It's included in the price.

An old Jewish man and a young Jewish man are traveling on the train (старый еврей и молодой еврей едут в поезде).

The young man asks (спрашивает): "Excuse me, what time is it? (извините, который час)" The old man does not answer (старик не отвечает).

"Excuse me, sir, what time is it?" The old man keeps silence (хранит молчание).

"Sir, I'm asking you what time is it. Why don't you answer?! (почему вы не отвечаете)"

The old man says: "Son (сынок), the next stop (следующая остановка) is the last on this route (последняя на этом маршруте). I don't know you (я тебя не знаю), so you must be a stranger (значит: «итак» ты, должно быть, не здешний; strange – чужой; странный). If I answer you now (если я тебе сейчас отвечу), I'll have to invite you to my home (мне придется пригласить тебя в мой дом). You're handsome (красивый), and I have a beautiful daughter (а у меня красивая дочь). You will both fall in love (вы оба влюбитесь, полюбите друг друга: «впадете в любовь») and you will want to get married (захотите пожениться). Tell me (скажи мне), why would I need a son-in-law (к чему мне будет такой зять: «зачем я бы нуждался в таком зяте») who can't even afford a watch? (который даже не может позволить себе /купить/ часы)"

An old Jewish man and a young Jewish man are traveling on the train.

The young man asks: "Excuse me, what time is it?" The old man does not answer.

"Excuse me, sir, what time is it?" The old man keeps silence.

"Sir, I'm asking you what time is it. Why don't you answer?!"

The old man says: "Son, the next stop is the last on this route. I don't know you, so you must be a stranger. If I answer you now, I'll have to invite you to my home. You're handsome, and I have a beautiful daughter. You will both fall in love and you will want to get married. Tell me, why would I need a son-in-law who can't even afford a watch?"

Excuse me, what time is it?

I can't afford that.

The first Jewish President (первый еврейский президент = первый еврей, ставший американским президентом) calls his mother (звонит своей матери) in Queens (– район Нью-Йорка) and invites her for Chanukah (и приглашает ее на Хануку).

"I'd like to (я бы хотела, я бы с удовольствием)," she says, "but it's so much trouble... (но это такая проблема: «такое беспокойство») First (во-первых), I have to get a cab (мне нужно взять такси) to the airport, and I hate waiting (терпеть не могу ожидание; to hate – ненавидеть) on Queens Boulevard..."

"Mom! I'm President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One! (я пришлю спец. самолет /ВВС/; force – сила)"

"Yes, but when we land (но когда мы приземлимся) I'll still have to carry my luggage (мне все еще = все равно придется нести мой багаж) through (через) the airport... And try to find (попытаться найти) a cab... And you know what holiday crowds are like... (а ты знаешь, что такое: «на что похожи» праздничные толпы)"

"Mom! I'll have a helicopter pick you up! (у меня будет вертолет, чтобы подобрать тебя) You'll go straight (ты отправишься прямо) from the plane to my front lawn! (с самолета на мою переднюю лужайку = перед домом)" "I don't know... (не знаю) I'd still need a hotel room (мне все равно будет нужен номер в гостинице). And hotels are so expensive… (так дороги) and they're not like they used to be... (не такие, как были раньше)"

"Ma! You'll stay at the White House! (ты остановишься в Белом Доме)"

"Well..." She thinks. "I guess (я думаю; to guess – угадать, отгадать; /амер./ считать, предполагать), O.K." she sighs (вздыхает), "I'll come... for you (я приеду… ради тебя)."

That afternoon (в тот же день /после полудня/; noon – полдень), she's talking on the phone (она говорит по телефону) with one of her friends (с одной из своих подруг). "What's new? (что нового)" The friend asks.

"I'm visiting my son for Chanukah (я поеду в гости к сыну на Хануку)."

"The doctor?"

"No... the other one (нет, к другому)."

The first Jewish President calls his mother in Queens and invites her for Chanukah.

"I'd like to," she says, "but it's so much trouble... First, I have to get a cab to the airport, and I hate waiting on Queens Boulevard..."

"Mom! I'm President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One!"

"Yes, but when we land I'll still have to carry my luggage through the airport... An try to find a cab... And you know what holiday crowds are like..."

"Mom! I'll have a helicopter pick you up! You'll go straight from the plane to my front lawn!" "I don't know... I'd still need a hotel room. And hotels are so expensive… and they're not like they used to be..."

"Ma! You'll stay at the White House!"

"Well..." She thinks. "I guess. O.K." she sighs, "I'll come... for you."

That afternoon, she's talking on the phone with one of her friends. "What's new?" The friend asks.

"I'm visiting my son for Chanukah."

"The doctor?"

"No... the other one."