- •I type a full stop, take a sip of coffee, and turn to the second page of the press release.
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •I should say something. I should say, “Janice, I don’t fancy Tom. He’s too tall and his breath smells.” But how on earth can I say that?
- •Extract 4
- •I’m absolutely stunned. I’ve never seen anything like this at a press conference. Never!
- •I head toward the back to get another cup of coffee, and find Elly standing by the coffee table. Excellent. I haven’t seen Elly for ages.
- •I’m sorry, but I can’t go and sit back down there. I have to hear about this.
- •Extract 5
- •I stare at him blankly.
- •I have never before worked so hard on an article. Never.
- •I can’t do this. I can’t speak to Luke Brandon. My questions are jotted down on a piece of paper in front of me, but as I stare at them, I’m not reading them.
- •I’ll show Alicia, I think fiercely. I’ll show them all, Luke Brandon included. Show them that I, Rebecca Bloomwood, am not a joke.
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •It’s basically my idea of heaven.
- •I close my eyes and, after a few seconds, feel a cool, creamy liquid being massaged into my face. It’s the most delicious sensation in the world. I could sit here all day.
- •I almost want to laugh at the incongruity of it. What’s she doing here? What’s Alicia Bitch Long-legs doing here, for God’s sake?
- •Is that me? Oh God, I don’t want to be a leading industry expert. I want to go home and watch reruns of The Simpsons.
- •I look around for support and see Rory gazing blankly at me.
- •I watch in a daze as he picks his way across the cable strewn floor toward the exit, half wishing he would look back.
- •Extract 8
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •I’ll just have a really quick look.
- •I mean, what is wrong with these people? Are they complete philistines?
- •Extract 6
- •It’s only as we're approaching a department entitled ‘Gift Wrapping’ that I realize what’s going on. When I said ‘gift’, she must have thought I meant it was an actual–
- •I take the card from her, and as I read, my skin starts to prickle with excitement.
- •Extract 7
- •I stare at him, agog.
- •I can’t tell him I’ve actually got three. And two on hold at Barneys.
- •Extract 2
- •I wish bridesmaids got to say something. It wouldn’t have to be anything very much. Just a quick ‘Yes’ or ‘I do’.
- •I’ve always been a teeny bit awkward around Tarquin. But now I see him with Suze – married to Suze – the awkwardness seems to melt away.
- •Extract 3
- •I glance into the mirror, feeling quite grown-up and proud of myself. For once in my life I’m not rushing. I’m not getting overexcited.
- •I remember that cake. The icing was lurid green and the lawnmower was made out of a painted matchbox. You could still see ‘Swan’ through the green.
- •I have never worn anything less flattering in my life.
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •I’ll be a grown-up, go along to the cake studio and break the news to her face to face.
- •I had no idea wedding cakes could be anything like this. I flip through, slightly dazedly, looking at cake after spectacular cake.
- •I can see Alicia’s brain working hard.
- •I can see Robyn and Antoine exchanging looks, and I’m dying to ask them what they think of Alicia. But... It wouldn’t be becoming in a bride-to-be.
- •If I’m really honest, hand on heart – I feel exactly like someone who’s going to have a huge, luxurious wedding at the Plaza.
- •I put the invitation into my bag and snap the clasp shut, feeling slightly sick.
- •I look at him, my attention finally caught.
- •Extract 8
- •I stare at him in utter stupefaction. What does he think he’s doing?
- •I stare at him in horror.
- •I follow his gaze, and see Danny’s brother Randall walking across the floor towards us.
- •Extract 9
- •I stare at her, momentarily halted.
- •I stare at the page, my heart pounding. It’s a typed sheet, headed terms of agreement. I look straight down to the dotted line at the bottom – and there’s my signature.
- •I haven’t said a word about anything to Luke. In The Realistic Bride it says the way to stop your fiance getting bored with wedding details is to feed them to him on a need-to-know basis.
- •I feel a stab of shock.
- •Extract 10
- •I put the phone down and smile at Robyn, who’s wearing a bright pink suit and a headset and carrying a walkie-talkie.
- •In fact, it’s completely true. I’m beyond nervous. Either everything goes to plan and this all works out. Or it doesn’t and it’s a complete disaster. There’s not much I can do about it.
- •I’ve never seen a wedding dress like it. It’s a work of art.
- •Extract 11
- •I reach out and hug her tightly.
- •I can't move. I can't breathe. I need my fairy godmothers, quick.
- •I don’t believe it. It’s Luke.
- •Extract 12
- •I feel a huge spasm of nerves as I see the familiar sign. We’re nearly there.
- •I’m getting married. I’m really getting married.
- •I freeze in terror, one foot inside the car. What’s happened? Who’s found out? What do they know?
- •I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
- •I feel a spasm of nerves inside. Here it comes. The last bit of my plan. The very last cherry on top of the cake.
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •Extract 8
- •Extract 9
- •Extract 10
- •Extract 11
- •I’m fantastically well-organised, basically. And very self-disciplined. The early bird catches the modeling contracts, after all.
- •Extract 13
- •I am such a deluded moron.
- •Extract 2
- •I draw myself up short with a jolt. “I’m sorry,” I say, and exhale sharply. “You don’t want to hear all this.”
- •Extract 3
- •I bet they do.
- •I was so totally mortified, I never told anyone. Especially not Mum and Dad.
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •I don’t think so.
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •I watch in total disbelief as Jack settles comfortably down on the rug. He was supposed to be rescuing me from all this. Not joining in. Slowly I sink down beside him.
- •I stare at her blankly. Since when have Kerry and I ever socialized together?
- •Extract 8
- •I am never visiting a zoo again.
- •Revenge is Sweet (by c. Fremlin)
- •It worked like a dream, exactly as she’d planned.
- •The Way up to Heaven (by r. Dahl)
- •For Services Rendered (by j. Deaver)
- •I can help you and you can help me...
- •I can help you and you can help me...
- •Makeover (by b. Callahan)
- •Interrupting her in mid sob, Monty said, “Hold on there, Steph. Gotta pay our bills. Time for a commercial.”
Extract 6
‘Hey, guess what,’ I say, suddenly remembering. ‘Suze and I are going to choose a wedding dress tomorrow!’
Luke looks at me in surprise.
‘I thought you were going to wear your mother’s wedding dress.’
‘Yes. Well.’ I pull a sorrowful face. ‘The thing is, there was this awful accident...’
And all I can say is thank God. Thank God for Suze and her well-aimed cup of coffee.
As we approach the window of Dream Dress on Madison Avenue the next morning, I suddenly realize what Mum was asking me to do. How could she want me to wear her frilly monstrosity, instead of one of these gorgeous, amazing, Oscar-winner creations? We open the door and silently look around the hushed showroom, with its champagne-coloured carpet and painted trompe l’oeil clouds on the ceiling – and hanging in gleaming, glittery, sheeny rows on two sides of the room, wedding dresses. I can feel overexcitement rising through me like a fountain. Any minute I might giggle out loud.
‘Rebecca!’ Cynthia has spotted us and is coming forward. ‘I’m so glad you came. Welcome to Dream Dress, where our motto is–’
‘Ooh, I bet I know!’ interrupts Suze. ‘Is it “Live out your dream at Dream Dress”?’
‘No. It’s not.’ Cynthia smiles.
‘Is it “Dreams come true at Dream Dress”?’
‘No.’ Cynthia’s smile tightens slightly. ‘It’s “We’ll find your Dream Dress”.’
‘Oh, lovely!’ Suze nods politely. ‘I thought mine were better,’ she whispers in my ear.
Cynthia ushers us into the hushed room and seats us on a cream sofa. ‘I’ll be with you in a moment,’ she says pleasantly. ‘Have a browse through some magazines meanwhile.’ Suze and I grin excitedly at each other – then she reaches for Contemporary Bride, and I pick up Martha Stewart Weddings.
God, I adore Martha Stewart Weddings.
Secretly, I want to BE Martha Stewart Weddings. I just want to crawl inside the pages with all those beautiful people getting married in Nantucket and South Carolina and riding to the chapel on horses and making their own place-card holders out of frosted russet apples.
I stare at a picture of a wholesome-looking couple standing in a poppy field against a staggeringly beautiful backdrop of mountains. You know, maybe we should get married in a poppy field too, and I could have barley twined round my hair and Luke could make us a loving seat with his own bare hands because his family has worked in woodcrafting for six generations. Then we’d ride back to the house in an old country wagon–
‘What’s “French white-glove service”?’ says Suze, peering puzzledly at an ad.
‘I dunno.’ I glance up dazedly. ‘Hey Suze, look at this. Shall I make my own bouquet?’
‘Do what?’
‘Look!’ I point to the page. ‘You can make your own flowers out of crepe paper for an imaginative and individual bouquet.’
‘You? Make paper flowers?’
‘I could do!’ I say, slightly nettled by her tone. ‘I’m a very creative person, you know.’
‘And what if it rains?’
‘It won’t rain–’ I stop myself abruptly.
I was about to say, ‘It won’t rain in the Plaza.’
‘I just… know it won’t rain,’ I say instead, and quickly turn a page. ‘Ooh, look at those shoes!’
‘Ladies! Let’s begin.’ Cynthia has reappeared, a clipboard in her hand. She sits down on a small gilt chair and we both look at her attentively.
‘Nothing in your life,’ she says, ‘can prepare you for the experience of buying your wedding dress. You may think you know about buying clothes.’ Cynthia gives a little smile and shakes her head. ‘Buying a wedding dress is different. We at Dream Dress like to say, you don’t choose your dress...’
‘Your dress chooses you?’ suggests Suze.
‘No,’ says Cynthia with a flash of annoyance. ‘You don’t choose your dress,’ she repeats, turning to me, ‘you meet your dress. You’ve met your man... now it’s time to meet your dress. And let me assure you, there is a dress waiting for you. It might be the first dress you try on.’ Cynthia gestures to a halter-neck sheath hanging up nearby. ‘It might be the twentieth. But when you put on the right dress... it’ll hit you here.’ She clasps her solar plexus. ‘It’s like falling in love. You’ll know.’
‘Really?’ I look around, feeling tentacles of excitement. ‘How will I know?’
‘Let’s just say... you’ll know.’ She gives me a wise smile. ‘Have you had any ideas at all yet?’
‘Well, obviously I’ve had a few thoughts...’
‘Good! It’s always helpful if we can narrow the search down a little. So before we start, let me ask you a few basic questions.’ She unscrews her pen. ‘Were you after something simple?’
‘Absolutely,’ I say, nodding my head. ‘Really simple and elegant. Or else quite elaborate,’ I add, catching sight of an amazing dress with roses cascading down the back.
‘Right. So... simple or elaborate...’ She scribbles on her clipboard. ‘Did you want beading or embroidery?’
‘Maybe.’
‘OK... Now, sleeves or strapless?’
‘Possibly strapless,’ I say thoughtfully. ‘Or else sleeves.’
‘Did you want a train?’
‘Ooh yes!’
‘But you wouldn’t mind if you didn’t have a train, would you?’ puts in Suze, who is leafing through Wedding Hair. ‘I mean, you could always have one of those really long veils for the procession.’
‘That’s true. But I do like the idea of a train...’ I stare at her, gripped by a sudden thought. ‘Hey Suze, if I waited a couple of years to get married, your baby would be two – and it could hold my train up!’
‘Oh!’ Suze claps her hand over her mouth. ‘That would be so sweet! Except, what if it fell over? Or screamed?’
‘I wouldn’t mind! And we could get it a really gorgeous little outfit...’
‘If we could just get back to the subject...’ Cynthia smiles at us and surveys her clipboard. ‘So we’re after something either simple or elaborate, with sleeves or strapless, possibly with beading and/or embroidery and either with a train or without.’
‘Exactly!’ My eye follows hers around the shop. ‘But you know, I’m quite flexible.’
‘Right.’ Cynthia stares at her notes silently for a few moments. ‘Right,’ she says again. ‘Well, the only way you can know is by trying a few dresses on... so let’s get started!’
Why have I never done this before? Trying on wedding dresses is simply the most fun I’ve had ever, in my whole life. Cynthia shows me into a large fitting room with a gold and white cherub wallpaper and a big mirror and gives me a lacy basque and high satin shoes to out on – and then her assistant brings in dresses in lots of five. I try on silk chiffon sheaths with low backs, ballerina dresses with tight bodices and layers of tulle, dresses made from duchesse satin and lace, starkly plain dresses with dramatic trains, simple dresses, glittery dresses...
‘When you see the right one, you’ll know,’ Cynthia keeps saying as the assistant heaves the hangers up onto the hooks. ‘Just... keep trying.’
‘I will!’ I say happily, as I step into a strapless dress with beaded lace and a swooshy skirt. I come outside and parade around in front of Suze.
‘That’s fantastic!’ she says. ‘Even better than the one with the little straps.’
‘I know! But I still quite like that one with the lace sleeves off the shoulder...’ I stare critically at myself. ‘How many have I tried on now?’
‘That takes us up to... thirty-five,’ says Cynthia, looking at her list.
‘And how many have I marked so far as possibles?’
‘Thirty-two.’
‘Really?’ I look up in surprise. ‘Which ones didn’t I like?’
‘The two pink dresses and the coat dress.’
‘Oh no, I still quite like the coat dress. Put it down as a possible.’ I parade a bit more, then glance around the shop, trying to see if there’s anything I haven’t looked at yet. I stop in front of a rail of baby flower-girls’ dresses and sigh, slightly more heavily than I meant to. ‘God, it’s tricky, isn’t it? I mean... one dress. One.’
‘I don’t think Becky’s ever bought one thing before,’ says Suze to Cynthia. ‘It’s a bit of a culture shock.’
‘I don’t see why you can’t wear more than one. I mean, it’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life isn’t it? You should be allowed five dresses.’
‘That would be cool!’ says Suze. ‘You could have a really sweet romantic one for walking in, then a more elegant one to walk out... then one for cocktails...’
‘And a really sexy one for dancing... and another one for...’
‘For Luke to rip off you,’ says Suze, her eyes gleaming.
‘Ladies,’ says Cynthia, giving a little laugh. ‘Rebecca. I know it’s hard... but you are going to have to choose sometime! For a June wedding, you’re already leaving it very late.’
‘How can I be leaving it late?’ I say in astonishment. ‘I’ve only just got engaged!’
Cynthia shakes her head.
‘In wedding-dress terms, that’s late. What we recommend is that if brides think they may have a short engagement, they begin to look for a dress before they get engaged.’
‘Oh God.’ I give a gusty sigh. ‘I had no idea it was all going to be so difficult.’
‘Try on that one at the end,’ suggests Suze. ‘The one with the chiffon trumpet sleeves. You haven’t tried that, have you?’
‘Oh,’ I say, looking at it in surprise. ‘No, I haven’t.’
I carry the dress back to the fitting room, clamber out of the swooshy skirt, and step into it.
It hugs my waist, skims sleekly over my hips, and falls to the floor in a tiny, rippling train. The neckline flatters my face, and the colour is just right against my skin. It feels good. It looks good.
‘Hey,’ says Suze, sitting up as I come out. ‘Now, that’s nice.’
‘It is, isn’t it?’ I say, stepping up onto the podium.
I stare at my reflection and feel a little glow of pleasure. It’s a simple dress – but I look fantastic in it. It makes me look really thin! It makes my skin look radiant and... God, maybe this is the one!
There’s silence in the shop.
‘Do you feel it here?’ says Cynthia, clutching her stomach. ‘I don’t know! I think so!’ I give an excited laugh.
‘I think I might do!’
‘I knew it. You see? When you find the right dress, it just hits you. You can’t plan for it, you can’t work it out on paper. You just know when it’s right.’
‘I’ve found my wedding dress!’ I beam at Suze. ‘I’ve found it!’
‘At last!’ There’s a ring of relief to Cynthia’s voice. ‘Let’s all have a glass of champagne to celebrate!’
As she disappears I admire myself again. It just shows, you can’t tell. Who would have thought I’d go for trumpet sleeves?
An assistant carries past another dress and I catch sight of an embroidered silk corset bodice, tied up with ribbons.
‘Hey, that looks nice,’ I say. ‘What’s that?’
‘Never mind what that is!’ says Cynthia, returning and handing me a glass of champagne. ‘You’ve found your dress!’ She lifts her glass, but I’m still looking at the ribboned bodice.
‘Maybe I should just try that one on. Just quickly.’
‘You know what I was thinking?’ says Suze, looking up from Brides. ‘Maybe you should have a dress which isn’t a wedding dress. Like a colour!’
‘Wow!’ I stare at Suze, my imagination gripped. ‘Like red or something.’
‘Or a trouser suit!’ suggests Suze, showing me a magazine picture. ‘Don’t those look cool!’
‘But you’ve found your dress!’ chips in Cynthia, her voice slightly shrill. ‘You don’t need to look any further! This is The One!’
‘Mmm...’ I pull a tiny face. ‘You know... I’m not so sure it is.’
Cynthia stares at me and for an awful moment I think she’s going to throw the champagne at me. ‘I thought this was the dress of your dreams!’
‘It’s the dress of some of my dreams,’ I explain. ‘I have a lot of dreams. Could we put it down as another possible?’
‘Right,’ she says at last. ‘Another possible. I’ll just write that down.’
As she walks off, Suze leans back on the sofa and beams at me. ‘Oh Bex, it’s going to be so romantic! Tarkie and I went to look at the church you’re getting married in. It’s beautiful!’
‘It is nice,’ I agree, quelling an automatic wave of guilt.
Although why should I feel guilty? Nothing’s been decided yet. I haven’t definitely chosen the Plaza. We still might get married in Oxshott.
Maybe.
‘Your mum’s planning to put this gorgeous arch of roses over the gate, and bunches of roses on all the pews... and then everyone will get a rose buttonhole. She thought maybe yellow, but it depends on the other colours...’
‘Oh, right. Well, I’m not really sure yet...’ I tail off as I see the shop door opening behind me.
Robyn is coming in, dressed in a mauve suit and clutching her Coach bag. She catches my eye in the mirror and gives a little wave.
What’s Robyn doing here?
‘And then on the tables, maybe some tiny posies...’
Robyn’s heading towards us. I’m not sure I like this.
‘Hey, Suze!’ I turn with what I hope is a natural smile. ‘Why don’t you go and look at those... um... ring cushions over there?’
‘What?’ Suze stares at me as though I’ve gone mad. ‘You’re not having a ring cushion, are you? Please don’t tell me you’ve turned into an American.’
‘Well then... the tiaras. I might have one of those!’
‘Bex, what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing!’ I say brightly. ‘I just thought you might want to... oh, hi Robyn!’ As she approaches, I force myself to give her a friendly smile.
‘Becky!’ says Robyn, clasping her hands. ‘Isn’t that own beautiful? Don’t you look adorable? Is that the one, do you think?’
‘I’m not sure yet.’ My smile is so fixed, it s hurting. ‘So Robyn, how on earth did you know I’d be here? You must be telepathic!’
‘Cynthia told me you’d be coming in. She’s an old friend.’ Robyn turns to Suze. ‘And is this your chum from England?’
‘Oh… yes. Suze, Robyn, Robyn, Suze.’
‘Suze? The maid of honour herself? Oh, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Suze! You’ll look simply wonderful in–’ She stops abruptly as her gaze takes in Suze’s stomach. ‘Dear, are you expecting?’
‘I’ll have had the baby by then,’ Suze assures her.
‘Good!’ Robyn’s face relaxes. ‘As I say, you’ll look wonderful in violet!’
‘Violet?’ Suze looks confused. ‘I thought I was wearing blue.’
‘No, definitely violet!’
‘Bex, I’m sure your mum said–’
‘Well, anyway!’ I interrupt hurriedly. ‘Robyn, I’m a bit tied up here–’
‘I know, and I don’t want to get in your way. But since I’m here, there’s just a couple of things... Two seconds, I promise!’ She reaches into her bag and pulls out her notebook. ‘First of all, we’ve confirmed the band, and they’ll be sending over a list of numbers for you to approve. Now, what else...’ She consults her notebook.
‘Great!’ I dart a quick glance at Suze, who’s staring at Robyn with a puzzled frown. ‘You know, maybe you should just give me a call sometime, and we can talk about all this...’
‘It won’t take long! So the other thing was... we’ve scheduled in a tasting at the Plaza on the 23rd in the chef s dining room. I passed on your views on monkish, so they’re having a rethink on that...’ Robyn flips a Page. ‘Oh, and I still really need that guest list from you!’ She looks up and wags her finger in mock reproof ‘We’ll be needing to think about invitations before we know it! Especially for the overseas guests!’
‘OK. I’ll... I’ll get onto it,’ I mumble.
I don’t dare look at Suze.
‘Great! And I’m meeting you at Antoine’s on Monday, ten o’clock. Those cakes... you are going to swoon. Now I have to run.’ She closes her notebook and smiles at Suze. ‘Nice to meet you, Suze. See you at the wedding!’
‘See you there!’ says Suze in a too-cheerful voice. ‘Absolutely.’
The door closes behind Robyn and I swallow hard, my face still tingling.
‘So, ahm... I might as well get changed.’
I head to the fitting room without meeting Suze’s eye. A moment later, she’s in there with me. ‘Who was that?’ she says lightly, as I unzip the dress.
‘That was... Robyn! She’s nice, isn’t she?’
‘And what was she talking about?’
‘Just... wedding chit-chat... you know... Can you help me out of this corset?’
‘Why does she think you’re getting married at the Plaza?’
‘I... um... I don’t know!’
‘Yes you do! And that woman at the party!’ Suddenly Suze’s voice is as severe as she can manage. ‘Bex, what’s going on?’
‘Nothing!’
Suze grabs my shoulder.
‘Bex, stop it! You’re not getting married at the Plaza, are you?’
I stare at her, feeling my face grow hotter and hotter.
‘It’s... an option,’ I say at last.
‘What do you mean, it’s an option?’ Suze stares at me, her grip on me loosening. ‘How can it be an option?’
I adjust the dress on the hanger, playing for time, trying to stifle the guilt rising inside me. If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be.
‘It’s just that... well, Elinor’s offered to throw this really spectacular wedding for me and Luke. And I haven’t quite decided whether or not to take it up.’ I see Suze’s expression. ‘What?’
‘What do you mean “what?” ’ expostulates Suze. ‘What about a) your mum’s already organizing you a wedding? What about b) Elinor is a complete cow? What about c) you’ve gone off your head? Why on earth would you want to get married at the Plaza?’
‘Because... because...’ I close my eyes briefly. ‘Suze, you have to see it. We’re going to have a great big string orchestra, and caviar, and an oyster bar... and Tiffany frames for everyone on the tables... and Cristal champagne... and the whole place will be this magical enchanted forest, and we’re going to have real birch trees and songbirds...’
‘Real birch trees?’ Suze pulls a face. ‘What do you want those for?’
‘It’s going to be like the Sleeping Beauty! And I’m going to be the princess, and Luke’s going to be the...’ I tail off feebly to see Suze staring at me reproachfully.
‘What about your mum?’
There’s silence, and I pretend to be preoccupied unhooking my basque. I don’t want to have to think about Mum right at the moment.
‘Bex! What about your mum?’
‘I’ll just have to... talk her round,’ I say at last.
‘Talk her round.’
‘She said herself I shouldn’t do the wedding by halves!’ I say defensively. ‘If she came and saw the Plaza, and saw all the plans–’
But she’s done such a lot of preparation already! When we were there she could talk about nothing else. Her and – what’s your neighbour called?’
‘Janice.’
That’s right. They’re calling your kitchen the control centre. There’s about six pinboards up, and lists, and bits of material everywhere... And they’re so happy doing it.’ Suze stares at me earnestly. ‘Becky, you can’t just tell them it’s all off. You can’t.’
‘Elinor would fly them over!’ There’s a guilty edge to my voice which I pretend I can’t hear. ‘They’d have a fantastic time! It would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience for them, too! They could stay in the Plaza, and dance all night, and see New York... They’d have the most fabulous holiday ever!’
‘Have you said this to your mum?’
‘No. I... I haven’t told her anything about it. Not yet. There’s no point bringing it up until I’m a hundred per cent sure.’ There’s a pause while Suze’s eyes narrow.
‘Bex, you are going to do something about this soon, aren’t you?’ she says suddenly. ‘You’re not just going to bury your head in the sand and pretend it isn’t happening.’
‘Honestly! I wouldn’t do that!’ I say indignantly.
‘This is me, remember!’ exclaims Suze. ‘Bex, I know what you’re like! You used to throw all your bank statements into a skip and hope a complete stranger would pay off your bills!’
This is what happens. You tell your friends your most personal secrets, and they use them against you.
‘I’ve grown up a lot since then,’ I say, trying to sound dignified. ‘And I will sort it out. I just need to... to think it through.’
There’s a long silence. Outside, I can hear Cynthia saying, ‘Here at Dream Dress, our motto is, you don’t choose your dress...’
‘Look, Bex,’ says Suze at last. ‘I can’t make this decision for you. No-one can. All I can say is, if you’re going to pull out of your mum’s wedding, you’re going to have to do it quickly.’
The Pines
43 Elton Koad
Oxshott
Surrey
FAX MESSAGE
TO BECKY BLOOMWOOD
FROM MUM
20 March 2002
Becky, darling! Wonderful news!
You might have heard that Suzie spilt her coffee all over the wedding dress. She was devastated, poor thing.
But I took the dress to the cleaners... and they worked miracles! It’s as white as snow again and you’ll be able to wear it after all!
Much love and talk soon Mum xxxxxxxxx
OK. Suze is right. I can’t dither any more. I have to decide.
The day after she’s left to go home I sit down in my fitting room at lunchtime with a piece of paper and a pen. I’m just going to have to do this logically. Work out the pros and cons, weigh them all up – and make a rational decision. Right. Let’s go.
For Oxshott
1. Mum will be happy.
2. Dad will be happy.
3. It’ll be a lovely wedding.
I stare at the list for a few seconds – then make a new heading.
For New York
1. I get to have the most amazing wedding in the world.
Oh God. I bury my head in my hands. It isn’t any easier on paper.
In fact it’s harder, because it’s thrusting the dilemma right in my face, instead of where I want it – which is in a little box at the back of my mind where I don’t have to look at it.