I stared at him, waiting… "Okay. What's the punch line?"

"Oh," Alice said, then soundly laughed.

"What?" Edward asked. Alice was again thinking of something insubstantial to prevent him from knowing what she was thinking.

"You'll see," Alice said, still laughing.

He sighed. "You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke."

"Well, it wasn't a very good proposal," Esme snapped, looking annoyed and a little sad that Bella didn't say yes right away.

"Edward, please be serious."

"I am one hundred percent serious." He gazed at me with no hint of humor in his face.

"Oh, c'mon," I said, an edge of hysteria in my voice. "I'm only eighteen."

"Well, I'm nearly a hundred and ten. It's time I settled down."

"It most certainly is," Edward smiled.

I looked away, out the dark window, trying to control the panic before it gave me away.

"Look, marriage isn't exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know? It was sort of the kiss of death for Renee and Charlie."

At this Emmett and Alice laughed.

"Oh," Edward said. "Of course she would have to be adverse to marriage."

"And more so than the average person, too," Alice laughed.

"Interesting choice of words."

"You know what I mean."

He inhaled deeply. "Please don't tell me that you're afraid of the commitment," his voice was disbelieving, and I understood what he meant.

"That's not it exactly," I hedged. "I'm…afraid of Renee. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before you're thirty."

"And it looks like Bella has them too," Edward sighed. "But I really want to marry her."

"Because she'd rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married." He laughed darkly.

"Obviously," Emmett laughed.

"You think you're joking."

"Bella, if you compare the level of commitment between a marital union as opposed to bartering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire…" He shook his head. "If you're not brave enough to marry me, then –"

"Well," I interrupted. "What if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?"

"Come on...I've already seen how adverse you are to this, do you think so little of me to fall for that?" Edward smiled.

He smiled, his teeth flashing in the dark. "Sure," he said, calling my bluff. "I'll get my car."

"Dammit." I muttered. "I'll give you eighteen months."

"No deal," he said, grinning. "I like this condition."

"Fine. I'll have Carlisle do it when I graduate."

"If that's what you really want." He shrugged, and his smile became absolutely angelic.

"You're impossible," I groaned. "A monster."

He chuckled. "Is that why you won't marry me?"

I groaned again.

He leaned toward me; his night-dark eyes melted and smoldered and shattered my concentration. "Please, Bella?" he breathed.

"You are such a cheater," Emmett said, though for once it didn't look like that statement bothered him.

"So," Edward shrugged his shoulders, smiling.

I forgot how to breathe for a moment. When I recovered, I shook my head quickly, trying to clear my suddenly clouded mind.

"Would this have gone better if I d had time to get a ring.'"

"Get a ring," Edward said.

"Are you going to get one now?" Esme asked excitedly.

"That's not exactly what I was thinking," Edward said. "I was thinking more that perhaps I could give her my mother's..."

"That would be perfect," Esme exclaim, beaming at him. "I'm sure she'll love it."

"If she ever agrees to marry me," Edward sighed.

"She will. Don't worry," Esme beamed.

"No! No rings!" I very nearly shouted.

"Now you've done it," he whispered.

"Oops."

"Charlie's getting up; I'd better leave," Edward said with resignation.

My heart stopped beating.

He gauged my expression for a second. "Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?"

"No," I whispered eagerly. "Stay. Please."

Edward smiled and disappeared.

I seethed in the darkness as I waited for Charlie to check on me. Edward knew exactly what he was doing, and I was willing to bet that all the injured surprise was part of the ploy. Of course, I still had the Carlisle option, but now that I knew there was a chance that Edward would change me himself, I wanted it bad. He was such a cheater.

"My sentiment exactly," Emmett said.

"I have to use what I've got," Edward smirked..

My door cracked open.

"Morning, Dad."

"Oh, hey, Bella." He sounded embarrassed at getting caught. "I didn't know you were awake."

"Yeah. I've just been waiting for you to wake up so I could take a shower." I started to get up.

"Hold on," Charlie said, flipping the light on. I blinked in the sudden brightness, and carefully kept my eyes away from the closet. "Let's talk for a minute first."

I couldn't control my grimace. I'd forgotten to ask Alice for a good excuse.

"You know you're in trouble."

"Yeah, I know."

"I just about went crazy these last three days. I come home from Harry's funeral, and you're gone. Jacob could only tell me that you'd run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble. You didn't leave me a number, and you didn't call. I didn't know where you were or when – or if – you were coming back. Do you have any idea how… how…" He couldn't finish the sentence. He sucked in a sharp breath and moved on. "Can you give me one reason why I shouldn't ship you off to Jacksonville this second?"

"Oh, he just challenged her," Emmett smiled in anticipation.

My eyes narrowed. So it was going to be threats, was it? Two could play at that game. I sat up, pulling the quilt around me. "Because I won't go."

"Now just one minute, young lady –"

"Look, Dad, I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think I've learned my lesson. And I guess you're within your rights if you want to kick me out, too – but that won't make me to go to Florida."

"Yeah, she'll just come and live with us," Emmett said. "Then she could become a vampire right away."

His face turned bright red. He took a few deep breaths before he answered.

"Would you like to explain where you've been?"

Oh, crap. "There was… an emergency."

He raised his eyebrows in expectation of my brilliant explanation.

I filled my cheeks with air and then blew it out noisily. "I don't know what to tell you, Dad.

It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand."

He waited with a distrustful expression.

"See, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff…"

"Oh, dear," Esme gasped at that same time that Emmett burst into his booming laughter.

"She shouldn't have said that," Edward laughed.

"At least it will be a believable excuse now," Alice said, laughing too.

I was scrambling frantically to make this work, to keep it as close to the truth as possible so that my inability to lie convincingly would not undermine the excuse, but before I could go on, Charlie's expression reminded me that he didn't know anything about the cliff.

Major oops. As if I wasn't already toast.

"I guess I didn't tell you about that," I choked out. "It was nothing. Just messing around, swimming with Jake. Anyway, Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset. She sort of accidentally made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something. He wouldn't answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to… L.A., to explain in person." I shrugged, desperately hoping that he would not be so distracted by my slip that he'd miss the brilliant explanation I'd provided.

"It was quite believable after all," Emmett said.

"And pretty close to the truth too," Alice agreed.

Charlie's face was frozen. "Were you trying to kill yourself, Bella?"

"No, of course not. Just having fun with Jake. Cliff diving. The La Push kids do it all the time. Like I said, nothing."

Charlie's face heated up – from frozen to hot with fury. "What's it to Edward Cullen anyway?" he barked. "All this time, he's just left you dangling without a word –"