- •New moon
- •Isbn-10 0-316-16019-9
- •I couldn't really see Edward's point, to be honest. What was so great about mortality? Being a vampire didn't look like such a terrible thing—not the way the Cullens did it, anyway.
- •I rolled my eyes. "Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?"
- •I sighed. "Do you want me to watch this alone?"
- •I twisted around so that I could read his face. "What are you talking about?" I demanded. "What do you mean, this something you had to think about once?"
- •I turned the camera on Edward, and snapped the first picture. "It works."
- •It was a hundred times worse than I'd imagined.
- •2 Stitches
- •I winced as Carlisle did something to my arm that stung.
- •If she hadn't been in my line of sight, I wouldn't have noticed Alice give up and steal out of the room. With a tiny, apologetic smile on her lips, she disappeared through the kitchen doorway.
- •I mulled that over while he poked around, making sure all the glass splinters were gone. Then he rummaged in his bag for new tools, and I tried not to picture a needle and thread.
- •I collapsed back onto my pillow, gasping, my head spinning. Something tugged at my memory, elusive, on the edges.
- •It was hard to even remember the reason for all this mess. My birthday already felt like the distant past. If only Alice would come back. Soon. Before this got any more out of hand.
- •I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to. I didn't like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again.
- •I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask.
- •I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.
- •It was black for a long time before I heard them calling.
- •I nodded and closed my eyes obediently.
- •I could tell he didn't want to answer. He looked at the floor under his knees. "They're celebrating the news." His tone was bitter.
- •I shook my head, recoiling. The sound of his name unleashed the thing that was clawing inside of me—a pain that knocked me breathless, astonished me with its force.
- •I sighed. "Then tell me what you do want me to do."
- •I glowered at him. The heat almost, but not quite, reached my face. It had been a long time since I'd blushed with any emotion.
- •I grasped at the promising title. "What's that one about?"
- •I smiled back, and something clicked silently into place, like two corresponding puzzle pieces. I'd forgotten how much I really liked Jacob Black.
- •6. Friends
- •I nodded. "Nice to meet you, too."
- •I shook my head. "No way. I'm bankrolling this party. You just have to supply the labor and expertise."
- •I jumped up to help Jacob put things away, hesitating because I wasn't sure what I should touch.
- •I nodded, trying to look embarrassed. "It was pretty scary."
- •I was hoping that déjà vu was the key. So I was going to his home, a place I hadn't been since my ill-fated birthday party, so many months ago.
- •I didn't answer right away, either, and he glanced up to check my expression.
- •I was surprised to hear Sam Uley's name. I didn't want it to bring back the images from my nightmare, so I made a quick observation to distract myself. "You don't like them very much."
- •I spoke quickly again to divert myself from the bleak memories. "Isn't Sam a little too old for this kind of thing?"
- •I stared at Jacob, biting my lip anxiously—he was really frightened. But he didn't look at me. He watched his own foot kicking the rubber as if it belonged to someone else. The tempo increased.
- •It took four more kicks before the ignition caught. I could feel the bike rumbling beneath me like an angry animal. I gripped the clutch until my fingers ached.
- •It distracted me enough from the speed to realize that the road was starting a slow curve to the left, and I was still going straight. Jacob hadn't told me how to turn.
- •I was dizzy and confused. It sounded like there were three things snarling—the bike over me, the voice in my head, and something else…
- •I clapped my hand over my head. Sure enough, it was wet and sticky. I could smell nothing but the damp moss on my face, and that held off the nausea.
- •I laughed too, glad to have Jacob back to normal.
- •I yanked my hand back and stomped around to the driver's side while he chuckled at my reaction.
- •In the end, though, the Suburban wasn't necessary.
- •I raised one eyebrow. "Some people are hard to discourage."
- •I could barely hear his answer. "I don't think I have the same thing you did."
- •10. The meadow
- •I stood for a moment with the phone still in my hand.
- •It was an irrational response. I probably should have stopped at fear.
- •I couldn't swallow. My foot started to ease back, but I froze when his red eyes flickered down to catch the movement.
- •I staggered back another step. The frantic growling in my head made it hard to hear.
- •I shook my head, though I must have been starving. I hadn't eaten all day.
- •I crossed over to the wrong side of the road to stop next to him. He looked up when the roar of my truck approached.
- •I chased him back to the truck. "Wait!" I called as he turned toward the house.
- •I didn't believe that this was really what Jacob wanted to say. It seemed like there was something else trying to be said through his angry eyes, but I couldn't understand the message.
- •I blinked twice, trying to clear my head. I was so tired. Nothing he said made sense.
- •I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. "You asked about my truck…"
- •I clutched my head in my hands, trying to keep it from exploding.
- •I thought about that carefully. "When you were mad before… when I was yelling at you… and you were shaking… ?"
- •It wasn't over.
- •I started the truck and headed back up the road.
- •In the same second, Jacob was running across the road straight for the monster.
- •I turned to stare at him—my wide eyes felt frozen, like I couldn't even blink them.
- •I frowned at him. "Why would I stare?"
- •I noticed that Emily didn't particularly like that Sam would be in the smaller grouping. Her worry had me glancing up at Jacob, worrying, too.
- •It did mean something to me. I couldn't imagine that—the wolves running faster than a vampire. When the Cullens ran, they all but turned invisible with speed.
- •I hesitated a second. This felt like a question he would ask of his spy, not his friend. But what was the point of hiding what I knew? It didn't matter now, and it would help him control himself.
- •I shivered.
- •16. Paris
- •I could not obey. The waterfall pouring from my mouth didn't stop long enough for me to catch a breath. The black, icy water filled my chest, burning.
- •I realized that I was still. There was no tug of the current on me—the heaving was inside my head. The surface under me was flat and motionless. It felt grainy against my bare arms.
- •I tried to open my eyes. It took me a minute, but then I could see the dark, purple clouds, flinging the freezing rain down at me. "Jake?" I croaked.
- •I tried to read his expression, squinting into the hammering rain. His eyes were tight with worry or pain.
- •I swallowed hard.
- •I nodded sheepishly.
- •I sighed and let my head hang back, staring at the ceiling. "That's going to be a problem."
- •I could almost see him shuddering. I shuddered, too, remembering. And then I sighed. I hadn't fooled him at all, not for one second.
- •I didn't know what to say, and, after a short pause, Alice moved on to lighter topics.
- •I ground my teeth. "She's not here. Do you need something?"
- •I locked gazes with first Jared and then Embry—I didn't like the hard way they eyed me; did they really think I would let anything hurt Jacob?—before I shut the door on them.
- •I followed him. He paced back and forth along the short counter.
- •I recovered myself and held out my hand for the phone. Jacob ignored me.
- •It took the length of one heartbeat for me to comprehend.
- •I stared at her with my jaw clenched in frustration. I'd heard nothing yet that would explain why we were still standing here.
- •I shook my head, tears spattering from my eyes with the sharp motion. I pulled my arm free, and he didn't fight me.
- •I realized why her eyes begged for my understanding. She was protecting Jasper, at our expense, and maybe at Edward's, too. I understood, and I did not think badly of her. I nodded.
- •I ground my teeth in mute frustration.
- •I leaned closer to Alice. Her lips were at my ears as she breathed the story.
- •I thought about it. "Nope, I have no idea."
- •I shrugged.
- •I rested my head against the seat, watching her, and the next thing I knew, she was snapping the shade closed against the faint brightening in the eastern sky.
- •I ran to the door and threw myself in, feeling as though I might as well be wearing a black stocking over my head.
- •It was crowded, and the foot traffic slowed our progress.
- •I peeked under Edward's other arm to see a small, dark shape coming toward us. By the way the edges billowed, I knew it would be another one of them. Who else?
- •21 Verdict
- •In the middle of the room was a high, polished mahogany counter. I gawked in astonishment at the woman behind it.
- •I wanted to groan when Edward pulled me through to the other side of the door. It was the same ancient stone as the square, the alley, and the sewers. And it was dark and cold again.
- •I realized, a second late, that Marcus was letting Aro know his thoughts.
- •I looked at Marcus's dead face, and I believed that.
- •I turned back to Aro and raised my hand slowly in front of me. It was trembling.
- •I could barely hear Aro over Edward's furious growls. He let go of me, moving to hide me from their view. Caius ghosted in our direction, with his entourage, to watch.
- •It was the white-haired Caius who broke the silence.
- •I stared up at her, frightened, but she only seemed chagrined. It was then that I first heard the babble of voices—loud, rough voices—coming from the antechamber.
- •22 Flight
- •I was relieved there was another way out; I wasn't sure if I could handle another tour through the underground.
- •I stretched as he spoke. I was so stiff.
- •I groaned. "Fabulous."
- •I'd really been hoping to put off this part of our last conversation. It was going to bring things to an end so much sooner.
- •I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes.
- •I stared at him darkly for a long moment. "The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you—and there's nothing you can do about it!"
- •I wanted to believe him. But this was my life without him that he was describing, not the other way around.
- •I asked a different one. Almost—but not quite—as hard.
- •I rolled my eyes. "The worst the Volturi can do is kill me."
- •I liked the idea of time. "Okay," I agreed.
- •I only wanted to take away the agony in his eyes, but as I spoke the words, they sounded truer than I expected they would.
- •I wasn't sure how to explain. "Do you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?"
- •I thought of that night in Port Angeles when I'd had my first delusion. I'd come up with two options. Insanity or wish fulfillment. I'd seen no third option.
- •I was deeply relieved that he really seemed to understand—comforted that this all made sense to him. At any rate, he wasn't looking at me like I was crazy. He was looking at me like… he loved me.
- •I shuddered. He took that as a yes.
- •I filled my cheeks with air and then blew it out noisily. "I don't know what to tell you, Dad. It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand."
- •I interrupted him. "Another misunderstanding."
- •I'd varied my pattern, in hopes of a different response. I'd called Jake from work this time, only to get an unhelpful Billy. Again.
I stared up at her, frightened, but she only seemed chagrined. It was then that I first heard the babble of voices—loud, rough voices—coming from the antechamber.
"Well this is unusual," a man's coarse voice boomed.
"So medieval," an unpleasantly shrill, female voice gushed back.
A large crowd was coming through the little door, filling the smaller stone chamber. Demetri motioned for us to make room. We pressed back against the cold wall to let them pass.
The couple in front, Americans from the sound of them, glanced around themselves with appraising eyes.
"Welcome, guests! Welcome to Volterra!" I could hear Aro sing from the big turret room.
The rest of them, maybe forty or more, filed in after the couple. Some studied the setting like tourists. A few even snapped pictures. Others looked confused, as if the story that had led them to this room was not making sense anymore. I noticed one small, dark woman in particular. Around her neck was a rosary, and she gripped the cross tightly in one hand. She walked more slowly than the others, touching someone now and then and asking a question in an unfamiliar language. No one seemed to understand her, and her voice grew more panicked.
Edward pulled my face against his chest, but it was too late. I already understood.
As soon as the smallest break appeared, Edward pushed me quickly toward the door. I could feel the horrified expression on my face, and the tears beginning to pool in my eyes.
The ornate golden hallway was quiet, empty except for one gorgeous, statuesque woman. She stared at us curiously, me in particular.
"Welcome home, Heidi," Demetri greeted her from behind us.
Heidi smiled absently. She reminded me of Rosalie, though they looked nothing alike—it was just that her beauty, too, was exceptional, unforgettable. I couldn't seem to look away.
She was dressed to emphasize that beauty. Her amazingly long legs, darkened with tights, were exposed by the shortest of miniskirts. Her top was long-sleeved and high-necked, but extremely close-fitting, and constructed of red vinyl. Her long mahogany hair was lustrous, and her eyes were the strangest shade of violet—a color that might result from blue-tinted contacts over red irises.
"Demetri," she responded in a silky voice, her eyes flickering between my face and Edward's gray cloak.
"Nice fishing," Demetri complimented her, and I suddenly understood the attention-grabbing outfit she wore… she was not only the fisherman, but also the bait.
"Thanks." She flashed a stunning smile. "Aren't you coming?"
"In a minute. Save a few for me."
Heidi nodded and ducked through the door with one last curious look at me.
Edward set a pace that had me running to keep up. But we still couldn't get through the ornate door at the end of the hallway before the screaming started.
22 Flight
DEMETRI LEFT US IN THE CHEERFULLY OPULENT RECEPTION area, where the woman Gianna was still at her post behind the polished counter. Bright, harmless music tinkled from hidden speakers.
"Do not leave until dark," he warned us.
Edward nodded, and Demetri hurried away.
Gianna did not seem at all surprised by the exchange, though she did eye Edward's borrowed cloak with shrewd speculation.
"Are you all right?" Edward asked under his breath, to low for the human woman to hear. His voice was rough—if velvet can be rough—with anxiety. Still stressed by our situation, I imagined.
"You'd better make her sit before she falls," Alice said. "She's going to pieces."
It was only then that I realize I was shaking, shaking hard, my entire frame vibrating until my teeth chattered and the room around me seemed to wobble and blur in my eyes. For one wild second, I wondered if this was how Jacob felt just before exploding into a werewolf.
I heard a sound that didn't make sense, a strange, ripping counterpart to the otherwise cheery background music. Distracted by the shaking, I couldn't tell where it was coming from.
"Shh, Bella, shh," Edward said as he pulled me to the sofa farthest away from the curious human at the desk.
"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her," Alice suggested.
Edward threw a frantic glance at her.
Then I understood. Oh. The noise was me. The ripping sound was the sobs coming from my chest. That's what was shaking me.
"It's all right, you're safe, it's all right," he chanted again and again. He pulled ne onto his lap and tucked the thick wool cloak around me, protecting me from his cold skin.
I knew it was stupid to react like this. Who knew how much time I had to look at his race? He was saved, and I was saved, and he could leave me as soon as we were free. To have my eyes so filled with tears that I could not see his features clearly was wasteful—insanity.
But, behind my eyes where the tears could not wash the image away, I could still see the panicked face of the tiny woman with the rosary.
"All those people," I sobbed.
"I know," he whispered.
"It's so horrible."
"Yes, it is. I wish you hadn't had to see that."
I rested my head against his cold chest, using the thick cloak to wipe my eyes. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself.
"Is there anything I can get you?" a voice asked politely. It was Gianna, leaning over Edward's shoulder with a look that was both concerned and yet still professional and detached at the same time. It didn't seem to bother her that her face was inches from a hostile vampire. She was either totally oblivious, or very good at her job.
"No," Edward answered coldly.
She nodded, smiled at me, and then disappeared.
I waited until she was out of hearing range. "Does she know what's going on here?" I demanded, my voice low and hoarse. I was getting control of myself, my breathing evening out.
"Yes. She knows everything," Edward told me.
"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?"
"She's knows it's a possibility," he said.
That surprised me.
Edward's face was hard to read. "She's hoping they'll decide to keep her."
I felt the blood leave my face. "She wants to be one of them?"
He nodded once, his eyes sharp on my face, watching my reaction.
I shuddered. "How can she want that?" I whispered, more to myself than really looking for an answer. "How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of that?"
Edward didn't answer. His expression twisted in response to something I'd said.
As I stared at his too beautiful face, trying to understand the change, it suddenly struck me that I was really here, in Edward's arms, however fleetingly, and that we were not—at this exact moment—about to be killed.
"Oh, Edward," I cried, and I was sobbing again. It was such a stupid reaction. The tears were too thick for me to see his face again, and that was inexcusable. I only had until sunset for sure. Like a fairy tale again, with deadlines that ended the magic.
"What's wrong?" he asked, still anxious, rubbing my back with gentle pats.
I wrapped my arms around his neck—what was the worst he could do? Just push me away—and hugged myself closer to him. "Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?" I asked. My voice broke twice.
He didn't push me away. He pulled me tight against his ice-hard chest, so tight it was hard to breathe, even with my lungs securely intact. "I know exactly what you mean," he whispered. "But we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive."
"Yes," I agreed. "That's a good one."
"And together," he breathed. His breath was so sweet it made my head swim.
I just nodded, sure that he did not place the same weight on that consideration as I did.
"And, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow."
"Hopefully," I said uneasily.
"The outlook is quite good," Alice assured me. She'd been so quiet, I'd almost forgotten her presence. "I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours," she added in a satisfied tone.
Lucky Alice. She could trust her future.
I couldn't keep my eyes off of Edward's face for long. I stared at him, wishing more than anything that the future would never happen. That this moment would last forever, or, if it couldn't, that I would stop existing when it did.
Edward stared right back at me, his dark eyes soft, and it was easy to pretend that he felt the same way. So that's what I did. I pretended, to make the moment sweeter.
His fingertips traced the circles under my eyes. "You look so tired."
"And you look thirsty," I whispered back, studying the purple bruises under his black irises.
He shrugged. "It's nothing."
"Are you sure? I could sit with Alice," I offered, unwilling; I'd rather he killed me now than move one inch from where I was.
"Don't be ridiculous." He sighed; his sweet breath caressed my face. "I've never been in better control of that side of my nature than right now."
I had a million questions for him. One of them bubbled to my lips now, but I held my tongue. I didn't want to ruin the moment, as imperfect as it was, here in this room that made me sick, under the eyes of the would-be monster.
Here in his arms, it was so easy to fantasize that he wanted me. I didn't want to think about his motivations now—about whether he acted this way to keep me calm while we were still in danger, or if he just felt guilty for where we were and relieved that he wasn't responsible for my death. Maybe the time apart had been enough that I didn't bore him for the moment. But it didn't matter. I was so much happier pretending.
I lay quiet in his arms, re-memorizing his face, pretending…
He stared at my face like he was doing the same, while he and Alice discussed how to get home. Their voices were so quick and low that I knew Gianna couldn't understand. I missed half of it myself. It sounded like more theft would be involved, though. I wondered idly if the yellow Porsche had made it back to its owner yet.
"What was all that talk about singers?" Alice asked at one point.
"La tua cantante," Edward said. His voice made the words into music.
"Yes, that," Alice said, and I concentrated for a moment. I'd wondered about that, too, at the time.
I felt Edward shrug around me. "They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my singer—because her blood sings for me."
Alice laughed.
I was tired enough to sleep, but I fought against the weariness. I wasn't going to miss a second of the time I had with him. Now and then, as he talked with Alice, he would lean down suddenly and kiss me—his glass-smooth lips brushing against my hair, my forehead, the tip of my nose. Each time it was like an electric shock to my long dormant heart. The sound of its beating seemed to fill the entire room.
It was heaven—right smack in the middle of hell.
I lost track of the time completely. So when Edward's arms tightened around me, and both he and Alice looked to the back of the room with wary eyes, I panicked. I cringed into Edward's chest as Alec—his eyes now a vivid ruby, but still spotless in his light gray suit despite the afternoon meal—walked through the double doors.
It was good news.
"You're free to leave now," Alec told us, his tone so warm you'd think we were all lifelong friends. "We ask that you don't linger in the city."
Edward made no answering pretence; his voice was ice cold. "That won't be a problem."
Alec smiled, nodded, and disappeared again.
"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," Gianna told us as Edward helped me to my feet. "The lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. Goodbye, now," she added pleasantly. I wondered if her competence would be enough to save her.
Alice shot her a dark look.