It was getting dark, and Sofia seemed anxious to leave. Abraham retreated to his office.

Mordecai and I ate dinner at his desk--the sandwiches I'd brought with the bad coffee he'd

brewed.

The copier was a bulky one of eighties' vintage, free of code panels and the other bells

and whistles favored by my former firm. It sat in a corner of the main room, near one of

the four desks covered with old files.

"What time are you leaving tonight?" I asked Mordecai between bites.

"I don't know. In an hour I guess. Why?"

"Just curious. I'm going back to Drake & Sweeney for a couple of hours, last-minute stuff

they want me to finish. Then I'd like to bring a load of my office junk here, tonight.

Would that be possible?"

He was chewing his food. He reached into a drawer, pulled out a ring with three keys on

it, and tossed it to me. "Come and go as you please," he said.

"Will it be safe?"

"No. So be careful. Park right out there, as close to the door as you can. Walk fast. Then

lock yourself in."

He must have seen the fear in my eyes, because he said, "Get used to it. Be smart."

I walked fast and smart to my car at six-thirty. The sidewalk was empty; no hoodlums, no

gunfire, not a scratch on my Lexus. I felt proud as I unlocked it and drove away. Maybe I

could survive on the streets.

* * *

The drive back to Drake & Sweeney took eleven minutes. If it took thirty minutes to copy

Chance's file, then it would be out of his office for about an hour. Assuming all went well.

And he would never know. I waited until eight, then walked casually down to real estate,

my sleeves rolled up again as if I were hard at work.

The hallways were deserted. I knocked on Chance's door, no answer. It was locked. I then

checked every office, knocking softly at first, then harder, then turning the knob. About

half were locked. Around each comer, I checked for security cameras. I looked in

conference rooms and typing pools. Not a soul.

The key to his door was just like mine, same color and size. It worked perfectly, and I

was suddenly inside a dark office and faced with the decision of whether or not to turn on

the lights. A person driving by couldn't tell which office was suddenly lit, and I doubted

if anyone in the hallway could see a ray of light at the bottom of the door. Plus, it was

very dark, and I didn't have a flashlight. I locked the door, turned on the lights, went

straight to the file drawer under the window, and unlocked it with the second key. On my

knees, I quietly pulled the drawer out.

There were dozens of files, all relating to RiverOaks, all arranged neatly according to

some method. Chance and his secretary were well organized, a trait our firm cherished. A

thick one was labeled RiverOaks/TAG, Inc. I gently removed it, and began to flip

through it. I wanted to make sure it was the right file.

A male voice yelled "Hey!" in the hallway, and I jumped out of my skin.

Another male voice answered from a few doors down, and the two struck up a

conversation somewhere very near Chance's door. Basketball talk. Bullets and Knicks.

With rubbery knees, I walked to the door. I turned off the lights, listening to their talk.

Then I sat on Braden's fine leather sofa for ten minutes. If I was seen leaving the office

empty-handed, nothing would be done. Tomorrow was my last day anyway. Of course I

wouldn't have the file either.

What if someone spotted me leaving with the file? If they confronted me, I would be

dead.

I pondered the situation furiously, getting caught in every scenario. Be patient, I kept

telling myself. They'll go away. Basketball was followed by girls, neither sounded

married, probably a couple of derks from Georgetown's law school, working nights. Their

voices soon faded.

I locked the drawer in the dark and took the file. Five minutes, six, seven, eight. I quietly

opened the door, slowly placed my head in the crack, and looked up and down the hall.

No one. I scooted out, past Hector's desk, and headed for the reception area, walking

briskly while trying to appear casual.

"Hey!" someone yelled from behind. I turned a corner, and glanced back just quickly

enough to see a guy coming after me. The nearest door was to a small library. I ducked

inside; luckily it was dark. I moved between tiers of books until I found another door on

the other side. I opened it, and at the end of a short hallway I saw an exit sign above a

door. I ran through it. Figuring I could run faster down the stairs than up them, I bounded

down, even though my office was two floors above. If by chance he recognized me, he

might go there looking for me.

I emerged on the ground floor, out of breath, without a coat, not wanting to be seen by

anyone, especially the security person guarding the elevators to keep out any more street

people. I went to a side exit, the same one Polly and I had used to avoid the reporters the

night Mister got shot. It was freezing and a light rain was falling as I ran to my car.

* * *

The thoughts of a bungling first-time thief. It was a stupid thing to do. Very stupid. Did I

get caught? No one saw me leave Chance's office. No one knew I had a file that wasn't

mine.

I shouldn't have run. When he yelled, I should're stopped, chatted him up, acted as if

everything were fine, and if he wanted to see the file, I'd rebuke him and send him away.

He was probably just one of the lowly clerks I had heard earlier.

But why had he yelled like that? If he didn't know me, why was he trying to stop me from

the other end of the hallway? I drove onto Massachusetts, in a hurry to get the copying

done and somehow get the file back where it belonged. I had pulled all-nighters before,

and if I had to wait until 3 A.M. to sneak back to Chance's office, then I would do so.

I relaxed a little. The heater was blowing at full speed.

There was no way to know that a drug bust had gone bad, a cop had been shot, a Jaguar

owned by a dealer was speeding down Eighteenth Street. I had the green light on New

Hampshire, but the boys who shot the cop weren't concerned with the rules of the road.

The Jaguar was a blur to my left, then the air bag exploded in my face.

When I came to, the driver's door was pinching my left shoulder. Black faces were

staring in at me through the shattered window. I heard sirens, then drifted away again.

One of the paramedics unlatched my seat belt, and they pulled me over the console and

through the passenger door. "I don't see any blood," someone said.

"Can you walk?" a paramedic asked. My shoulder and ribs were hurting. I tried to stand,

but my legs wouldn't work.

"I'm okay," I said, sitting on the edge of a stretcher. There was a racket behind me, but I

couldn't turn around. They strapped me down, and as I entered the ambulance I saw the

Jaguar, upside down and surrounded by cops and medics.

I kept saying, "I'm okay, I'm okay," as they checked my blood pressure. We were moving;

the siren faded.

They took me to the emergency room at George Washington University Medical Center.

X-rays revealed no breaks of any type. I was bruised and in terrible pain. They filled me

with painkillers and rolled me up to a private room.

I awoke sometime in the night. Claire was sleeping in a chair next to my bed.

________________________________________________________________

Fifteen

She left before dawn. A sweet note on the table told me that she had to make her rounds,

and that she would return mid-morning. She had talked to my doctors, and it was likely

that I would not die.

We seemed perfectly normal and happy, a cute couple devoted to each other. I drifted off

wondering why, exactly, we were going through the process of a divorce.

A nurse woke me at seven and handed me the note. I read it again as she rattled on about

the weather--sleet and snow--and took my blood pressure. I asked her for a newspaper.

She brought it thirty minutes later with my cereal. The story was front page, Metro. The

narc was shot several times in a gun battle; his condition was critical. He'd killed one

dealer. The second dealer was the Jaguar driver, who died at the scene of the crash under

circumstances still to be investigated. I was not mentioned, which was fine.

Had I not been involved, the story would have been an everyday shootout between cops

and crack dealers, ignored and unread by me. Welcome to the streets. I tried to convince

myself it could've happened to any D.C. professional, but it was a hard sell. To be in that

part of town after dark was to ask for trouble.

My upper left arm was swollen and already turning blue--the left shoulder and collarbone

stiff and tender to the touch. My ribs were sore to the point of keeping me perfectly still.

They hurt only when I breathed. I made it to the bathroom where I relieved myself and

looked at my face. An air bag is a small bomb. The impact stuns the face and chest. But

the damage was minimal: slightly swollen nose and eyes, an upper lip that had a new

shape. Nothing that wouldn't disappear over the weekend.

The nurse was back with more pills. I made her identify each one, then I said no to the

entire collection. They were for pain and stiffness, and I wanted a clear head. The doc

popped in at seven-thirty for a quick going-over. With nothing broken or tipped, my

hours as a patient were numbered. He suggested another round of X-rays, to be safe. I

tried to say no, but he had already discussed file matter with my wife.

So I limped around my room for an eternity, testing my wounded body parts, watching

the morning newsbabble, hoping no one I knew would suddenly enter and see me in my

yellow paisley gown.

* * *

Finding a wrecked car in the District is a baffling chore, especially when initiated so soon

after the accident. I started with the phone book, my only source, and half the numbers in

Traffic went unanswered. The other half were answered with great indifference. It was

early, the weather was bad. It was Friday, why get involved?

Most wrecked cars were taken to a city lot on Rasco Road, up in Northeast. I learned this

from a secretary at the Central Precinct. She worked in Animal Control; I was dialing

police extensions at random. Other cars were sometimes taken to other lots, and there was

a good chance mine could still be attached to the wrecker. The wreckers were privately

owned, she explained, and this had always caused trouble. She once worked in Traffic,

but hated it over there.

I thought of Mordecai, my new source for all information related to the street. I waited

until nine to call him. I told him the story, assured him I was in great shape in spite of being in a hospital, and asked him if he knew how to find a wrecked car. He had some

ideas.

I called Polly with the same story.

"You're not coming in?" she asked, her voice faltering. "I'm in the hospital, Polly. Are

you listening to me?" There was hesitation on her end, confirming what I feared. I could

envision a cake with a punch bowl next to it, probably in a conference room, on the table,

with fifty people standing around it proposing toasts and making short speeches about

how wonderful I was. I had been to a couple of those parties myself. They were awful. I

was determined to avoid my own send-off.

"When are you getting out?" she asked.

"Don't know. Maybe tomorrow." It was a lie; I was leaving before noon, with or without

my medical team's approval.

More hesitation. The cake, the punch, the important speeches from busy people, maybe

even a gift or two. How would she handle it?

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Me too. Is anybody looking for me?"

"No. Not yet."

"Good. Please tell Rudolph about the accident, and I'll call him later. Gotta go. They want

more tests."

* * *

And so my once promising career at Drake & Sweeney sputtered to an end. I skipped my

own retirement party. At the age of thirty-two I was freed from the shackles of corporate

servitude, and the money. I was left to follow my conscience. I would've felt great if not

for the knife sticking through my ribs every time I moved.

Claire arrived after eleven. She huddled with my doctor in the hall. I could hear them out

there, speaking their language. They stepped into my room, jointly announced my release,

and I changed into clean clothes she had brought from home. She drove me there, a short

trip during which little was said. There was no chance at reconciliation. Why should a

simple car wreck change anything? She was there as a friend and a doctor, not a wife.

She fixed tomato soup and tucked me into the sofa. She lined up my pills on the kitchen

counter, gave me my instructions, and left.

I was still for ten minutes, long enough to eat half the soup and a few of the saltines, then

I was on the phone. Mordecai had found nothing.

Working from the classifieds, I began calling Realtors and apartment locating services.

Then I called for a sedan from a car service. I took a long, hot shower to loosen my

bruised body.

My driver was Leon. I sat in the front with him, trying not to grimace and groan with

each pothole he hit.

I couldn't afford a nice apartment, but at the least I wanted one that was safe. Leon had

some ideas. We stopped at a newsstand and I picked up two free brochures on District

real estate.

In Leon's opinion, a good place to live right now, but this could change in six months, he

warned me, was Adams-Morgan, north of Dupont Circle. It was a wellknown district, one

I had been through many times, never with any desire to stop and browse. The streets

were lined with turn-of-the-century rowhouses, all of which were still inhabited, which,

in D.C., meant a vibrant neighborhood. The bars and clubs were hot at the moment,

according to Leon, and the best new restaurants were there. The seedy sections were just

around the corner, and of course one had to be extremely careful. If important people like

senators got themselves mugged on Capitol Hill, then no one was safe.

Driving toward Adams-Morgan, Leon was suddenly confronted with a pothole larger

than his car. We bounced through it, getting airborne for what seemed to be ten seconds,

then landing very hard. I couldn't help but scream as the entire left side of my torso

collapsed in pain.

Leon was horrified. I had to tell him the truth, where I'd slept last night. He slowed down

considerably, and became my Realtor. He helped me up the stairs at my first prospect, a

run-down flat With the unmistakable smell of cat urine emanating from the carpet. In no

uncertain terms, Leon told the landlord she should be ashamed showing the place in such

condition.

The second stop was a loft five floors above the street, and I almost didn't make it up the

stairs. No elevator. And not much heating. Leon politely thanked the manager.

The next loft was four floors up, but with a nice, clean elevator. The rowhouse was on

Wyoming, a pretty shaded street just off Connecticut. The rent was five hundred and fifty

a month, and I had already said yes before I saw the place. I was sinking fast, thinking

more and more about the pain pills I'd left on the counter, and ready to rent anything.

Three tiny rooms in an attic with sloping ceilings, a bathroom with plumbing that seemed

to be working, clean floors, and something of a view over the street.

"We'll take it," Leon said to the landlord. I was leaning on a door frame, ready to collapse.

In a small office in the basement, I hurriedly read the lease, signed it, and wrote a check

for the deposit and first month's rent.

I'd told Claire I'd be out by the weekend. I was determined to make it happen.

If Leon was curious about my move from the swankiness of Georgetown to a three-room

pigeonhole in Adams-Morgan, he didn't ask. He was too much of a professional. He

returned me to our apartment, and he waited in the car while I swallowed my pills and

took a quick nap.

* * *

A phone was ringing somewhere in the midst of my chemical-induced fog. I stumbled

forth, found it, managed to say, "Hello." Rudolph said, "Thought you were in the

hospital." I heard his voice, and recognized it, but the fog was still clearing. "I was," I

said, thick-tongued. "Now I'm not. What do you want?"

"We missed you this afternoon."

Ah yes. The punch and cake show. "I didn't plan to be in a car wreck, Rudolph. Please

forgive me."

"A lot of people wanted to say good-bye."

"They can drop me a line. Tell them to just fax it over."

"You feel lousy, don't you?"

"Yes, Rudolph. I feel like I've just been hit by a car."

"Are you on medication?"

"Why do you care?"

"Sorry. Look, Braden Chance was in my office an hour ago. He's quite anxious to see you.

Odd, don't you think?"

The fog lifted and my head was much clearer. "See me about what?"

"He wouldn't say. But he's looking for you."

"Tell him I've left."

"I did. Sorry to bother you. Stop by if you get a minute. You still have friends here."

"Thanks, Rudolph."