- •Stephenie Meyer The Host
- •I was surprised at his accusation, at his tone. This discussion was almost like… an argument. Something my host was familiar with but that I’d never experienced.
- •I did not open my eyes. I didn’t want to be distracted. My mind gave me the words I needed, and the tone that would convey what I couldn’t say without using many words.
- •I decided to open my eyes. I felt the need to double-check the Healer’s promises and make sure the rest of me worked.
- •It took me a moment before I could speak. Even then, my voice was just a breath. “What happened to them?”
- •I nodded in understanding. We’d had a name for it on my other worlds. On no world was it smiled upon. So I quit quizzing the Seeker and gave her what I could.
- •I tried.
- •I stared down at my hands and said nothing.
- •I thought her question through carefully. “I don’t think so. Not so I’ve noticed.”
- •I coughed twice and shook my head. I was sure it was over; my stomach was empty.
- •I took a deep breath and resisted the urge to shake her again. She was a full head shorter than I was. It was a fight I would win.
- •I faced the Seeker now, curious to judge the impact of my words. She was impassive, staring at the white nothingness of the bare wall across the room.
- •I jerked away from her, my face flushing.
- •I shrug, and my stomach flutters. “It’s beautiful here.”
- •I let the engine idle as I tried to think of options besides sleeping in the car, surrounded by the black emptiness of the desert night. Melanie waited patiently, knowing I would find none.
- •I was able to contain my anxiety as I walked hesitantly to the vacant door frame; we must be just as alone here as we had been all day and all yesterday.
- •I cringed, shoving the paper away from me, back into the dark cupboard.
- •I pulled the stiff door back and found the mother lode.
- •I’d turned my back on the east to get the sun off my face for a moment.
- •I laughed at her now. The sound was sucked away by the scorching wind.
- •I don’t know, I’ve never died before.
- •I tasted blood inside my cheek.
- •I shivered in the oven-hot air.
- •I looked for only one thing-where Jared was, so that I could put myself between him and his attackers.
- •I’m not ready to die right this second.
- •I was surprised that the strangely fluid babble did not respond in any way to our entrance. Perhaps they couldn’t see us yet, either.
- •I stood where he’d left me, trying to keep my eyes off Jamie’s face and failing.
- •In spite of myself, I smiled at his unwilling interest. “Far away. Another planet.”
- •Ian and the doctor both raised their hands above their heads.
- •I closed my eyes.
- •I folded my arms across my body.
- •It was quiet for a moment, just the sounds of our footsteps echoing, low and muffled, from the tunnel walls.
- •I thought about the word misfit for a moment. It might have been the truest description of me I’d ever heard. Where had I ever fit in?
- •I could feel my cheeks getting warm.
- •I was in about my fourth week as an informal teacher when life in the caves changed again.
- •I glanced at him wildly, searching for that same guilt on his face. I didn’t find it, only a defensive tightening around his vivid eyes as he stared at the newcomers.
- •I peeked through narrowed eyes as Jared whirled to assess the truth of Jeb’s claim.
- •I realized now that Jamie was just as sad as everyone else here.
- •I appraised his fierce expression-the fire in his brilliant eyes.
- •I noticed how he said when, not if. No matter what promises he’d made, he didn’t see me lasting in the long term.
- •I hated this room. In the darkness, with the odd shadows thrown by the weak glow, it seemed only more forbidding. There was a new smell-the room reeked of slow decay and stinging alcohol and bile.
- •I don’t know. This is all my fault!
- •It was a horrible day. The worst of my life on this planet, even including my first day in the caves and the last hot, dry day in the desert, hours from death.
- •It was over, and I knew it.
- •I didn’t answer. I was afraid of giving him something to use against Kyle.
- •I let him have the gun willingly. He laughed again at my expression.
- •I took a deep breath.
- •I shrugged. “a million or so.”
- •I closed my eyes, wishing my mouth had stayed closed. I felt dizzy. Was I just tired or was it my head wound?
- •I was so tired. I didn’t care that Kyle was three feet from me. I didn’t care that two of the men in the room would side with Kyle if he came around. I didn’t care about anything but sleep.
- •Ian started to stand beside me.
- •Ian stared at his brother for a moment, then sat on the ground beside me again.
- •Ian started to rise again.
- •Ian didn’t give him a chance to answer. He yanked the door out of his way-roughly but very quietly-and then slid into his room and put the door back in its place.
- •I didn’t know what I thought. About any of it.
- •I nodded. “Yes. More than strange. Impossible.”
- •I nodded at that, but he kept going, ignoring me.
- •It made a squishing sound and a thud-that was the first thing I noticed-and then the shock of the blow wore off, and I felt it, too.
- •I pulled myself up. “Perfect.” It was true. I hadn’t felt so healthy in a long time. The sharp shift from pain to ease made the sensation more powerful.
- •I laughed. “It’s amazing. If you stab yourself, I could show you… That’s a joke.”
- •I don’t think it’s the No Pain. Not for either of us.
- •I tuned them out. Once Ian and Kyle got started, they usually went on for a while. I consulted the map.
- •I tried to smile remorsefully. I could tell I sounded stiff, like the too-careful actors on the television.
- •I jumped, startled, and the little pill slipped from my fingers. It dropped to the metal floor with a faintly audible clink. I felt the blood drain from my face as though a plug had been pulled.
- •I looked back at the truck, too, a forced smile on my face. I couldn’t see who was driving. My eyes reflected the headlights, shot out faint beams of their own.
- •I shuddered.
- •I hadn’t decided if I wanted to talk to her. At least, that was what I’d told Jeb.
- •I slowed myself to a walk before I interrupted him. I didn’t want to scare him, to make him think there was an emergency.
- •I heard the double meaning in his words.
- •I considered this as we ran through the desert in the growing light of dawn-ran because, with the Seekers looking, we shouldn’t be out in the daylight.
- •It was a story I’d never told them before, for obvious reasons. It was one of my best. Lots of action. Jamie would have loved it. I sighed and began in a low voice.
- •I paused to shudder.
- •I paused to laugh quietly to myself.
- •I nodded, not convinced. “I won’t show you unless I believe that.”
- •I shook my head. “I think he sees where this is going. He must guess my plan.”
- •In answer to my earlier question to myself, no, the face was not less repugnant with a different awareness behind it. Because the awareness was not so very different, in the end.
- •Ironically enough, Ian was the one who took my side and helped hurry the raid along. He still didn’t see where this would lead.
- •I stroked her soft cheek, but there was no response, so I took her limp hand in mine again. I gazed at the blue sky through the holes in the high ceiling. My mind wandered.
- •It just wasn’t as shocking as it used to be.
- •I saw Jeb’s eyes brighten with his unquenchable curiosity.
- •I took a deep breath and walked slowly into Doc’s place. I announced my presence in a low, even voice. “Hello.”
- •I winced-I had a more recent memory.
- •I could hear Trudy talking to the Healer’s host, but I tuned out the words. Let the humans take care of their own for the moment.
- •I stared at him for a few seconds, and then my eyes grew wide. “Sunny’s gone? Already?”
- •Ian lurched to his feet.
- •I turn to look at her, and I don’t know the face, either. She’s pretty.
- •Ian was happy. This insight made my worry suddenly much lighter, easier to bear.
- •Ian squeezed my hand and leaned in to whisper through all the hair. His voice was so low that I was the only one who could hear. “I held you in my hand, Wanderer. And you were so beautiful.”
I didn’t answer. I was afraid of giving him something to use against Kyle.
Jeb found us just before we hit the big cave. There was enough light for me to see the sharp glint of curiosity in his eyes when he saw me in Ian’s arms, face bleeding, the gun resting gingerly on my open hands.
“You were right, then,” Jeb guessed. The curiosity was strong, but the steel in his tone was stronger. His jaw was tight beneath the fan of his beard. “I didn’t hear a shot. Kyle?”
“He’s unconscious,” I said in a rush. “You need to warn everyone-part of the floor collapsed in the river room. I don’t know how stable it is now. Kyle hit his head really hard trying to get out of the way. He needs Doc.”
Jeb raised one eyebrow so high it almost touched the faded bandanna at his hairline.
“That’s the story,” Ian said, making no effort to conceal his doubt. “And she’s apparently sticking to it.”
Jeb laughed. “Let me take that off your hands,” he said to me.
I let him have the gun willingly. He laughed again at my expression.
“I’ll get Andy and Brandt to help me with Kyle. We’ll follow behind you.”
“Keep a close eye on him when he wakes up,” Ian said in a hard tone.
“Can do.”
Jeb slouched off, looking for more hands. Ian hurried me toward the hospital cave.
“Kyle could be really hurt… Jeb should hurry.”
“Kyle’s head is harder than any rock in this place.”
The long tunnel felt longer than usual. Was Kyle dying, despite my efforts? Was he conscious again and looking for me? What about Walter? Was he sleeping… or gone? Had the Seeker given up her hunt, or would she be back now that it was light again?
Will Jared still be with Doc? Mel added her questions to mine. Will he be angry when he sees you? Will he know me?
When we reached the sunlit southern cave, Jared and Doc didn’t look like they’d moved much. They leaned, side by side, against Doc’s makeshift desk. It was quiet as we approached. They weren’t talking, just watching Walter sleep.
They started up with wide eyes as Ian carried me into the light and laid me on the cot next to Walter’s. He straightened my right leg carefully.
Walter was snoring. That sound eased some of my tension.
“What now?” Doc demanded angrily. He was bending over me as soon as the words were out, wiping at the blood on my cheek.
Jared’s face was frozen in surprise. He was being careful, not letting the expression give way to anything else.
“Kyle,” Ian answered at the same time that I said, “The floor -”
Doc looked back and forth between us, confused.
Ian sighed and rolled his eyes. Absently, he laid one hand lightly on my forehead. “The floor crumbled by the first river hole. Kyle fell back and cracked his head on a rock. Wanda saved his worthless life. She says she fell, too, when the floor gave.” Ian gave Doc a meaningful look. “Something,” he said the word sarcastically, “bashed the back of her head pretty good.” He started listing. “Her nose is bleeding but not broken, I don’t think. She’s got some damage to the muscle here.” He touched my sore thigh. “Knees sliced up pretty good, got her face again, but I think maybe I did that, trying to pull Kyle out of the hole. Shouldn’t have bothered.” Ian muttered the last part.
“Anything else?” Doc asked. At that moment, his fingers, probing along my side, reached the place where Kyle had punched me. I gasped.
Doc tugged my shirt up, and I heard both Ian and Jared hiss at what they saw.
“Let me guess,” Ian said in a voice like ice. “You fell on a rock.”
“Good guess,” I agreed, breathless. Doc was still touching my side, and I was trying to hold back whimpers.
“Might have broken a rib, not sure,” Doc murmured. “I wish I could give you something for the pain -”
“Don’t worry about that, Doc,” I panted. “I’m okay. How’s Walter? Did he wake up at all?”
“No, it will take some time to sleep that dose off,” Doc said. He took my hand and started bending my wrist, my elbow.
“I’m okay.”
His kind eyes were soft as he met my gaze. “You will be. You’ll just have to rest for a while. I’ll keep an eye on you. Here, turn your head.”
I did as he asked, and then winced while he examined my wound.
“Not here,” Ian muttered.
I couldn’t see Doc, but Jared threw Ian a sharp look.
“They’re bringing Kyle. I’m not having them in the same room.”
Doc nodded. “Probably wise.”
“I’ll get a place ready for her. I’ll need you to keep Kyle here until… until we decide what to do with him.”
I started to speak, but Ian put his fingers on my lips.
“All right,” Doc agreed. “I’ll tie him down, if you want.”
“If we have to. Is it okay to move her?” Ian glanced toward the tunnel, his face anxious.
Doc hesitated.
“No,” I whispered, Ian’s fingers still touching my mouth. “Walter. I want to be here for Walter.”
“You’ve saved all the lives you can save today, Wanda,” Ian said, his voice gentle and sad.
“I want to say… to say good-goodbye.”
Ian nodded. Then he looked at Jared. “Can I trust you?”
Jared’s face flushed with anger. Ian held up his hand.
“I don’t want to leave her here unprotected while I find her a safe place,” Ian said. “I don’t know if Kyle will be conscious when he arrives. If Jeb shoots him, it will upset her. But you and Doc should be able to handle him. I don’t want Doc to be on his own, and force Jeb’s hand.”
Jared spoke through clenched teeth. “Doc won’t be on his own.”
Ian hesitated. “She’s been through hell in the past couple of days. Remember that.”
Jared nodded once, teeth still clamped together.
“I’ll be here,” Doc reminded Ian.
Ian met his gaze. “Okay.” He leaned over me, and his luminous eyes held mine. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t be afraid.”
“I’m not.”
He ducked in and touched his lips to my forehead.
No one was more surprised than I, though I heard Jared gasp quietly. My mouth hung open as Ian wheeled and nearly sprinted from the room.
I heard Doc pull a breath in through his teeth, like a backward whistle. “Well,” he said.
They both stared at me for a long moment. I was so tired and sore, I barely cared what they were thinking.
“Doc -” Jared started to say something in an urgent tone, but a clamor from the tunnel interrupted him.
Five men struggled through the opening. Jeb, in front, had Kyle’s left leg in his arms. Wes had the right leg, and behind them, Andy and Aaron worked to support his torso. Kyle’s head lolled back over Andy’s shoulder.
“Stars, but he’s heavy,” Jeb grunted.
Jared and Doc sprang forward to help. After a few minutes of cursing and groaning, Kyle was lying on a cot a few feet away from mine.
“How long has he been out, Wanda?” Doc asked me. He pulled Kyle’s eyelids back, letting the sunlight shine into his pupils.
“Um…” I thought quickly. “As long as I’ve been here, the ten minutes or so it took Ian to carry me here, and then maybe five more minutes before that?”
“At least twenty minutes, would you say?”
“Yes. Close to that.”
While we were consulting, Jeb had made his own diagnosis. No one paid any attention as he came to stand at the head of Kyle’s cot. No one paid any attention-until he turned an open bottle of water over Kyle’s face.
“Jeb,” Doc complained, knocking his hand away.
But Kyle sputtered and blinked, and then moaned. “What happened? Where did it go?” He started to shift his weight, trying to look around. “The floor… is moving…”
Kyle’s voice had my fingers clenching the sides of my cot and panic washing through me. My leg ached. Could I limp away? Slowly, perhaps…
“’S okay,” someone murmured. Not someone. I would always know that voice.
Jared moved to stand between my cot and Kyle’s, his back to me, his eyes on the big man. Kyle rolled his head back and forth, groaning.
“You’re safe,” Jared said in a low voice. He didn’t look at me. “Don’t be afraid.”