- •I type a full stop, take a sip of coffee, and turn to the second page of the press release.
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •I should say something. I should say, “Janice, I don’t fancy Tom. He’s too tall and his breath smells.” But how on earth can I say that?
- •Extract 4
- •I’m absolutely stunned. I’ve never seen anything like this at a press conference. Never!
- •I head toward the back to get another cup of coffee, and find Elly standing by the coffee table. Excellent. I haven’t seen Elly for ages.
- •I’m sorry, but I can’t go and sit back down there. I have to hear about this.
- •Extract 5
- •I stare at him blankly.
- •I have never before worked so hard on an article. Never.
- •I can’t do this. I can’t speak to Luke Brandon. My questions are jotted down on a piece of paper in front of me, but as I stare at them, I’m not reading them.
- •I’ll show Alicia, I think fiercely. I’ll show them all, Luke Brandon included. Show them that I, Rebecca Bloomwood, am not a joke.
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •It’s basically my idea of heaven.
- •I close my eyes and, after a few seconds, feel a cool, creamy liquid being massaged into my face. It’s the most delicious sensation in the world. I could sit here all day.
- •I almost want to laugh at the incongruity of it. What’s she doing here? What’s Alicia Bitch Long-legs doing here, for God’s sake?
- •Is that me? Oh God, I don’t want to be a leading industry expert. I want to go home and watch reruns of The Simpsons.
- •I look around for support and see Rory gazing blankly at me.
- •I watch in a daze as he picks his way across the cable strewn floor toward the exit, half wishing he would look back.
- •Extract 8
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •I’ll just have a really quick look.
- •I mean, what is wrong with these people? Are they complete philistines?
- •Extract 6
- •It’s only as we're approaching a department entitled ‘Gift Wrapping’ that I realize what’s going on. When I said ‘gift’, she must have thought I meant it was an actual–
- •I take the card from her, and as I read, my skin starts to prickle with excitement.
- •Extract 7
- •I stare at him, agog.
- •I can’t tell him I’ve actually got three. And two on hold at Barneys.
- •Extract 2
- •I wish bridesmaids got to say something. It wouldn’t have to be anything very much. Just a quick ‘Yes’ or ‘I do’.
- •I’ve always been a teeny bit awkward around Tarquin. But now I see him with Suze – married to Suze – the awkwardness seems to melt away.
- •Extract 3
- •I glance into the mirror, feeling quite grown-up and proud of myself. For once in my life I’m not rushing. I’m not getting overexcited.
- •I remember that cake. The icing was lurid green and the lawnmower was made out of a painted matchbox. You could still see ‘Swan’ through the green.
- •I have never worn anything less flattering in my life.
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •I’ll be a grown-up, go along to the cake studio and break the news to her face to face.
- •I had no idea wedding cakes could be anything like this. I flip through, slightly dazedly, looking at cake after spectacular cake.
- •I can see Alicia’s brain working hard.
- •I can see Robyn and Antoine exchanging looks, and I’m dying to ask them what they think of Alicia. But... It wouldn’t be becoming in a bride-to-be.
- •If I’m really honest, hand on heart – I feel exactly like someone who’s going to have a huge, luxurious wedding at the Plaza.
- •I put the invitation into my bag and snap the clasp shut, feeling slightly sick.
- •I look at him, my attention finally caught.
- •Extract 8
- •I stare at him in utter stupefaction. What does he think he’s doing?
- •I stare at him in horror.
- •I follow his gaze, and see Danny’s brother Randall walking across the floor towards us.
- •Extract 9
- •I stare at her, momentarily halted.
- •I stare at the page, my heart pounding. It’s a typed sheet, headed terms of agreement. I look straight down to the dotted line at the bottom – and there’s my signature.
- •I haven’t said a word about anything to Luke. In The Realistic Bride it says the way to stop your fiance getting bored with wedding details is to feed them to him on a need-to-know basis.
- •I feel a stab of shock.
- •Extract 10
- •I put the phone down and smile at Robyn, who’s wearing a bright pink suit and a headset and carrying a walkie-talkie.
- •In fact, it’s completely true. I’m beyond nervous. Either everything goes to plan and this all works out. Or it doesn’t and it’s a complete disaster. There’s not much I can do about it.
- •I’ve never seen a wedding dress like it. It’s a work of art.
- •Extract 11
- •I reach out and hug her tightly.
- •I can't move. I can't breathe. I need my fairy godmothers, quick.
- •I don’t believe it. It’s Luke.
- •Extract 12
- •I feel a huge spasm of nerves as I see the familiar sign. We’re nearly there.
- •I’m getting married. I’m really getting married.
- •I freeze in terror, one foot inside the car. What’s happened? Who’s found out? What do they know?
- •I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
- •I feel a spasm of nerves inside. Here it comes. The last bit of my plan. The very last cherry on top of the cake.
- •Extract 2
- •Extract 3
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •Extract 8
- •Extract 9
- •Extract 10
- •Extract 11
- •I’m fantastically well-organised, basically. And very self-disciplined. The early bird catches the modeling contracts, after all.
- •Extract 13
- •I am such a deluded moron.
- •Extract 2
- •I draw myself up short with a jolt. “I’m sorry,” I say, and exhale sharply. “You don’t want to hear all this.”
- •Extract 3
- •I bet they do.
- •I was so totally mortified, I never told anyone. Especially not Mum and Dad.
- •Extract 4
- •Extract 5
- •I don’t think so.
- •Extract 6
- •Extract 7
- •I watch in total disbelief as Jack settles comfortably down on the rug. He was supposed to be rescuing me from all this. Not joining in. Slowly I sink down beside him.
- •I stare at her blankly. Since when have Kerry and I ever socialized together?
- •Extract 8
- •I am never visiting a zoo again.
- •Revenge is Sweet (by c. Fremlin)
- •It worked like a dream, exactly as she’d planned.
- •The Way up to Heaven (by r. Dahl)
- •For Services Rendered (by j. Deaver)
- •I can help you and you can help me...
- •I can help you and you can help me...
- •Makeover (by b. Callahan)
- •Interrupting her in mid sob, Monty said, “Hold on there, Steph. Gotta pay our bills. Time for a commercial.”
I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
‘So,’ says Luke. He leans back on his elbows and stares up at the darkening blue sky. ‘We made it.’
‘We made it.’ My garland of flowers is starting to fall down over one eye, so I carefully unpin it and place it on the grass. ‘And no casualties.’
‘You know... I feel as though the past few weeks have been a weird dream,’ says Luke. ‘I’ve been in my own, preoccupied world, with no idea what was happening in real life.’ He shakes his head. ‘I think I nearly went off the rails back then.’
‘Nearly?’
‘OK, then. I did go off the rails.’ He turns to look at me, his dark eyes glowing in the light from the marquee. ‘I owe a lot to you, Becky.’
‘You don’t owe me anything,’ I say in surprise. ‘We’re married now. It’s like... everything’s a joint account.’
There’s a rumbling sound from the side of the house, and I look up to see Dad loading our suitcases into the car. All ready for us to go.
‘So,’ says Luke, following my gaze. ‘Our famous honeymoon. Am I allowed to know where we’re going yet? Or is it still a secret?’
I feel a spasm of nerves inside. Here it comes. The last bit of my plan. The very last cherry on top of the cake.
‘OK,’ I say, and take a deep breath. ‘Here goes. I’ve been thinking a lot about us, recently, Luke. About being married, about where we should live. Whether we should stay in New York or not. What we should do...’ I pause, carefully marshalling my words. ‘And what I’ve realized is... I’m not ready to settle down. Tom and Lucy tried to settle down too early, and just look what happened to them. And I adore little Ernie, but seeing what it was like for Suze... It made me realize I’m not ready for a baby, either. Not yet.’ I look up apprehensively. ‘Luke, there are so many things I’ve never done. I’ve never really travelled. I’ve never seen the world. Neither have you.’
‘You’ve lived in New York,’ points out Luke.
‘New York is a great city and I do love it. But there are other great cities, all over the world. I want to see those, too. Sydney. Hong Kong... and not just cities!’ I spread my arms. ‘Rivers... mountains... all the sights of the world...’
‘Right,’ says Luke amusedly. ‘So, narrowing all this down to one honeymoon...’
‘OK.’ I swallow hard. ‘Here’s what I’ve done. I’ve cashed in all the wedding presents we got in New York. Stupid silver candlesticks and teapots and stuff. And I’ve... I’ve bought us two first-class tickets round the world.’
‘Round the world?’ Luke looks genuinely taken aback. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes! Round the world!’ I plait my fingers together tightly. ‘We can take as long as we like. As little as three weeks, or as long as...’ I look at him, tense with hope. ‘A year.’
‘A year?’ Luke stares back at me. ‘You’re joking.’
‘I’m not joking. I’ve told Christina I may or may not come back to work at Barneys. She’s fine about it. Danny will clear out our apartment for us and put it all in storage–’
‘Becky!’ says Luke, shaking his head. ‘It’s a nice idea. But I can’t possibly just up sticks and–’
‘You can. You can! It’s all set up. Michael will keep an eye on the New York office. The London office is running itself, anyway. Luke, you can do it. Everyone thinks you should.’
Simply Divine (by W. Holden)
Extract 1
Jane tried to pin down the exact moment when she realised Nick didn’t fancy her any more. If she was honest, it was about six months ago. Around the time she had moved into his flat in Clapham.
‘Are you sure it’s a good idea?’ Tally had cautiously asked at the time.
‘Of course!’ Offended, Jane had rebuffed her best friend’s obvious conviction that it wasn’t with all the brio she could muster. ‘Nick needs me,’ she had explained. Tally looked unconvinced.
‘Are you sure he doesn’t just need you to pay half the mortgage?’ she asked gently.
Jane winced. Nick was not exactly famous for his generosity. Tighter than a gnat’s arse, if she was to be frank. Last Christmas she had bought him a Ralph Lauren bathrobe and a Versace shirt. Nick had reciprocated with a twig pencil and a teddy bear which had been a free gift from the petrol station.
‘Honestly, Jane,’ Tally went on, exasperated, her big grey eyes wide with sincerity, ‘you’ve got so much going for you. You’re so pretty, and funny, and clever. I just don’t understand why you’re throwing yourself away on him. He’s so rude.’
Tally was right. Nick was rude, especially after a few drinks, and especially to Tally. The fact that she was grand and had grown up in a stately home brought Nick out in a positive rash of social inferiority.
But it was all very well for Tally to be censorious, she thought defensively as she burrowed yet further beneath the duvet. It was just fine for Tally to declare she was holding out for Mr Right. Or Lord Right probably, in her case. She didn’t understand that relationships simply weren’t that straightforward. They didn’t just happen. You had to work with what you had, particularly if you were twenty-four and didn’t want to be a spinster at thirty.
‘You’ll be saying you want to marry him next,’ Tally had almost wailed. Jane judged it injudicious to confess that this was die whole point of her moving in. Not that it had worked. On the contrary, judging by present form, Nick’s plighting his troth looked more unlikely than ever. Plighting his sloth, however, had been the work of seconds.
Once Jane was on site, Nick had seen no further point in squandering both time and money on trendy restaurants when there was a perfectly good TV at home to eat Pot Noodles in front of. Similarly, all trips to cinemas, bars, concerts and parties had come to an abrupt end now that they no longer needed to leave the flat to meet each other.
Jane’s evenings consequently divided themselves between working out how to fit her clothes into the minute amount of wardrobe space Nick had allocated her and scenting and oiling herself in the grubby little bath that no amount of Mr Muscle made the faintest impression on. She, at least, was determined to keep up her standards.