I feel exhausted

Je suis cassé(e) (*) Lit. I'm broken. Je suis vanné(e) (*) I'm shattered. Je suis H.S. (*) Lit. out of action. The initials for hors-service. Je suis nase (*) I'm knackered. Like its opposite la pêche, it's found in dictionaries and therefore used and understood by all. Je suis nase-broque (*) The origin and therefore the spelling of the suffix broque is rather uncertain - it may well come from "broke/broken" - but what it actually means is not important, it sounds good. Je suis décalqué(e) (*) Lit. I'm traced. Je suis explosé(e) (*) Lit. I'm exploded. Je suis fracassé(e) (*) Lit. I'm smashed.

Astonished

Je suis scié (*) It bowled me over. It staggered me. Il m'a scié (*) Same meaning as above. Ça me tue! (*) Lit. It kills me!

I feel upset

J'ai le cafard (*) Lit. Cafard is a cockroach. Means to feel depressed - I'm down in the dumps. J'ai le blues (*) Same meaning as above. J'ai le spleen (*) Originates from the title of a poem by French writer Baudelaire where he wrote about his melancholy and depression. J'ai les glandes (**) French people feel anger swell in them through some glands that they have in the back of their throat. J'ai les boules ! (**) Lit. I've got the balls. Same meaning as j'ai les glandes, which are often also called les boules. This expression can be completed by an appropriate gesture: Hold two imaginary pétanque balls, one in each hand. Then repetitively shake your hands in front of your neck, as if enormously swollen glands were growing out of your throat. J'ai super les boules (**) Je suis vert(e) ! (*) Lit. I'm green! Traditionally, red is the colour associated with anger. Green is probably the next stage up, the colour that your face turns to when you reach a level of utmost anger and consternation. So much so that it makes you feel sick, hence the other expression: Je suis écœuré(e) (*). J'ai les nerfs (*) I'm getting angry. Je suis vénère (*v = Je suis énervé) I'm angry. J'ai la haine ! (**) Lit. I've got hatred. I feel hatred within me. Definitely stronger than j'ai les boules. With this expression, it's impossible for your friends not to take you seriously. They'll get the message that today is not the right day to mess with you.

I feel good

J'ai la pêche ! (**) Lit. I've got the peach! Officially translated as "I'm full of get-up-and-go!" or "I'm on form!". The fact that this expression can be found in dictionaries means that it is understood by absolutely everyone. But as a result, it loses a tiny bit of its coolness. J'ai la patate ! (*) Lit. I've got the potato! Patate here has exactly the same function as pêche. This expression is not in dictionaries... yet. J'ai la frite ! (*) Lit. I've got the chip/french fry! Again, there is no point in trying to figure out the link between the word and its meaning... After all, France is the country of food. Anyway, dictionaries translate it as "I'm on top form!". J'ai la banane (*) Lit. I've got the banana. Finally, an expression that has a rational explanation! What does the shape of a banana refers to? The shape of your lips smiling, of course. Perfectly describes euphoria, doesn't it?

MUSIC

Listening to music can sometimes be hard work. Buying the right records is one thing, but being able to talk about them is another. Here is a glossary that should hopefully help you have a decent conversation about music.

Positive comments

Ça tue ! (*) It's a killer! C'est mortel ! (*) It's lethal! Lit. Deadly. Cet album, il est trop mortel ! (*) This album is a right killer! C'est une vraie bombe ! (*) It's a real bomb! The ultimate compliment, it can be used to describe a wicked tune, riff, song, album, band...

Good vibe

These phrases mainly apply to certain types of music, those with an appropriate beat i.e le rap, le fonk (funk), le hip-hop, la techno, le reggae, le raggamuffin, etc. Ça déménage ! (*) It moves! Ça groove ! (*) Same meaning as above. Ça pulse ! (*) It's pumping! Ça tourne ! (*) It's running! (like an engine)

Positive power

Ça envoie la purée ! (*) It's throwing/spitting purée, literally... It's particularly appropriate for funky music. J'ai pris une claque ! (*) I was gobsmacked. J'ai pris une bonne / une grosse claque ! (*) I was flabbergasted. Une claque is a smack. These expressions are usually used to describe really powerful records or gigs. Of course, the strength of the smack is proportional to the energy released by the music.

Rubbish

C'est de la daube (*) It's rubbish. La daube is a sort of stew made with meat and leftovers. C'est de la soupe (*) It's too soft, too middle of the road. La soupe is soup. C'est nase (**) It's boring, terrible. According to dictionaries, nase is the equivalent of knackered, exhausted (person), or kaputt (machine). In music, as well as in every kind of art, it means a waste of time. C'est grave (**) Even stronger than nase. Grave is the equivalent of serious, grave, solemn... Can be used with other expressions + grave: C'est de la soupe grave (**) Ça envoie la purée grave (**) Ça pulse grave (**) Placed after any of the above mentioned expressions, grave emphasizes and amplifies the meaning, positive or negative. Grave de chez grave In case grave on its own is not enough to describe your reaction to terrible or excellent music, grave de chez grave stresses your point even more. It is constructed as if grave was a trademark (like Nº5 de chez Chanel, Nº5 from Chanel). Again it can be used on its own, in which case it means boring, sad, awful: Les boy bands, c'est grave de chez grave. Also after another expression: J'ai pris une claque grave de chez grave.

PLAY UP/PLAY DOWN

Il est beauf de chez beauf (**) Beauf pej. & fig. archetypal lower middle-class Frenchman. According to the Larousse dictionary, beaufs are archetypal ordinary Frenchmen as perceived by the French themselves. The term, which is short for beau-frère (brother-in-law), also suggests conformism and a narrow outlook. "Something ... de chez... something" means "really" or "completely". It is constructed as if it was a trademark (like N°5 de chez Chanel, N°5 from Chanel). Stupide de chez stupide (**) = really stupid Ways to say how something is great and to express enthusiasm: C'est de la balle ! (*) C'est génial ! (*) C'est géant ! (*) C'est top ! (*) C'est super ! (*) C'est d'enfer (**) Any of these expressions + d'enfer... means from hell! Unlike in English, this emphasizes how good something is. J'ai un boulot d'enfer I have a really good job. J'ai une pêche d'enfer I feel really good. Il a acheté une voiture d'enfer He bought a beautiful car. Super has been around for decades, experiencing ups and downs in terms of popularity. Now it is cool again - so much so that it has, in many cases, replaced the traditional vachement. It is used as an adverb or adjective, just after the verb. J'ai super les boules (*) I'm furious! J'ai super la pêche ! (*) I feel really good! J'ai un super boulot (*) I have a very good job. Il a acheté une super voiture He bought a beautiful car. Mega - hyper - giga (*) same use as super. J'ai grave les nerfs (**) I'm getting angry. Grave emphasizes and amplifies the meaning, positive or negative. Grave de chez grave (**) In case grave on its own is not enough to describe your reaction to something terrible or excellent, grave de chez grave stresses your point even more. J'ai les nerfs grave de chez grave (**)

POLITICS

The French love politics and are often very passionate about it. This could be due to France's centuries-old tradition of philosophical and political thought, with the likes of Rousseau, Robespierre, Napoléon, Charles de Gaulle or Jean-Paul Sartre enjoying international renown. On the other hand, it could be down to the natural tendency of the French to argue about anything... or both. In France, everything you do, from shopping to reading, has a political meaning. But strangely this French obsession with politics and political ideas is matched by a real hatred of politicians... another of those French paradoxes. For various reasons, in the last few years French politicians have managed to gain a terrible reputation. Deservedly or not, they are now often characterised as a bunch of liars, parasites and control freaks. Ironically this hasn't prevented the French from voting for them.

Political affiliations

Un anar (*) An anarchist. Short for un anarchiste. Un coco (*) A communist. Short for un communiste. Un socialo (*) A socialist. Short for un socialiste. Un écolo (*) An ecologist. Short for un écologiste. Un réac (*) A reactionary. Short for un réactionnaire. Un facho (*) A fascist. Short for un fasciste. Un politicard (*) A politician. The suffix -ard gives the original word politicien a rather pejorative connotation. Un éléphant (*) An old member of a political party. No matter which political party they belong to, elephants are often accused of being conservative and against reform.

Politics as usual

La langue de bois (*) Lit. the wooden language. This old expression refers to the clichés politicians come out with, which they sometimes use when they don't want to answer a journalist's tricky questions. Des promesses, toujours des promesses ! (*) Promises, promises! Before an election, you get to hear this expression a lot amongst voters. No matter what promises political candidates may make, people are usually sceptical about them. Bidon (*) Phoney. Originally, the word bidon is a noun meaning "bottle" or "can". Although it is still used as a noun (with its original meaning) it also has become an invariable adjective meaning "phoney" or "fake". This probably comes from the fact that when you look at a bottle or a can, you can't always tell whether it's full or empty. Appearances are sometimes deceptive. C'est une promesse bidon (*) This is a phoney promise. Du vent (*) Hot air. Lit. wind. Sometimes when politicians speak, all they actually manage to come out with is a lot of hot air... Ce discours, c'est que du vent (*) This speech is just hot air. Un pipeau (*) A fib, a lie. Lit. pipe, flute. Same meaning as above. The flute is the instrument snake charmers use to hypnotise snakes. Un baratin, baratiner (*) Flannel, to flannel. This word comes from Old French but is still needed. Faux jeton (*) Lit. False token. Two-faced, hypocritical. Unfortunately, politicians don't always tell the truth.

PROFESSIONS

Un intello (*) An intellectual. Short for un intellectuel, of which there are many in France. Un proprio (*) A landlord. Short for un propriétaire. Universally hated. Un musicos (*) It's cool to pronounce the '-s', both in the singular and plural, des musicos. Un Keuf (***v = flic) A policeman. Don't use it if you meet French policemen! Un gyneco (*) Short for un gynécologue, a gynecologist. Un psy (*) Short for un psychologue, a psychologist. Un toubib (*) A doctor. Un kiné (*) Short for un kinésithérapeute, a physiotherapist

PULLING

When it comes to seduction, the French do have a bit of a reputation. But is it because of their actual conquest? Or simply because they know how to talk about them, whether they're successful or not? Anyway, here is a little glossary you'll be able to learn and practise on French beaches...

Girls

Une nana, une nénette (*) A girl, a bird. These words are rather neutral and therefore quite handy. Une minette (*) This word is an affectionate term for cat, i.e. puss or pussy cat and has a masculine equivalent. Cats are famous for being seductive animals, aren't they? Une meuf (*v = femme) A woman. Une gonzesse (**) A woman.

Boys

Un mec, un keum (*v = mec) A bloke, a neutral, handy word. Un gars, un type, un bonhomme (*) A guy, a man. Funnily enough, there seems to be a lack of vocabulary when it comes to giving boys cool names. Un minet (**) This word is a masculine equivalent of une minette, an affecionate term for cat, i.e. puss or pussy cat.

A Nice-Looking Girl

Un canon (*) An extremely attractive girl or boy. Seduction is sometimes like war, you have to use your sense of strategy, etc. Une bombe, un missile (*) An extremely attractive girl. No wonder, some of the vocabulary includes words like these. It all depends on the level of difficulty of the conquest. More or less the equivalent of "a sex bomb".

An Ugly Person

Un thon (***) A tuna fish. Obscure origins but efficient, who would want to seduce a tuna fish? Un boudin (***) Originally black pudding. For a long time, this word was mainly used to describe unattractive women. It is now unisex. Also available in verlan un dimbou. Une mocheté, une personne moche (*) An ugly person. Un pou (***) Lit. A louse.

A User's Guide

Step One Mater (*) To watch, to check something out. A very important verb given the fact that this is where everything starts, because seduction is also about how you look at the other person. Verlan for this word téma is also very popular. Mate cette meuf, c'est un vrai canon ! (*) Watch this woman, she's a real sex bomb! Step Two Brancher (*) To seduce... or at least to try. The original meaning is "to plug in", "to switch on"... After assessing the situation, which consists of mater, to watch out, it's time to take the initiative: brancher i.e try some kind of approach. Je l'ai branché/e grave (*) I really seduced him/her. Step Three Se faire jeter (*) Lit. To be thrown out. At least when you're blown up you can use a cool expression to tell your friends about your defeat. Even better se faire tèj, verlan for this expression. Se prendre une veste (*) Lit. To get a jacket. Same meaning as above. When someone refuses to respond to your declarations, you get to see the jacket (or the back of it) of the person turning around to run away from you... Hence the expression. Se prendre un râteau (*) Lit. To get a rake. Same meaning as above. Choper (*) Lit. To grab. Your attempts will sometimes be rewarded. Emballer (*) Lit. To wrap up (food, presents, etc.). Same meaning as above. Embarquer (*) Lit. To ship, to embark (people or goods). Same meaning as above. Step Four Une capote, (*) une poteca (*v = capote) A hood - a condom. Being cool shouldn't prevent anyone from being careful and safe. Un chapeau (*) Lit. A hat. A very nice way to say "a condom". Un gant (*) Lit. A glove. Same as above.