6D. Solo Shifts

• One person gets up in front of the class. Choose either one, two, or three minutes within which you will perform the "shift" process. No director tells you when to shift, the choices are up to you. Do what feels right.

• Students in the audience pass along a watch taking turns being timer. After the designated period, the timer says, "Stop." There's no discussion between the solos. When they are all complete, students share their experiences with one another.

Performance

Not everyone in these training groups is interested in performance. At least, not in the beginning. Often when Solo Shifts is announced, a shud­der of terror passes through the room.

Speaking in public is a common fear in just about all cultures. And Solo Shifts isn't just speaking. It's moving, too, and making sounds from the throat, from the body, from inside. But even beyond that, students present their vulnerability—their feelings.

After Empty Vessel, students are primed for a solo flight. They have been "shifted" by the messengers. The experience of radically chang­ing from one mind set to another is in their bodies. They know what it feels like. They've experienced the cues embedded in the approxima­tions. They're greased and ready to roll. The only problem is their thoughts.

I was eighth in line, I was glad I wasn't first and glad I wasn't the last either. I don't think I could have withstood the waiting and planning and then trying not to plan. As I watched the first seven solos, I saw many things that I was not going to do. And I thought about a few things that I was going to do. Like be calm. And simple. And direct myself to the audience. But when my turn came, and I stood up in front of the others for the first time, all of my plans vanished. I don't even remember breathing. I pretty much lost consciousness. I mean, I was conscious, but hysterical at the same time. Out of control Out of my body. Thinking all the time and not getting anywhere. What should I do? Noiv, I under­stand rabbits when they freeze in front of oncoming headlights. After forever, my time was up. I sat down feeling flushed and ashamed. I looked straight ahead. It wasn't until the next person was into their solo that I came back into my body and into the room.

Performance has many meanings, but the meanings take on new intensity when in front of a group. The experience enlarges. There's more at stake, or so we think. The performer is likely to be concerned with self-image and how others see them. "Am I doing this correctly?" "Will I have enough time to develop an idea?" "Will people think I'm good, or hopelessly inept?"

Those initially not interested in performance, begin to see it as more than what they thought it was. The freeing situation of it becomes a chal­lenge in its own right—a metaphor for all the difficulties in life, all detours to inner stability, all "no's" ever encountered, and all moments of self-doubt.

Ruts

"I'm so tired of myself."

"I keep doing the same things."

"How do I get out of this rut of repetition?"

If a familiar quality of action, feeling, or even character continually pre­sents itself to you, there's a reason. More than likely, you've not fully expe­rienced it. A part of you stays in reserve, holds back, is afraid. The next time the familiar condition appears, approach it with detailed interest. Examine it. Then, give yourself wholeheartedly to the expression of the details. No holds barred. You will see that: 1) the experience is not what you expected, and 2) the condition will never reappear the same way again.

Thea had been trained as a dancer. She had a very specific style to her movements. In fact, the same movements appeared over and over again no matter what the context. As she became more aware of her patterns, she became very frustrated. She was at a loss as to how to go beyond them. Standing in front of the class, she ivas asked to execute a familiar move. When she did, everyone laughed, including her, probably from relief. That move was finally out in the open and identified. She was asked to execute the movement again and notice a particular detail about it. She was instructed to change the tension of the detail and play with it. Follow it along. Connect to the movement with feeling. This event gave Thea clues to the physical freedom which only lies in each moment.