I realized now that Jamie was just as sad as everyone else here.

“What’s wrong, Jamie? Why are you upset?”

Jamie looked down at his eggs, eating them slowly and deliberately now, and did not answer me.

He finished in silence. I tried to pass him what was left in my bowl, but he glowered so fiercely that I took it back and ate the rest without any more resistance.

We added our bowls to the big plastic bin of dirty dishes. It was full, so I took it from the counter. I wasn’t sure what was going on in the caves today, but dishes ought to be a safe occupation.

Jamie came along beside me, his eyes alert. I didn’t like that. I wouldn’t allow him to act as my bodyguard, if the necessity arose. But then, as we made our way around the edge of the big field, my regular bodyguard found me, so it became a moot point.

Ian was filthy; light brown dust covered him from head to toe, darker where it was wet with his sweat. The brown streaks smeared across his face did not disguise the exhaustion there. I was not surprised to see that he was just as down as everyone else. But the dust did make me curious. It was not the purple black dust inside the caves. Ian had been outside this morning.

“There you are,” he murmured when he saw us. He was walking swiftly, his long legs cutting the distance with anxious strides. When he reached us, he did not slow, but rather caught me under the elbow and hurried me forward. “Let’s duck in here for a minute.”

He pulled me into the narrow tunnel mouth that led toward the eastern field, where the corn was almost ripe. He did not lead me far, just into the darkness where we were invisible from the big room. I felt Jamie’s hand rest lightly on my other arm.

After half a minute, deep voices echoed through the big cavern. They were not boisterous-they were somber, as depressed as any of the faces I’d read this morning. The voices passed us, close by the crack where we hid, and Ian’s hand tensed on my elbow, his fingers pressing into the soft spots above the bone. I recognized Jared’s voice, and Kyle’s. Melanie strained against my control, and my control was tenuous anyway. We both wanted to see Jared’s face. It was a good thing Ian held us back.

“… don’t know why we let him keep trying. When it’s over, it’s over,” Jared was saying.

“He really thought he had it this time. He was so sure… Oh, well. It will be worth all this if he figures it out someday,” Kyle disagreed.

“If.” Jared snorted. “I guess it’s a good thing we found that brandy. Doc’s going to blow through the whole crate by nightfall at the rate he’s going.”

“He’ll pass out soon enough,” Kyle said, his voice beginning to fade in the distance. “I wish Sharon would…” And then I couldn’t make out any more.

Ian waited until the voices faded completely, and then a few minutes more, before he finally released my arm.

“Jared promised,” Jamie muttered to him.

“Yeah, but Kyle didn’t,” Ian answered.

They walked back out into the light. I followed slowly behind them, not sure what I was feeling.

Ian noticed for the first time what I carried. “No dishes now,” he told me. “Let’s give them a chance to clean up and move on.”

I thought about asking him why he was dirty, but probably, like Jamie, he would refuse to answer. I turned to stare at the tunnel that led toward the rivers, speculating.

Ian made an angry sound.

I looked back at him, frightened, and then realized what had upset him-he’d only just seen my face.

He raised his hand as if to lift my chin, but I flinched and he dropped it.

“That makes me so sick,” he said, and his voice truly did sound as if he were nauseated. “And worse, knowing that if I hadn’t stayed behind, I might have been the one to do it…”

I shook my head at him. “It’s nothing, Ian.”

“I don’t agree with that,” he muttered, and then he spoke to Jamie. “You probably ought to get to school. It’s better that we get everything back to normal as soon as possible.”

Jamie groaned. “Sharon will be a nightmare today.”

Ian grinned. “Time to take one for the team, kid. I don’t envy you.”

Jamie sighed and kicked the dirt. “Keep an eye on Wanda.”

“Will do.”

Jamie shuffled away, casting glances back at us every few minutes until he disappeared into another tunnel.

“Here, give me those,” Ian said, pulling the bin of dishes from me before I could respond.

“They weren’t too heavy for me,” I told him.

He grinned again. “I feel silly standing here with my arms empty while you lug these around. Chalk it up to gallantry. C’mon-let’s go relax somewhere out of the way until the coast is clear.”

His words troubled me, and I followed him in silence. Why should gallantry apply to me?

He walked all the way to the cornfield, and then into the cornfield, stepping in the low part of the furrow, between the stalks. I trailed behind him until he stopped, somewhere in the middle of the field, set the dishes aside, and sprawled out on the dirt.

“Well, this is out of the way,” I said as I settled to the ground beside him, crossing my legs. “But shouldn’t we be working?”

“You work too hard, Wanda. You’re the only one who never takes a day off.”

“It gives me something to do,” I mumbled.

“Everyone is taking a break today, so you might as well.”

I looked at him curiously. The light from the mirrors threw double shadows through the cornstalks that crisscrossed over him like zebra stripes. Under the lines and the dirt, his pale face was weary.

“You look like you’ve been working.”

His eyes tightened. “But I’m resting now.”

“Jamie won’t tell me what’s going on,” I murmured.

“No. And neither will I.” He sighed. “It’s nothing you want to know anyway.”

I stared at the ground, at the dark purple and brown dirt, as my stomach twisted and rolled. I could think of nothing worse than not knowing, but maybe I was just lacking in imagination.

“It’s not really fair,” Ian said after a silent moment, “seeing as I won’t answer your question, but do you mind if I ask you one?”

I welcomed the distraction. “Go ahead.”

He didn’t speak at once, so I looked up to find the reason for his hesitation. He was staring down now, looking at the dirt streaked across the backs of his hands.

“I know you’re not a liar. I know that now,” he said quietly. “I’ll believe you, whatever your answer is.”

I waited again while he continued to stare at the dirt on his skin.

“I didn’t buy Jeb’s story before, but he and Doc are pretty convinced… Wanda?” he asked, looking up at me. “Is she still in there with you? The girl whose body you wear?”

This was not just my secret anymore-both Jamie and Jeb knew the truth. Neither was it the secret that really mattered. At any rate, I trusted Ian not to go blabbing to anyone who would kill me over it. “Yes,” I told him. “Melanie is still here.”

He nodded slowly. “What is it like? For you? For her?”

“It’s… frustrating, for us both. At first I would have given anything to have her disappear the way she should have. But now I… I’ve gotten used to her.” I smiled wryly. “Sometimes it’s nice to have the company. It’s harder for her. She’s like a prisoner in many ways. Locked away in my head. She prefers that captivity to disappearing, though.”

“I didn’t know there was a choice.”

“There wasn’t in the beginning. It wasn’t until your kind discovered what was happening that any resistance started. That seems to be the key-knowing what’s going to happen. The humans who were taken by surprise didn’t fight back.”

“So if I were caught?”