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progress. At one point, he even asked her advice about dealing with one of her more loyal customers who was unhappy with the change of reps. She offered to make a sales call with him to help smooth the customer’s anxieties. He accepted. The call went smoothly. Afterward, he bought her lunch and thanked her for her efforts. Away from the group, she found him perfectly acceptable and, at times, even nice. They’d never be close, but it was obvious they could work together.

Her efforts didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the team. Gradually, they started speaking to her more cordially: a simple “how are ya” in the morning without the usual bravado, an occasional sharing of information and, in general, a more relaxed atmosphere at office meetings. Unfortunately, the sales rep’s strategy only half worked. In the process of gaining greater acceptance from team members, she lost some momentum. Her numbers never reached the same peak levels again. She can’t figure out whether the problem is related to her territory or the fact that she lost her drive to show the guys up.

Office politics are about power and competition. Making them work for you—rather than against you—takes a healthy dose of selfassertion and adaptability. When German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “Join power with love,” he wasn’t talking about sleeping your way to the top. He meant using power to do good.

Rather than eschew power (because you associate it with violence), you should seek it out and embrace it. After all, isn’t it better for someone like you to have the power to do good? Or would you rather leave it in the hands of all those greedy, unethical people you detest? Just because you dislike the connivers’ methods doesn’t mean you have to let them win.

Strategy 6: Build Positive Relationships

Positive office politics isn’t only about mending fences with workplace enemies. It also involves creating alliances with people who can help you. To increase your feeling of belonging and develop closer

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relationships within your company, consider taking some of the following steps:

1.Sign up for courses that will improve your communication, team play, and leadership skills. Then try out what you learn on the people who make your life most miserable. Practice until you get it right.

2.Seek out assignments that enable you to work with a variety of colleagues, rather than the same old few you always get stuck with. This will improve your people skills, broaden your visibility, and revitalize your workday. “Even if you’re still working in the same company, it can be very energizing to work with new people,” says Anderson.

3.Request assignments with people you genuinely like. After hanging out with them a while, you’re sure to feel better about yourself and your company.

4.Volunteer for a committee that’s working on an interesting issue or project so that you can develop an internal community of colleagues with shared interests and values.

5.When you have the time and energy, pitch in to help others who are on “job overload.” You’ll build a reputation as a team player and develop a supportive network to help you out should the favor ever need to be returned.

6.Give credit where credit is due. Rather than try to steal the limelight for yourself, share it with others. People will feel better about working for and with you.

7.Be on the lookout for little ways you can foster cooperation instead of conflict. When others sense your attitude, they might mellow, too.

8.Don’t harbor grudges. They build ill will and give you ulcers. Chronic anger is a symptom of a serious emotional problem. It has a way of catching up with people who hold onto it too long.

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Strategy 7: Stay Positive

Hate is not a productive emotion. It clouds your vision, distorts your judgment, and makes you resent everything and everyone. Hatred kills the spirit and paralyzes you with bitterness. A prominent psychiatrist once commented: “Some of the most self-destructive acts take place in the name of revenge.”

Consider, for example, a compensation and benefits manager who was furious with her boss, the senior VP of human resources, for “playing favorites” with another manager. The senior VP vehemently denied this was the case, but she refused to believe him. Instead, she went behind his back—and over his head—to complain about him. Because of the man’s outstanding reputation with his superiors, all she managed to do was call attention to the conflict and soil her own standing in the company.

When your emotions are out of control at work, it’s always a good idea to take some time to cool down before trying to resolve whatever’s bugging you. Accusations made in anger are usually unprofessional, inappropriate, and counterproductive. Once said, they can never be taken back and are seldom forgotten. In the heat of the moment, strong feelings can convert small flare-ups into enduring animosities that can destroy a career.

Rather than go into an emotional tailspin, try (if possible) to develop more of a rational problem-solving approach. For example, the senior VP who’d supposedly been giving preferential treatment realized that the problem was destroying his division’s morale. To remedy the situation, he hired a consultant to work with his group to develop better communication and team skills.

Strategy 8: Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness

If you want to be happier at work, you have to accept responsibility for your own happiness. How? By knowing what you can and can’t

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change. This means evaluating the sources of your dissatisfaction to determine where you can expand your sphere of influence. Often, you can do more than you realize. Because unhappiness (like happiness) is a feeling rather than an objective state of being, you can almost always improve your satisfaction level just by thinking different thoughts. Instead of seeing what’s wrong and bad all the time, train your eye to see the positive aspects of a person or situation. Even if the facts never change, you’ll feel better.

Knowing what you can change and how to do so is an important key to career satisfaction. On the flip side, it also helps to know what things lie outside your sphere of influence and accept that reality, too.

If you feel lonely at work, make a concerted effort to become more accessible. Develop a list of “social goals” that increase your opportunities for communication and participation. The steps you take should include the following:

1.Volunteer for committees, projects, or task forces that will allow you to work with a variety of people.

2.Ask to serve as a liaison between departments or divisions.

3.Request customer service and/or vendor/supplier relations responsibilities.

4.Make a point of smiling and saying “good morning” to everyone you see on your way in the door.

5.Go out to lunch with your colleagues. Don’t eat at your desk.

6.Participate in occasional after-work gatherings.

7.Go to company outings such as annual picnics, golf excursions, and Christmas parties.

8.Carpool to work.

9.Devote time each day to discussing nonwork activities.

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