7. Illustration

"It doesn't pay to fight City Hall. For example, my friend Josie . . ." "Many intelligent people lack common sense. Take Dr. Brandon . . ."

"Topnotch women tennis players are among the biggest moneymakers in sports. Last year, for instance, Arantxa Sanchez Vicario . . ."

"Predicting the weather is far from an exact science. Two winters ago, a surprise snowstorm . . ."

Have you ever noticed how often people use illustrations (examples) to clar­ify general statements?

Ordinary conversations teem with "for example..." and "for instance...," often in response to a furrowed brow or puzzled look. Hank Cassidy serves as the perfect example of a good ole boy, or Chicago's Watertower Plaza illustrates a vertical shopping mall. But illustration is not limited to concrete items. Teachers, researchers, and writers often present an abstract principle or natural law, then supply concrete examples that bring it down to earth. An economics instructor might illustrate compound interest by an example showing how much $100 earning 5 percent interest would appreciate in ten years. Examples can also persuade, as when advertisers trot out typical satisfied users of their products to induce us to buy.

Many classroom writing assignments can benefit from the use of illustra­tion. A business student writing a paper on effective management can provide a better grasp of the topic by including examples of successful managers and how they operate. A paper defining democracy for a political science course will be more effective if it offers examples of several democratic governments. An explanation of irony for a literature course will gain force and clarity through examples taken from stories and poems. Illustration plays a similarly important role in work-related writing. A teacher wanting a bigger student-counseling staff might cite students who need help but can't get it. An adver­tising copywriter urging that new copiers be bought might mention different instances of copier breakdown and the resulting delays in customer service. A union steward wanting a better company safety program might call attention to several recent accidents.

The old saying that a picture is worth a thousand words best explains the popularity of illustration. The concrete is always easier to grasp than the abstract, and examples add savor to what might otherwise be flat and vague.

Selecting Appropriate Examples

Make sure that your examples stay on target, that is, actually support your general statement and do not veer off into an intriguing side issue. For instance, if you're making the point that the lyrics in a rock group's latest album are not in good taste, don't inject comments on the fast lifestyle of one of its members. Instead, provide examples of lyrics that support your claim, chosen from different songs in the album to head off objections that your examples aren't representative.

Furthermore, see that your examples display all the chief features of whatever you're illustrating. Don't offer Hank Cassidy as an example of a typical good ole boy unless he fits the general mold by being a fun-loving, easygoing beer guzzler who likes to hang out with other men. Alternatively, consider this example of a hacker, a compulsive computer programmer:

Bob Shaw, a 15-year-old high-school student, is a case in point. Bob was temporarily pulled off the computers at school when he began failing his other courses. But instead of hitting the books, he continues to sulk outside the computer center, peering longingly through the glass door at the consoles within.

Pale and drawn, his brown hair unkempt, Bob speaks only in monosyllables, avoiding eye contact. In answer to questions about friends, hobbies, school, he merely shrugs or mumbles a few words aimed at his sneakered feet. But when the conversation turns to the subject of computers, he brightens—and blurts out a few full sentences about the computer he's building and the projects he plans.

Dina Ingber, "Computer Addicts"

Clearly, Shaw fits Ingber's description of hackers as programmers who have "a drive so consuming it overshadows nearly every other part of their lives and forms the focal point of their existence."

Number of Examples

How many examples will you need? One long one, several fairly brief ones, or a large number of very short ones? Look to your topic for the answer. To illustrate the point that a good nurse must be compassionate, conscientious, and competent, your best bet would probably be one example, since one person must possess all these traits.

When dealing with trends, however, you'll need several examples. To show that parents have been raising children more and more permissively over the last half century, at least three examples are called for: one family from around 1945, a second from about 1970, and a third from the present time. Sometimes topics that do not involve trends require more than one example, as when you demonstrate the sharp differences between Japanese and American attitudes toward work.

Finally, some topics require a whole series of examples. If you're contending that many everyday expressions have their origins in the world of gambling, you'd need many examples to demonstrate your point.

Exercise 1. Choose one of the following topic sentences. Select an appropriate example and write the rest of the paragraph.

a. Sometimes a minor incident drastically changes a person's life.

b. 's name exactly suits (her/his) personality.

с. I still get embarrassed when I remember .

d. Not all education goes on in the classroom.

e. I learned the value of the hard way.

Exercise 2. Explain why you would use one extended illustration, several shorter ones, or a whole series of examples to develop each of the following statements. Suggest appropriate illustrations.

a. Many parents I know think for their children.

b. The hamburger isn't what it used to be.

c. The ideal pet is small, quiet, and affectionate.

d. Different college students view their responsibilities differently.

e. The hotels in Gotham City run the gamut from sumptuous to seedy.

f.. Modern English includes any number of words taken directly from foreign languages.

Organizing the Examples

A single extended example often assumes the narrative form, presenting a series of events in time sequence. One person's unfolding experience might show that "doing your thing" doesn't always work out for the best. Sets of examples that trace trends also rely on time sequence, moving either forward or backward. This arrangement would work well for the paper on the growing permissiveness in child rearing.

On the other hand, a paper showing that different individuals exhibit some characteristic to different extents would logically be organized by order of climax (from the least to the greatest extent) or perhaps the reverse order. To demonstrate how salesclerks differ in their attitudes toward customers, you might first describe a hostile clerk, then a pleasant one, and finally an outstandingly courteous and helpful one.

Sometimes any arrangement will work equally well. Suppose you're showing that Americans are taking various precautions to ward off heart attacks. Although you might move from a person who exercises to one who diets and finally to one who practices relaxation techniques, no special order is preferable.

Large numbers of examples might first be grouped into categories and the categories then arranged in a suitable order. For example, the expressions from the world of gambling could be grouped according to types of gambling: cards, dice, horse racing, and the like. Depending upon the specific categories, one arrangement may or may not be preferable to another.

Planning and Drafting the Illustration

Assertions, unfamiliar topics, abstract principles, natural laws—as we've seen, all of these can form the foundation for your paper. If you have a choice, you should experience little difficulty finding something suitable. After all, you've observed and experienced many things—for example, how people can be TV junkies and the ways students manage the stresses of college life. As always, the strategies can help generate some possibilities, which you can then evaluate by asking these questions:

Exactly what point am I trying to make? (Write it down in precise terms.)

Why do I want to make this point? To show how bad something is? To encourage something? To scare people into or away from something? Who is my prospective audience? Should I use one extended example, or will I need more? Why?

Once you've picked your topic, ask yourself, "What example (s) will work best with my audience?" Then brainstorm each one for supporting details.

Review your details carefully and add any new ones you think of; then make a new chart and re-enter the details into it, arranged in the order you intend to present them.

Your introduction should identify your topic and draw your reader into the paper. If you're illustrating a personal belief, you might indicate how you developed it. If you're trying to scare the reader into or away from something, you might open with an arresting statement.

Present your examples in the body of your paper, keeping your purpose firmly in mind as you plan your organization. If you have many brief examples, perhaps group them into related categories for discussion. The paper on expressions from gambling, for instance, might devote one paragraph each to terms from the worlds of cards, dice, and horse racing. If you're dealing with a few relatively brief examples—say to show a trend—put each in its own paragraph. For a single extended example, use the entire body of the paper, suitably paragraphed. Thus, an extended example of someone with an eccentric lifestyle might include paragraphs on mode of dress, living accommodations, and public behavior.

Revising an Illustration

Think about the following questions and the general guidelines in chapter 3 as you revise your paper:

Exactly what idea am I going to put across? Have I used the examples that best typify it?

Are my examples interesting?

Have I used an appropriate number of examples?

Have I organized my paper effectively?

Suggestions for Writing. Use one of the ideas below or another that your teacher approves for your illustration essay. Select appropriate examples, determine how many you will use, and decide how you will organize them.

1. Russians are risky people

1. If you want something done ask the busiest person around

2. People often choose strange places for vacation

3. People have many strange remedies for hangovers

4. Many intelligent people lack common sense

5. Successful people are often self-made

6. ___________ is the most (or least) effective teacher I have ever had