The Sight From Abroad

When in Rome Do as The Romans Do

A Tale of Two Smiles

By Kevin McCaughey

 

Words:

grumpy = in a bad mood

phony = insincere, not truthful, giving a false impression

scowl = a look of disapproval

make fun of = to ridicule or laugh at

 

In traveling through Russia, and in meeting lots of Russians, I’ve discovered that most Russians believe Americans smile more than they do.

 Many Russians consider the American smile insincere.  “I think that the American wants something when he smiles much,” one Russian said.  And an English teacher from Ulan-Ude told me the story of man—a fellow Russian—who asked directions from her on the street.  She was in a good mood, smiling as she gave the directions, and the man said, “Are you telling the truth?  Why are you making fun of me?” and off he went.

 Imagine the reaction of a Russian tourist who visits a restaurant in San Francisco when the waiter approaches with a big smile, and says, “Hi!  How are you all doing?  My name is Gervais, and I’ll be your waiter tonight.  Can I tell you about our specials?”

 Even Americans think this is a bit much—a bit phony.  But they forgive the waiter, because he’s trying to be friendly. 

So now picture an American tourist at a café in Ulyanovsk, when the waitress approaches with a menu as fat as a novel.  Her lack of smile (along with the shakes of her head to explain that most of the items on the menu are not available) make the American feel unwelcome.

  This is why Americans think Russians are often grumpy or rude.  The absence of a smile is interpreted as a scowl.  

What we have here is a tale of two smiles, a tale of two cultures, a tale of two perceptions. 

 

The Russian perception:  Americans smiles are sometimes insincere.

The Reality:  Americans smile because they want to be pleasant.  They want to show they are willing to communicate, to be kind.

 

The American perception:  Russians are rude and surly.

The Reality:  Russians smile when they mean it, when joy makes them want to smile.

 

When traveling to another country, another culture, it is very easy to judge behavior by the standards of one’s own culture.  Thus, the Russian may think an American insincere when he is not.  And the American may think a Russian rude when he is not.  It is sad that the American traveling in Russia on a tour may judge the people to be sour.  However the American who makes one Russian friend will soon have lots, and there will be plenty of smiles to go around.

Questions: 1. In what circumstances do Americans smile?

2. In what circumstances do Russians smile?

3. What do Russians think of the American smile?

4. What do Americans think when Russians sometimes do not smile?

She is the master at the old switcheroo

Doors Hit Moscow

…The subject for this column hit me the other day, it’s Moscow doors.

The things are heavy and swing with an intent to inflict real bodily harm. Built of steel, iron or some petrified Siberian hardwood, they stand taller than average NBA basketball player and weight twice as much.

It seems the witty engineers designed these cumbersome gateways as a means for sorting out the weak from the strong. I have seen poor drunks throw their little brittle bodies up against immovable metro monsters in van attempts to escape the bitter cold to no avail. Babushka, on the other hand, have acquired sturdy forearms from a lifetime of heavy door pushing.

Another strange thing about Moscow’s doors is that they have a tendency to move. Please allow me to explain. For example, at the central Post Office on Tverskaya there are four Mike Tyson-size doors going around the front of the building. And as seems to be the inexplicable Russian tradition, only one of these doors is going to grant you entrance. For as long as I can remember, it was always the door on the far left that was unlocked at the Post Office. So naturally I became conditioned to go to that door every time I had to mail a letter or postcard. but just one set of doors would be too easy. Once you successfully locate the first unlocked door, there is another set of four doors to chose from. Now, common sense would tell you successfully passed through. On the contraire! The next unlocked door is usually the one to the far right of the first door. So by the time you finally get to the lobby of the building you fill like one of those poor laboratory rats working his way through a maze to nibble some old cheese.

So the other day I was hurrying to the Post Office, as everybody does. You just want to get in and get out without any ugly surprises. So I’m running towards the building with my head down. I bounce up the steps and run to the left as it habit. I hit the door in full stride and my arms suddenly collapse inward and my head knocked off the glass like a fly hitting a windshield on Interstate 22. Splat! Somebody at the Ministry of Doors decided to make a switcheroo but I never got the message.

Questions for discussion:

1. Did you hit such situations like described in the text?

2. How would you explain this problem with doors to your foreign friend?

Render this text in English

Попадая в другую страну, вы попадаете в ситуации, которые вы не можете понять или которые по-разному воспринимаются. Что касается меня, то я столкнулась с непониманием моих действий. Когда я была в Америке, у моих «hostparents» возникла проблема в понимании меня, о которой я сразу не узнала. Дело в следующем: однажды, сидя в машине, я скрестила руки на груди. После этого я почувствовала холодность с их стороны, и только через несколько дней они рассказали о своей обиде, и это меня шокировало.

Оказывается, скрещенные руки в США обозначают отказ от разговора. Мне пришлось им объяснять, что я не хотела их обижать, что у нас эта поза в порядке вещей. (Н.Б. Рахматуллина, 1999)