack-of-all trades and ‘an expert at all.”’ Based on her years of experience, she offered some practical advice to teachers, administrators, and parents:

Teachers: As early as kindergarten, it is important to incorporate your student’s experiences into the classroom. Learning goes beyond the classroom environment and by asking students to share outside activities, endeavors, and encounters with others, you enhance the child’s position within the group. You also add to the diversity and collective self-esteem of the classroom.

Memory-based tests should not be the only way to assess academic and classroom success, especially in the lower and middle school years. Encourage a variety of assessments. Let students show their talents and interests through portfolios, drawings, or music. She recommends

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incorporating discussions on topics relevant to the material and incorporating problem solving, analysis, and the discovery of new ideas and concepts into the classroom.

It’s essential that teachers get to know their students. Learning who these children are and integrating their special qualities into the personality and fabric of the classroom, enhances the individual’s as well as the group’s learning experience.

Teachers also need time to share with one another their ideas for enhancing the student’s learning and interests. It also gives them perspective, strategies, and new ideas.

Administrators: Teachers need a strong educational and visionary plan. Too often administrators forget that their work affects the student. Administrators must set the vision and then frequently communicate with the teachers to ensure they are working well together; sometimes ideas work in theory, but not in practice. It’s also a good idea to work with the school counselor to establish a class time to get student feedback on problem solving, curriculum discussion, interests, and the development of activities and groups that may not be present at the school.

Parents: It is the parent’s job to raise strong, independent children with a definite sense of self. You are there to guide and educate them. Parents who are overprotective limit what works for their children.

Trust is a major factor. Parents must trust their children, themselves, and their parenting values. This is paramount in the development of the solid parenting skills and strategies needed to raise a well-balanced child.

Children react well to approval, which, in many cases, they take to mean love. It’s important for parents to listen to their children. Approval is important to all of us.

8	Kids WHO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

Children’s behavior is affected by their environment. Although grades are important, approval should also be based on how a child overcomes obstacles and meets challenges.

As Deborah Hardy implies, in addition to the parent, the teacher has the most important role in educating and building the self-esteem of a child. Encouraging individuality within the established constraints of a classroom while challenging the child, is pivotal. Just as the out-of-the-box children should be encouraged to pursue their significant talents within the framework of the classroom, so too should mainstream children be supported in the pursuit of their unique traits. This should be a time of self-exploration for all children.

How does a teacher achieve the proper balance? How does a teacher take a “diamond in the rough,” recognize and encourage differences, and still successfully integrate that child into the classroom? It is a challenging job, and it takes the right personality, intuition, training, and teaching skills to effectively master this undertaking.

Gail McGoogan, Disney Elementary Teacher of the Year, 2003 (American Teacher Award) clearly has a strategy that is innovative, inspiring, and tailor made for her unique students. In my interview with Ms. McGoogan, she was straightforward and direct:

For all my special students who quietly search for a means of expression, our learning environment must expand beyond the four walls of a classroom; it must encompass life’s experiences. For example, if students need to understand what the area in which they live was like in the days of early settlers when all they see now are roads and attractions, become an early settler and canoe on a secluded creek. Design and build a pioneer cabin and sleep out

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under the stars. Sing and dance and share stories around a campfire. If a child needs to connect to society through service, restore yards for needy families. Refurbish a lakefront and share it with the community. Somewhere through these real life experiences a spark will be lit that, in time, will light the way for those quiet, deep thinkers who have yet to glow on their own.

I asked her if the teacher who works hard to promote the distinctiveness of each child requires a less disciplined environment within which to work. She replied, “I am not so certain that the approach to teaching is ‘out of the box,’ but rather using the stability of the box and stretching it to its utmost. I do know that all students learn better when they understand the meaning and purpose of what they are learning.” I think of McGoogan’s philosophy as structure plus: a structured environment that goes hand in hand with the tailormade innovative teaching methods and approaches necessary to reach all students. Some of my children’s most inspiring teachers are those who expected great things from them as students and as people.

Another vitally important characteristic is fairness. Most people have one teacher who changed their lives in some significant way. Ms. Carlino, my algebra teacher, changed mine. She maintained her position of authority in a matter-of-fact way. In the early 1970s, when structure was a concept that was rapidly being abandoned, Ms. Carlino started her class each day with a morning greeting. She would face us and pertly say, “Good morning class,” and we would all respond, “Good morning Ms. Carlino,” and then she would instruct us to be seated. We laughed and snickered the first day, but then we got it. The greeting became second nature, and when it was done, we knew that math class had begun.