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Chapter 4: Writing Business Messages

87

TABLE 4.3 Choosing Active or Passive Voice

In general, avoid passive voice to make your writing lively and direct.
Dull and Indirect in Passive Voice	Lively and Direct in Active Voice
The new procedure was developed by the operations team.	The operations team developed the new procedure.
Legal problems are created by this contract.	This contract creates legal problems.
Reception preparations have been undertaken by our PR people for	Our PR people have begun planning a reception for the new CEO.
the new CEO’s arrival.

However, passive voice is helpful when you need to be diplomatic or want to focus attention on problems or solutions rather than on people.

Accusatory or Self-Congratulatory in Active Voice	More Diplomatic in Passive Voice
You lost the shipment.	The shipment was lost.
I recruited seven engineers last month.	Seven engineers were recruited last month.
We are investigating the high rate of failures on the final	The high rate of failures on the final assembly line is being
assembly line.	investigated.

The second half of Table 4.3 illustrates several situations in which the passive voice helps you focus your message on your audience.

Composing Your Message: Choosing Powerful Words

After you have decided how to adapt to your audience, you’re ready to begin composing your message. As you write your first draft, let your creativity flow. Don’t try to draft and edit at the same time, and don’t worry about getting everything perfect. Make up words if you can’t think of the right ones, draw pictures, or talk out loud—do whatever it takes to get the ideas out of your head and onto your computer screen or a piece of paper. If you’ve planned carefully, you’ll have time to revise and refine the material later, before showing it to anyone. In fact, many writers find it helpful to establish a personal rule of never showing a first draft to anyone. By working in this “safe zone,” away from the critical eyes of others, your mind will stay free to think clearly and creatively.

You may find it helpful to hone your craft by viewing your writing at three levels: strong words, effective sentences, and coherent paragraphs. Starting at the word level, successful writers pay close attention to the correct use of words.11 If you make errors of grammar or usage, you lose credibility with your audience—even if your message is otherwise correct. Poor grammar suggests to readers that you lack professionalism, and they may choose not to trust you as an unprofessional source. Moreover, poor grammar may imply that you don’t respect your audience enough to get things right.

The rules of grammar and usage can be a source of worry for writers because some of these rules are complex and some evolve over time. Even professional editors and grammarians occasionally have questions about correct usage, and they

sometimes disagree about the answers. For example, the word data is the plural form of datum, yet some experts now prefer to treat data as a singular noun when it’s used in nonscientific material to refer to a body of facts or figures.

With practice, you’ll become more skilled in making correct choices over time. If you have doubts about what is correct, you have many ways to find the answer. Check the Handbook of Grammar, Mechanics, and Usage at the end of this book, or consult the many special reference books and resources available in libraries, in bookstores, and on the Internet.

4 LEARNING OBJECTIVE

Describe how to select words that are not only correct but also effective.

Correctness is the first consideration when choosing words.

88 Unit 2: The Three-Step Writing Process

In many cases, global

Two Sides of the Story

is an absolute term

and doesn’t benefit

Growing interest in the global acceptance of a single set of

robust

accounting standards

from a modifier such

comes from all participants in the capital markets. Many multinational

companies and national

as truly. However,

regulators and users support it because they believe that the use of common standards in the

economic globalization

preparation of public company financial statements will make it easier to compare the financial

is occurring in stages, so

results of reporting entities from different countries.They believe it will help investors

truly here suggests the

understand opportunities better. Large public companies with subsidiaries in multiple

point at which

jurisdictions would be able to use one accounting language company-wide and present their

globalization

financial statements in the same language as their competitors.

is nearly complete.

Another benefit some believe is that in a

truly

global economy, financial professionals

will more easily be able to respond to the

including CPAs will be more mobile, and companies

human capital needs of their subsidiaries around the world.

Nevertheless, many people also believe that U.S. GAAP is the

gold standard,

and something

will be lost with full acceptance of IFRS. However, recent SEC actions and global

trends have

increased awareness of the need to address possible adoption. According to a survey conducted

in the first half of 2008 by Deloitte & Touche among chief financial officers and other financial

professionals, U.S. companies have an interest in adopting IFRS and this interest is steadily

growing.Thirty percent would consider adopting IFRS now, another 28 percent are unsure or do

not have sufficient knowledge to decide, while 42 percent said they would not. Still, an AICPA

survey conducted in Fall 2008 among its CPA members shows a significant and positive

shift in

the number of firms and companies that are starting to prepare

IFRS.A

for eventual adoption of

Claim is a powerful

55 percent majority of CPAs at firms and companies nationwide said they are preparing in a

word here because it

variety of ways for IFRS adoption, an increase of 14 percentage points over the 41 percent who

suggests a strong

were preparing for change, according to an April 2008 AICPA survey.

element of doubt.

Another concern is that worldwide many countries that

claim

to be converging to

international standards may never get 100 percent compliance.

Most reserve the right to

carve out

selectively or modify standards they do not consider in their national interest, an action

that could

lead to incompatibility—the very issue that IFRS seek to address.

		GAAP and IFRS, Still Differences
The diplomatic use of			Great strides have been made	by the FASB and the IASB to converge the content of IFRS
		and U.S. GAAP. The goal is that by the time the SEC allows or mandates the use of IFRS for U.S.
passive voice keeps
		publicly traded companies, most or all of the key differences			will have been resolved.
the focus on the issue
			Because of these ongoing convergence projects, the extent of the specific differences
at hand, rather than
on the organizations		between IFRS and U.S. GAAP is shrinking.Yet significant differences do remain. For example:
that are involved.			ss )&23)DOES NOT PERmit Last In First Out (LIFO) as an inventory costing method.
			ss )&23)USES A SINGLE STEP METHODIfor impairment write-downs rather than the two-step
			method used in U.S. GAAP, making write-downs more likely.
			ss )&23)HAS2A3DIfferent probability threshold and measurement objective for contingencies.
			ss )&23)DOES NOT PERmit curing debt covenant violations after year-end.
			ss )&23)GUIDANCE REGARDING REVenue recognition is less extensive than GAAP and contains
			relatively little industry-specific instructions.

5

Figure 4.4 Choosing Powerful Words

Notice how careful word choices help this excerpt from a report published by the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants make a number of important points. The tone is formal, which is appropriate for a report with global, public readership. (GAAP refers to accounting standards currently used in the United States; IFRS refers to international standards.)

Source: American Institute of Certified Public Accountants Report. Copyright © 2012 by AICPA. Reprinted with permission.

Robust goes beyond simply strong to suggest resilient and comprehensive as well.

Gold standard (a term borrowed from economics) refers to something against which all similar entities are

compared, an unsurpassed model of excellence.

In the context of a survey significant means more than just important; it indicates a statistical observation that is large enough to be more than mere chance. Positive indicates the direction of the change and suggests affirmation and progress.

Carve out is much stronger than remove because it could suggest surgical precision if done well or perhaps violent destruction if not done with finesse.

In this context, carve out is meant to express a concern about countries

weakening the international financial standards by modifying them to meet their own needs.

Effectiveness is the second consideration when choosing words.

In addition to using words correctly, successful writers and speakers take care to use the most effective words and phrases. Selecting and using words effectively is often more challenging than using words correctly because doing so is a matter of judgment and experience. Careful writers continue to work at their craft to find words that communicate with power (see Figure 4.4).

The more abstract a word is, the more it is removed from the tangible, objective world of things that can be perceived with the senses.

Balancing Abstract and Concrete Words

The nouns in your business messages can vary dramatically in their degree of abstraction or concreteness. An abstract word expresses a concept, quality, or characteristic. Abstractions are usually broad, encompassing a category of ideas, and are often intellectual, academic, or philosophical. Love, honor, progress, tradition, and beauty are abstractions, as are such

Chapter 4: Writing Business Messages

89

important business concepts as productivity, profits, quality, and motivation. In contrast, a concrete word stands for something you can touch, see, or visualize. Most concrete terms are anchored in the tangible, material world. Chair, table, horse, rose, kick, kiss, red, green, and two are concrete words; they are direct, clear, and exact. Incidentally, technology continues to generate new words and new meanings that describe things that don’t have a physical presence but are nonetheless concrete. For example, software, database, and website are all concrete terms as well.

As you can imagine, abstractions tend to cause more trouble for writers and readers than concrete words. Abstractions tend to be “fuzzy” and can be interpreted differently, depending on the audience and the circumstances. Readers also perceive concrete language as more trustworthy.12 To minimize problems when using abstractions, try to balance abstract terms with concrete ones, the general with the specific. State the concept and then pin it down with details expressed in more concrete terms. Save the abstractions for ideas that cannot be expressed any other way. In addition, abstract words such as small, numerous, sizable, near, soon, good, and fine are imprecise and relative, so try to replace them with terms that are more accurate and precise. Instead of referring to a sizable loss, give an exact number.

Finding Words That Communicate Well

When you compose business messages, look for the most powerful words for each situation (see Table 4.4 on the next page):

■Choose strong, precise words. Choose words that express your thoughts clearly, specifically, and strongly. If you find yourself using many adjectives and adverbs, chances are you’re trying to compensate for weak nouns and verbs. Saying that sales plummeted is stronger and more efficient than saying sales dropped dramatically or sales experienced a dramatic drop.

■Choose familiar words. You’ll communicate best with words that are familiar to both you and your readers. Moreover, trying to use unfamiliar words can lead to embarrassing mistakes.

■Avoid clichés and use buzzwords carefully. Although familiar words are generally the best choice, avoid clichés—terms and phrases so common that they have lost some of their power to communicate. Buzzwords, newly coined terms often associated with technology, business, or cultural changes, are more difficult to handle than clichés be-

cause in small doses and in the right situations, they can be useful. The careful use of a buzzword can signal that you’re an insider, someone in the know.13 However, buzzwords quickly become clichés, and using them too late in their “life cycle” can mark you as an outsider desperately trying to look like an insider.

■Use jargon carefully. Jargon, the specialized language of a particular profession or industry, has a bad reputation, but it’s not always bad. Using jargon is usually an efficient way to communicate within the specific groups that understand these terms. After all, that’s how jargon develops in the first place, as people with similar interests develop ways to communicate complex ideas quickly.

If you need help finding the right words, try some of the visual dictionaries and thesauruses available online (see Figure 4.5 on page 91).

Try to use words that are powerful and familiar.

Avoid clichés, be extremely careful with trendy buzzwords, and use jargon only when your audience is completely familiar with it.

Composing Your Message: Creating Effective Sentences

Arranging your carefully chosen words in effective sentences is the next step in creating successful messages. Start by selecting the best type of sentence to communicate each point you want to make.

Choosing from the Four Types of Sentences

5 LEARNING OBJECTIVE

Define the four types of sentences, and explain how sentence style affects emphasis within a message.

Sentences come in four basic varieties: simple, compound, complex, and compoundcomplex. A simple sentence has one main clause (a single subject and a single predicate), although it may be expanded by nouns and pronouns serving as objects of the action and by

A simple sentence has one main clause.

90 Unit 2: The Three-Step Writing Process

TABLE 4.4 Selected Examples of Finding Powerful Words

Potentially Weak	Stronger Alternatives
Words	(effective usage depends	Clichés and
and Phrases	on the situation)	Buzzwords	Plain Language

Increase (as a verb)	Accelerate, amplify, augment,
	nlarge, escalate, expand, extend,
	magnify, multiply, soar, swell
Decrease (as a verb)	Curb, cut back, depreciate,
	dwindle, shrink, slacken
Large, small	(use a specific number, such as
	$100 million)
Good	Admirable, beneficial, desirable,
	flawless,
	pleasant, sound, superior, worthy
Bad	Abysmal, corrupt, deficient,
	flawed, inadequate, inferior, poor,
	substandard, worthless
We are committed to	We provide . . .
providing . . .
It is in our best interest	We should . . .
to . . .
Unfamiliar Words	Familiar Words
Ascertain	Find out, learn
Consummate	Close, bring about
Peruse	Read, study
Circumvent	Avoid
Unequivocal	Certain

An uphill battle	A challenge
Writing on the wall	Prediction
Call the shots	Lead
Take by storm	Attack
Costs an arm and a leg	Expensive
A new ballgame	Fresh start
Fall through the cracks	Be overlooked
Think outside the box	Be creative
Run it up the flagpole	Find out what people
	think about it
Eat our own dog food	Use our own products
Mission-critical	Vital
Disintermediate	Get rid of
Green light (as a verb)	Approve
Architect (as a verb)	Design
Space (as in, “we compete	Market or industry
in the XYZ space”)
Blocking and tackling	Basic skills
Trying to boil the ocean	Working frantically but
	without focus
Human capital	People, employees, workforce
Low-hanging fruit	Tasks that are easy to
	complete or sales that are
	easy to close

Pushback

Resistance

A compound sentence has two main clauses.

modifying phrases. Consider this example (with the subject underlined once and the predicate verb underlined twice):

Profits increased 35 percent in the past year.

A compound sentence has two main clauses that express two or more independent but related thoughts of equal importance, usually joined by and, but, or or. In effect, a compound sentence is a merger of two or more simple sentences (independent clauses) that are related. For example:

Wages declined by 5 percent, and employee turnover has been higher than ever.

A complex sentence has one main clause and one subordinate clause.

The independent clauses in a compound sentence are always separated by a comma or by a semicolon (in which case the conjunction—and, but, or or—is dropped).

A complex sentence expresses one main thought (the independent clause) and one or more subordinate thoughts (dependent clauses) related to it, often separated by a comma.

Chapter 4: Writing Business Messages		91

Figure 4.5 Online Tools for Finding Fresh Word Choices

Visual tools such as Visuwords (www.visuwords.com) can help you find the perfect word to express a thought exactly and concisely.

Source: Copyright © 2012 by Logical Octopus, ww.logicaloctopus.com. Reprinted with permission.

The subordinate thought, which comes first in the following sentence, could not stand alone:

Although you may question Gerald’s conclusions, you must admit that his research is thorough.

A compound-complex sentence has two main clauses, at least one of which contains a subordinate clause:

A compound-complex sentence has two main clauses and at least one dependent clause.

Profits increased 35 percent in the past year, so although the company faces long-	Maintain some variety among the
	four sentence types to keep your
term challenges, I agree that its short-term prospects look quite positive.	writing from getting choppy (too
To make your writing as effective as possible, strive for	many short, simple sentences) or ex-
	hausting (too many long sentences).

variety and balance using all four sentence types. If you use
too many simple sentences, you won’t be able to properly ex-	REAL-TIME UPDATES
press the relationships among your ideas, and your writing	Learn More by Reading This Article
will sound choppy and abrupt. At the other extreme, a long
series of compound, complex, or compound-complex sen-
	Eighteen online resources that can improve
tences can be tiring to read.	your writing

Using Sentence Style to Emphasize Key Thoughts

In every message, some ideas are more important than others. You can emphasize key ideas through your sentence style. One obvious technique is to give important points the

Use these websites, blogs, and interactive tools to make your writing precise, lively, and more effective. Go to http://real-timeupdates.com/bce6 and click on Learn More. If you are using MyBCommLab, you can access Real-Time Updates within each chapter or under Student Study Tools.