I shook my head.

“It hasn’t made any difference to them.”

My voice was serene, a counterpoint to his anxiety. “My age is not really that important. Edward, I’m ready. I’ve chosen my life — now I want to start living it.”

He stroked my hair. “The guest list veto?”

“I don’t care really, but I . . .” I hesitated, not wanting to explain this one. Best to get it over with. “I’m not sure if Alice would feel the need to invite . . . a few werewolves. I don’t know if . . . Jake would feel like . . . like he should come. Like that’s the right thing to do, or that I’d get my feelings hurt if he didn’t. He shouldn’t have to go through that.”

Edward was quiet for a minute. I stared at the tips of the treetops, almost black against the light gray of the sky.

Suddenly, Edward grabbed me around the waist and pulled me onto his chest.

“Tell me why you’re doing this, Bella. Why did you decide, now, to give Alice free reign?”

I repeated for him the conversation I had with Charlie last night before I’d gone to see Jacob.

“It wouldn’t be fair to keep Charlie out of this,” I concluded. “And that means Renйe and Phil. I might as well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper goodbye. Even if he thinks it’s much too early, I wouldn’t want to cheat him out of the chance to walk me down the aisle.” I grimaced at the words, then took another deep breath. “At least my mom and dad and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most I’m allowed to tell them. They’ll know I chose you, and they’ll know we’re together. They’ll know I’m happy, wherever I am. I think that’s the best I can do for them.”

Edward held my face, searching it for a brief time.

“Deal’s off,” he said abruptly.

“What?” I gasped. “You’re backing out? No!”

“I’m not backing out, Bella. I’ll still keep my side of the bargain. But you’re off the hook. Whatever you want, no strings attached.”

“Why?”

“Bella, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to make everyone else happy. And I don’t care about anyone else’s feelings. I only need you to be happy. Don’t worry about breaking the news to Alice. I’ll take care of it. I promise she won’t make you feel guilty.”

“But I —”

“No. We’re doing this your way. Because my way doesn’t work. I call you stubborn, but look at what I’ve done. I’ve clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what’s best for you, though it’s only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I don’t trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your way. My way is always wrong. So.” He shifted under me, squaring his shoulders. “We’re doing it your way, Bella. Tonight. Today. The sooner the better. I’ll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough morphine, it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s worth a try.” He gritted his teeth.

“Edward, no —”

He put his finger to my lips. “Don’t worry, Bella, love. I haven’t forgotten the rest of your demands.”

His hands were in my hair, his lips moving softly — but very seriously — against mine, before I realized what he was saying. What he was doing.

There wasn’t much time to act. If I waited too long, I wouldn’t be able to remember why I needed to stop him. Already, I couldn’t breathe right. My hands were gripping his arms, pulling myself tighter to him, my mouth glued to his and answering every unspoken question his asked.

I tried to clear my head, to find a way to speak.

He rolled gently, pressing me into the cool grass.

Oh, never mind! my less noble side exulted. My head was full of the sweetness of his breath.

No, no, no, I argued with myself. I shook my head, and his mouth moved to my neck, giving me a chance to breathe.

“Stop, Edward. Wait.” My voice was as weak as my will.

“Why?” he whispered into the hollow of my throat.

I labored to put some resolve into my tone. “I don’t want to do this now.”

“Don’t you?” he asked, a smile in his voice. He moved his lips back to mine and made speaking impossible. Heat coursed through my veins, burning where my skin touched his.

I made myself focus. It took a great deal of effort just to force my hands to free themselves from his hair, to move them to his chest. But I did it. And then I shoved against him, trying to push him away. I could not succeed alone, but he responded as I knew he would.

He pulled back a few inches to look at me, and his eyes did nothing to help my resolve. They were black fire. They smoldered.

“Why?” he asked again, his voice low and rough. “I love you. I want you. Right now.”

The butterflies in my stomach flooded my throat. He took advantage of my speechlessness.

“Wait, wait,” I tried to say around his lips.

“Not for me,” he murmured in disagreement.

“Please?” I gasped.

He groaned, and pushed himself away from me, rolling onto his back again.

We both lay there for a minute, trying to slow our breathing.

“Tell me why not, Bella,” he demanded. “This had better not be about me.”

Everything in my world was about him. What a silly thing to expect.

“Edward, this is very important to me. I am going to do this right.”

“Who’s definition of right?”

“Mine.”

He rolled onto his elbow and stared at me, his expression disapproving.

“How are you going to do this right?”

I took a deep breath. “Responsibly. Everything in the right order. I will not leave Charlie and Renйe without the best resolution I can give them. I won’t deny Alice her fun, if I’m having a wedding anyway. And I will tie myself to you in every human way, before I ask you to make me immortal. I’m following all the rules, Edward. Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with. You’re not going to budge me on this.”

“I’ll bet I could,” he murmured, his eyes burning again.

“But you wouldn’t,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. “Not knowing that this is what I really need.”

“You don’t fight fair,” he accused.

I grinned at him. “Never said I did.”

He smiled back, wistful. “If you change your mind . . .”

“You’ll be the first to know,” I promised.

The rain started to drip through the clouds just then, a few scattered drops that made faint thuds as they struck the grass.

I glowered at the sky.

“I’ll get you home.” He brushed the tiny beads of water from my cheeks.

“Rain’s not the problem,” I grumbled. “It just means that it’s time to go do something that will be very unpleasant and possibly even highly dangerous.”

His eyes widened in alarm.

“It’s a good thing you’re bulletproof.” I sighed. “I’m going to need that ring. It’s time to tell Charlie.”

He laughed at the expression on my face. “Highly dangerous,” he agreed. He laughed again and then reached into the pocket of his jeans. “But as least there’s no need for a side trip.”

He once again slid my ring into place on the third finger of my left hand.

Where it would stay — conceivably for the rest of eternity.

EPILOGUE — CHOICE

JACOB BLACK

“Jacob, do you think this is going to take too much longer?” Leah demanded. Impatient. Whiney.

My teeth clenched together.

Like anyone in the pack, Leah knew everything. She knew why I came here — to the very edge of the earth and sky and sea. To be alone. She knew that this was all I wanted. Just to be alone.

But Leah was going to force her company on me, anyway.

Besides being crazy annoyed, I did feel smug for a brief second. Because I didn’t even have to think about controlling my temper. It was easy now, something I just did, natural. The red haze didn’t wash over my eyes. The heat didn’t shiver down my spine. My voice was calm when I answered.

“Jump off a cliff, Leah.” I pointed to the one at my feet.

“Really, kid.” She ignored me, throwing herself into a sprawl on the ground next to me. “You have no idea how hard this is for me.”

“For you?” It took me a minute to believe she was serious. “You have to be the most self-absorbed person alive, Leah. I’d hate to shatter the dream world you live in — the one where the sun is orbiting the place where you stand — so I won’t tell you how little I care what your problem is. Go. Away.”

“Just look at this from my perspective for a minute, okay?” she continued as if I hadn’t said anything.

If she was trying to break my mood, it worked. I started laughing. The sound hurt in strange ways.

“Stop snorting and pay attention,” she snapped.

“If I pretend to listen, will you leave?” I asked, glancing over at the permanent scowl on her face. I wasn’t sure if she had any other expressions anymore.

I remembered back to when I used to think that Leah was pretty, maybe even beautiful. That was a long time ago. No one thought of her that way now. Except for Sam. He was never going to forgive himself. Like it was his fault that she’d turned into this bitter harpy.

Her scowl heated up, as if she could guess what I was thinking. Probably could.

“This is making me sick, Jacob. Can you imagine what this feels like to me? I don’t even like Bella Swan. And you’ve got me grieving over this leech-lover like I’m in love with her, too. Can you see where that might be a little confusing? I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”

“Do I care?”

“I can’t stand being in your head anymore! Get over her already! She’s going to marry that thing. He’s going to try to change her into one of them! Time to move on, boy.”

“Shut up,” I growled.