I. Pre-reading

1.1. SHARE your recollections of a funny episode connected with meals, especially when you were exposed to some new dish or something like that.

1.2. DISCUSS the correctness of the following maxim: "We are what we eat." Is it really so?

1.3. DEBATE the problem of good nutrition. What do you call by such a name? Share your secrets (if you have any) of keeping your figure as slim as possible.

II. Reading

2.1. Understanding the title.

The title of the story written by Caroline Spring suggests the idea that some mysterious force interfered into daily routine. What do you expect the story to tell about?

2.2. Reading for pleasure and enrichment.

Read the story and answer the question: How and why did Ol' Bones change in the end? The following words will be useful for better understanding of the events.

Marble — hard white rock that becomes smooth when polished

Glacial — formed by huge masses of ice many years ago

Yowl — a long loud cry

Odourous — having a very strong smell

Sermon — religious talk given in church on special occasions

Rust — reddish brown substance that forms on wet metal

Scamper — to run with quick short steps

Gawk — to look at something in a stupid sort of way

Puny — small, thin and weak

Pinch — to press a part of flesh between your finger and thumb

Everybody knew Mr Stone. He was the scariest teacher at Barneyville Elementary. He was tall and skinny as a beanpole and walked like he hated gravity — back straight as a pew in Rev­erend Danley's church. His head was smooth, like polished marble, with pale, icy gray eyes sunk deep into it — the last remaining glacial islands in Mississippi. We figured if he ever smiled, it would crack his face right in two. He was the kind of man who made babies cry just by looking at them. Every soon-to-be fifth grader in Barneyville lived in dread of getting OF Stoney Bones.

When he had playground duty, we'd whisper the jump rope jingles and clap politely, never whistle, when somebody made a home run. Once this kid named Heff, the school bully, let out a yowl as he socked one over the left fielder. The minute he slid into home, OF Stoney carted him off to the principal's office, and Heavy Heff was quiet the rest of the year. We were scared into respect.

That's why none of us was brave enough to say anything about the squirrel. It was summer, and we were dripping sweat from ev­ery pore like human water fountains. A noticeable odorous steam rose from the class. Worst of all, we didn't have air conditioning. Ol' Stoney looked hot and miserable, too. He must have figured some extra oxygen would make us think harder, so he took his book, his chair, and his bag lunch and led us out under a big oak tree in the schoolyard.

The heat didn't stop Stoney from droning on about the Civil War, and we were forced to pinch ourselves awake and away from daydreaming about skinny-dippin' in the pond. About the time General Sherman was tearing through Atlanta, a gray squirrelclimbed down the tree and headed for Stoney's lunch bag, lying on the ground at his feet.

First it stopped, raised its front paws stealthily, and blinked at thirty weird-looking wood growths. Seeing us respectfully rooted to the ground, it went straight for the brown bag. If you've ever unwrapped a butterscotch candy during the preacher's sermon, then you know how much noise that squirrel was making with the bag. The incredible thing is that Stoney was missing it. He just kept plowing through the pages of our fiery history, his head buried in the book.

For the first few minutes, all we saw was a bushy tail, like a mostly eaten wad of gray cotton candy, sticking out of Stoney's lunch. We didn't dare look at each other. One peep, and we'd be goners. When the robber emerged, it had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in its paws. Stoney actually ate peanut butter and jelly? That was almost as amazing as Jimmy Snopp's little brother eating a snail he found in their lettuce patch. Bushy-tail took one look around and ran off with the loot.

Stoney Bones raised his head to look at us. We were as quiet as rust growing on a wheelbarrow and we went cold inside with fear that he'd ask us a question on the lesson. But he didn't. He cleared his throat, crossed his legs, and kept right on reading.

Five minutes hadn't passed when gray-'n-greedy returned. Without stopping to check us, it went straight for the goody bag. Again we heard the rattling, and this time we saw the bag somer­sault back and forth, from one end of Stoney's chair to the other, the gray flag waving outside. We expected any minute to see that squirrel picked up by its back end and toted off to the principal. Maybe Stoney Bones was tricking us. Maybe he was testing us to see how long we'd sit there like cats watching a goldfish. If he was, he never let us know about it. Stoney turned another page. He read something about illegal Confederate booty, and out came the gray thief with a Baby Ruth in its grasp. Stoney Bones ate Baby Ruths?

If you can believe it, that squirrel sat in front of thirty silently watering mouths, peeled the paper, and took a bite of the candy bar. It was almost too much to watch. Half the bar was gone beforewe could blink twice. The little glutton stuffed the other half in its mouth, scampered up the tree, and disappeared into its hole.

A minute later two greedy brown eyes popped back out of the booty burrow. The scoundrel prepared to launch a final attack on the remaining lunch. But before the squirrel got to the bottom of the tree, Mr. Stoney stopped reading and looked at his watch. Without a word, he closed his book and reached down for his bag.

Thirty deep intakes of air sounded at once. We froze. The squirrel froze. Even the oxygen atoms froze. Stoney frowned and knitted his brows. Rocking the puny lunch in one upraised hand, he glared at us.

"AH right", he growled, "which one of you did this?"

Cowardly critter ran back to the safety of its home while we sat gawking at each other, none of us able to say a word.

"All right, then, have it your way. Until my lunch is returned, we don't move from this spot, and if that takes a very long time, then I will have thirty STARVING students."

That's when Amy Patterson started to cry. She had a chocolate cupcake in her lunch and now she wouldn't get to eat it. Some of us tried to make her feel better by telling her the chocolate was prob­ably melted anyway, but tears kept gushing out like the water in those new irrigation ditches. It didn't seem right to make her cry like that, so a group of us got up enough courage to explain what had happened. Stoney promptly lined us up and marched us silently to the principal for not telling him sooner about his lunch.

In the principal's office, we heard a short lecture on common sense and were told to go eat our lunch and behave. We made out all right in the end though. The day after his lunch was stolen, Ol' Stoney brought a new electric fan to our classroom.

2.3. True of false?

1. Mr Stone was famous for his gentle nature.

2. The teacher had quite a speaking name.

3. The very mention of the teacher's name scared kids into respect.

4. The history class had to be moved out because of the heat.

5. Mr Stone was carried away too much to have noticed anything. The children were fascinated by the squirrel.

6. The incident caused severe punishment for some of the kids.

2.4. Points of view.

What did they mean by thinking so?

"We were scared into respect."

"One peep, and we'd be goners."

"Stoney actually ate peanut butter and jelly?"

"Stoney Bones ate Baby Ruths?"

"We were forced to pinch ourselves awake and away from daydreaming..."

"We made out all right in the end."

2.5. Storing vocabulary.

Fill in the gap with the appropriate words from the list below.

1. The pirates loaded their ... on the ship and were gone.

2. If I had known the film would be that... I'd have never gone to watch it!

3. Hey, don't be such a ...! Leave some of this cake for me.

4. The man was ... on about his new project yet nobody was lis­tening.

5. The guard noticed a figure moving ... in the shadows.

6. Having stormed the fortress, the attackers were busy collect­ing their ....

7. The candidate made a ... speech winning everybody's support.

Choose from: scary, booty, to drone, fiery, loot, stealthily, glutton.

2.6. Colloquial English.

The characters of the story speak English with traces of dialect in it. Render the sentences in Queen's English.

1. Ol` Stoney looked hot and miserable too.

2. We figured if he ever smiled it would crack his face in two.

3. We were forced to pinch ourselves awake and away from daydreaming about skinny-dippin' in the pond.

4. Five minutes hadn't passed when gray-'n-greedy returned.

2.7. Studying grammar.

The teacher must have marched his class outside due to the heat. What else could / might / should / would have happened?

1. The squirrel (smell) the tasty things in the lunchbox.

2. The kids (learn) about the Civil War but for the little squirrel.

3. The teacher (notice) the furry thief lest he hadn't been so absorbed.

4. The class (tell) the truth the moment the disappearance was discovered.

5. The principal (laugh) at the whole thing if Mr Stone hadn't been serious.

6. (your variant)

2.8. Why did they do it?

Infinitives are used in English as adverbial modifiers of purpose. Practice this aspect of grammar now with the help of the events of the story.

e.g. Mr Stone raised his head to look at the class.

The squirrel made for the bag ...

The kids sat motionless (not)...

The teacher opened the history book ...

The squirrel ran up the tree...

The teacher reached for his bag ...

The children were taken to the principal...

Mr Stone bought an electric fan ...