Books on Happiness / the happiness revolution - 2 students

50	The Happiness Revolution

THE FIVE DAILY OBSERVANCES FOR

LIVING WITH PURPOSE

Swami Rama taught that “discipline is doing that which creates the highest joy.” To diminish stress in your life, self-discipline must be imposed from the inside. This sort of discipline is only for those who understand it and choose it for themselves. Swamiji reminded all of us that “no” should only be spoken to ourselves and not to others. It is we who must guide and monitor our choices in life.

The five principles discussed in the following section form the best foundation for character development and self-reliance. This explanation of these daily observances will allow you to see the power of these concepts and the most common misapplications of such great insights.

CLEANLINESS

Cleanliness refers to your body, breath, mind and relationships. It is the active process of diminishing all impurities including junk, clutter, falsehoods and annoyances. It is not a state of arrogance and superiority, but rather a frank recognition that there can be endless worldly diversions from the goal of happiness. When you recognize your own purity, you begin to make choices that support your new identity, both inwardly and outwardly. When you begin to live your life in a manner that maintains your purity, you become filled with a sense of contentment.

Sometimes indecision creates clutter in the mind and soon this inner hesitation manifests itself as physical clutter in your o ce, basement, garage or attic as possessions begin to pile up. Desktops and countertops can disappear into an array of correspondence, bills and junk mail. The solution is a quick response to every moment and event. Modern life rarely provides you the luxury to delay your reactions to your family and your world. As you understand yourself

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and your relationship with the world, you will begin to make better decisions for yourself. This is cleanliness in action. Removing physical clutter can help you think more clearly and promote an inner cleanliness.

Meditation and contemplation become the tools that remove emotional and mental clutter. You transition from the yard and garage, to the desk and the countertops, and finally find moments to spend quieting the mental chatter within. As you incorporate regularity into cleaning both your inner and outer world, then life becomes much easier at every level. Gradually these habits will help reveal your true identity, bringing joy, gladness and mirth in its wake.

My o ce will occasionally present me with a patient who has taken the observance of cleanliness to the extremes of social and psychological dysfunction. For several years I had a steady flow of such overly-enthu- siastic purists. You have probably heard of or met someone like Jill.

Jill was a cheerleader when she was in high school and always strived to be an exemplary model in school and sports. After college and a wholesome marriage, she thought she was on the fast track to a good life. One day at the local bookstore, she was in an absentminded rush and forgot to pay for a book in her hand. Caught in the parking lot by a security guard, Jill was mortified. Her shock and spurious ramblings almost convinced the store owner that she had done it on purpose. When her husband arrived and calmed her down, the matter was quickly resolved and her mere absentmindedness was revealed. But for Jill, she had irreparably stained her good name.

It took several weeks for her husband to notice the extreme cleanliness of the house. Jill had started to constantly straighten and organize their home. Dusting, vacuuming, and rearranging the furniture became her full-time obsession. Unconsciously she was seeking a way to purify herself and her environment in hopes that the stain of humiliation would vanish from her thoughts. Fortunately, she was

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brought to my o ce soon after these behaviors began. In this early stage, she was still only focused on cleaning her home and had not developed further obsessions with germs and her own body’s purity.

Upon completing my initial interview with Jill, I prescribed a homeopathic remedy known to resolve such obsessive-compulsive behavior. Within days, Jill’s extreme behaviors resolved and her selfesteem was regained. In later discussions, I helped normalize her actions by explaining how purity is a common means in starting the path of self-transformation.

The most common misunderstanding of purity that I see professionally is in regard to diet. With the help of movies like Super Size Me*, the proliferation of vegetarian and vegan cookbooks, and the unwavering medical benefits of the vegetarian diet, more and more people are seeking guidance on how to transition to vegetarianism. In seeking this guidance it is important to look for sources that provide practical and balanced advice. A vegetarian diet has many benefits, but like any other diet it is best implemented in a manner that ensures proper nutrient and energy intake. When trying to purify one’s diet, it is easy to become overzealous to the point where changes that were meant to promote health become detrimental. Expert counsel and extreme caution must be taken, including medical supervision, before engaging in long-term fasting or a minimalist’s diet with a severely reduced food intake. Alex was a patient of mine who became a perfect example of the dangers of fasting.

Alex was a single man who became a devotee of a self-proclaimed and well-published spiritual guide. After attending a retreat in Cali-

* Super Size Me is a multiple award-winning documentary. The producer of the film, Morgan Spurlock, subjected himself to eating only McDonald’s food for 30 days. The physiological damage Spurlock su ered during the 30 days of filming was astounding. Furthermore, references throughout the film to the political and financial domination and expenditures of fast food companies makes for a very eye-opening and educational experience.

Mental purity manifests in the form of determination, compassion and happiness.

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fornia with this celebrity, Alex became a pure vegetarian. The problem was that he became such a pure vegetarian that he limited his diet to the point that he was starving himself. He lost drastic amounts of weight, sold his car (to help prevent global warming) and was finally found completely disoriented while wandering the streets of a small California town. He had never made it back to the Midwest after his week-long retreat. His parents flew him home and a psychiatrist in my o ce started him on an anti-psychotic medication. One day I saw this thin shell of a man in the hallway at work and I pulled him aside.

Alex told me what had happened. He had a clear Vatic** disruption caused by severe weight loss and fasting. He would need to quickly regain some weight in order to become mentally and emotionally balanced. I consulted with his psychi-

atrist and we began a food program for Alex. I made sure that my plan was nutritious and honored Alex’s preference for vegetarian food, but the important part was just to get him eating again.

It took almost nine weeks for the old, reliable Alex to reemerge. Pleased with his weight gain and

sensibility, his psychiatrist was happy to gradually eliminate all of his medications. Alex’s desire to be pure was well-intentioned, but lacked the personal guidance that he needed.

Purity and cleanliness start on the physical level and yield many

** A “Vatic” disruption is an Ayurvedic term for an imbalanced physiology caused, in this case, by fasting and extreme weight loss. Such conditions can cause one to become ungrounded and mentally imbalanced. Their ‘spaciness’ and non-attachment is not spiritual attainment, it is pathology that needs treatment.

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health benefits. While this is easy to achieve, it is also important to be practical in your approach to purity and avoid extremes that drain your emotions and disrupt your concentration. A positive attitude and proper discrimination will help keep your mind clear and clean. Mental purity manifests in the form of determination, compassion and happiness. In my experience, once your diet is simple and clean, then yogic breathing exercises (called pranayamas) and meditation are the most immediate means to purifying the mind. I will discuss them both in future chapters.

SUMMARY:

•When you recognize your own inner purity, you will begin to make decisions in life that support and maintain that purity in an internal and external sense.

ACTION ITEMS:

•Pick something simple (make a small healthy change in your diet, try a pranayama exercise, clean a part of your living space that is typically cluttered, etc…) to add a little cleanliness to your life. Observe the effect it has on you.

CONTENTMENT

Contentment is a state whereby your inner equilibrium is balanced and calm. When you have achieved a sense of contentment, then you have also mastered stress management. Your inner calm cannot be threatened by external bustle.

The constant changes in the world present the first challenge to achieving contentment. As you fortify your senses—as we discussed in an earlier chapter — you increase your ability to maintain contentment. However, your own desires, memories and fascinations can

Your sense of contentment blossoms with selfl ess and charitable deeds.

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also disturb your level of contentment. Contentment is not a passive state, but rather the result of prolonged and consistent self-discipline where you consciously choose to be content— regardless of the state of the world outside you and the state of the world inside you. Mind can continue to dwell on its fancies while you direct your attention higher. Like a beautiful lotus flower blossoming in muddy waters, rise above, remain above.

A lack of self-understanding creates the illusion of an inner poverty that robs our sense of contentment. Openly sharing your wealth of knowledge, love or possessions dispels this illusion and cures that inner void. Your inspiration and enthusiasm is directly proportional to the amount of charity you give in any form. Your sense of contentment blossoms with selfless and charitable deeds.

True contentment is the goal of all self-training, resulting in a state in which you are finally free from the push and pull of all desires. This achievement spawns the essential delight of living, allowing it to shine forth for the benefit of all.

SUMMARY:

•Contentment requires you to actively choose to be content – regardless of your circumstances.

ACTION ITEMS:

•Practice being content in a situation in which you would not normally feel content.

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SELF-EFFORT

It is natural to want everything in life to come to you with little or no e ort. However, this is rarely the case. In this book you are now learning new ideas and strategies to help you feel happier and become healthier. However, it is the amount of self-e ort that you put forth that will determine your ultimate success. Changing longstanding habits and lifestyle issues will sometimes require a tremendous amount of e ort on your part. Luckily, the tiniest steps in the right direction yield immediate benefits. This makes it easy for you to be inspired to make larger strides later.

The techniques are simple, practical and straightforward. I want you to be successful. The most simple and powerful way to become free of unwanted habits is to train the senses of your body with your breath. (I will share with you techniques for working with your breath in Chapter 7.) Staying on task will be di cult as long as you allow your senses to reach out and gather the delights of the day. To train the senses using your intellect alone is to create a never-ending battle between desire and reason. For centuries, yoga science has demonstrated the ease of using the breath to gain mastery and comfort in life.

With proper guidance and inspiration, you can start with a minimal amount of e ort and notice that you are feeling happier. Once you have experienced this success, you will be more inspired to overcome the bigger obstacles that unveil even greater joys. Self-e ort, when channeled in the correct direction, can trounce the worst habits and personality traits.

SUMMARY:

•Even a small amount of self-effort, when sincere and in the right direction, will always yield results and can inspire you to make greater efforts to achieve greater results.

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ACTION ITEMS:

•Choose a simple point of guidance from this book and make an effort to practice it in your life, and observe the results.

SELF-STUDY

Self-study is the foundation upon which you can build your happiness. Carefully examine and study the aspects of your life that amplify your joy. Reminding yourself of your failures and apparent obstacles may become more disheartening than helpful, thus, focus on what does work for you. In the chapter on contemplation, I will fully explain the importance and power of self-study.

In my own personal quest, I always viewed my search for happiness as a journey. Any well-seasoned traveler will tell you that the most important things to have are a good map, a good guide, and insights from other travelers who have already made the journey. Self-study means acquiring knowledge that is helpful for you and learning the principles and practices that are specifically useful for you. Many people want to be “successful” or “spiritual” without a clear definition of those terms. They want it, but they aren’t really sure what it is. This lack of clarity and honesty about the journey commonly leads to failure and frustration. It also can make you gullible to falling prey to false teachers who will rob you of your money or, even worse, your self-reliance. A beginning sojourner needs to follow the threefold path of self-study.

First, get to know yourself and your immediate strengths and weaknesses. Compare your self-inventory with the requirements of the journey on which you wish to embark – for me this was a journey to happiness. Study the map, find a good guide, and talk to those who have already accomplished the journey.

As you come to know your own personal needs and goals, it is then important to carefully select the resources that can help you at-

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tain your goal. I have found it to be very important to choose books, teachers and therapists that are compatible with helping me overcome my immediate hurdles. I have gone through a progression of highlyvalued mentors and techniques in this process. My allegiance was not to a particular person or culture, rather it was to freedom itself. As a child, I greatly respected my first-grade teacher but 12 months after meeting her I was eager to study with my second-grade teacher. It is with this same attitude that I have studied medicine, sought counsel in the form of a personal trainer and found great benefit from fellowship. Each activity helped me understand and resolve obstacles in my journey. Incorporate the teachings and counsel of others, but allow your conscience to be your chief guide. At that point self-study can truly lead to wondrous self-transformation.

The second phase is creating time in your day or week for self-re- flection where you can digest the facts and possibilities of your experiences. Sit down and think about what has happened. In the beginning I could only find time for this on the weekends. None of us wants to make the process of self-transformation overly tiresome and time-consuming. So choose a time and place that works for you.

Gradually you will see that insights and guidance, that will help you reach your goals, occur every day. And, more importantly, your self-reflection strengthens your determination as you learn to view all life events as lessons and feedback. Then you will value the wisdom gained from failure or loss. This allows you to become more realistic about your timetables and more skillful in your actions.

The third phase is the momentum birthed by the accumulation of insights gained from your self-study. A few minutes each day can build into the groundswell of insights leading to a big “aha.” When you get stuck in really di cult situations on your journey, trust your past e orts to come forward with an escape plan. The accumulation of your past e orts have created a forward moving momentum that

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will carry you through moments of weakness or despair. No matter what, you will complete your journey.

SUMMARY:

•Self-study is your opportunity to take something home from the classroom of life experiences. Examine your experiences in life in combination with guidance from books, teachers and therapists to gain insights and guidance to help you toward your goals.

ACTION ITEMS:

• Set aside a practical, realistic amount of quiet time for regular selfstudy.

SPIRITUAL CLARITY – THE END OF

SELFISHNESS

As you become fully established in the truth of your experiential identity, you feel and realize that the ever-flowing knowledge and peace within you is the only solution to all stress and challenge. You will start to experience this constant stream of compassion as you use relaxation exercises, meditation and contemplation to loosen your grip on the objects and identities that once seemed to be essential to your life. Your vision will become broader as you open yourself to new and larger horizons. The experiences you gain from these inward practices will lead you to the source of true happiness – known to some as a spiritual or inner awakening. Yoga refers to this as Samadhi.

Pandit Rajmani explains, “The moment one realizes why the air provides oxygen to all, why the rain moistens the earth, and why the sun gives light and heat, then he feels the overflowing love and compassion of the Divine.” Likewise, other commentators have defined