Expectations as Assumptions: Expect with Confidence

Often our expectations are based on the assumptions we have about people or groups of people. The same is true of us. Have you ever noticed how your expectations become reality in your personal life? Expectation is literally a self-fulfilling prophecy. We do this consciously and subconsciously. Remember the kid in grade school who was always really rowdy and disruptive? Sometimes if people already assume they are perceived a certain way, then that is indeed exactly how they will act, even if they don’t mean to. The rowdy kid in grade school knew everyone perceived him as disruptive, and so he was. The teacher expected bad behavior, and the expectations were fulfilled.

Consider the profound impact this can have in your own life. Are the assumptions and expectations you have about yourself liberating or victimizing? There are countless examples of ‘‘self-fulfilling prophecies,’’ or the Law of Expectations at work in everyday life. Ever notice how people who think they’re going to be fired suddenly experience a drop in the quality and enthusiasm for their work? Then what happens? They get fired! Their belief causes them to act a certain way, and those expectations then work to bring about the very thing that at first was only a figment of their imagination.

In another study, second graders listened to statements from their teachers before taking a math test. There were three types of statements: expectation, persuasion, or reinforcement. The expectation statements went something like, ‘‘You know your math really well!’’ or ‘‘You work really hard at your math.’’ Persuasion statements involved sentences like, ‘‘You should be good at math.’’ or ‘‘You should be getting better math grades.’’ Finally, for the reinforcement statements, teachers said things like, ‘‘I’m really happy about your progress’’ or ‘‘This is excellent work!’’ Now, what do you think the results were? The scores were the highest in the ‘‘expectation’’ category! Why were the expectation statements the most effective? They created personal assumptions within each student. Those assumptions conditioned the actual external results.[2]

[2]R. L. Miller, P. Brickman, and D. Bolen, ‘‘Attribution vs. Persuasion As a Means for Modifying Behavior,’’

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 3 (1975): 430–441.

Expectations of Others Affect Behavior

The expectations we create for others often become reality. This can have interesting effects when applied out in the real world. This section contains multiple examples of how expectations have changed the lives and persuaded the behavior of other individuals.

School Teachers

Under the umbrella of expectations, teachers can be the greatest asset or the greatest negative influence in a child’s life. We know what happens when a teacher labels a student a ‘‘troublemaker’’ because it creates certain expectations for the student’s actions. We have seen the labels ‘‘slow learner,’’ ‘‘stupid,’’ and ‘‘ADD’’ become projections for a student’s future academic success. There is the story of the substitute teacher who came to class and found a note from the regular teacher labeling one of her students as a troublemaker and another as helpful. The substitute teacher began the class looking for these two students. When she found them, she treated them accordingly. However, when the teacher returned, she was amazed when she discovered the substitute felt the troublemaker was helpful and the helper was trouble. She had gotten them mixed up! The children’s behavior was based on the substitute’s expectations. This is often called social labeling. People tend to live up to the positive or negative label bestowed on them.[3]

We have all had teachers who had high expectations of us and brought us to the next level. Can you imagine how powerful this becomes? Imagine the first day of class as the teacher looks around the room at her students. What if there is a student who is the son of a distinguished Asian professor, another one who it the brother of a former student who was a class clown, and one who is heavily pierced and wearing all black? What do you think her assumptions and expectations would be? Her expectations would probably be fulfilled without ever even speaking to the students.

One interesting experiment revealed how teachers’ expectations influenced students. Two Head Start teachers were selected who were as equal as possible in potential and in practice. Then, two classes were formed from pupils who had been carefully tested to ensure that they were as similar as possible in background and learning potential. Next, the principal spoke with each teacher alone. He told the first teacher how fortunate she was. ‘‘You have a class of high potential pupils this year! Just don’t stand in their way. They’re racers and ready to run.’’ The second teacher was told, ‘‘I’m sorry about your pupils this year. But you can’t expect top students every year. Just do the best you can. We’ll be understanding, regardless of the results.’’ At the end of the year, the two classes were tested again. The first class scored significantly ahead of the second.[4] The major differentiating factor appeared to be each teacher’s expectations.

Grubby Day

Many schools have ‘‘dress-up days,’’ where, for example, students can dress up for Halloween, Spirit Day, Pajama Day, or Fifties Day. In one high school, they had a ‘‘Grubby Day.’’ As you can imagine, on this particular day, the student behavior was less than outstanding. The administration received more complaints about student behavior on this day than on any other. The dress code set up certain assumptions, which further set up certain expectations. Then, of course, the expectations were fulfilled by the bad behavior.

Littering

We know that children tend to put their trash directly on the floor. In one elementary school, students were given individually wrapped pieces of candy. Of course, most of the wrappers ended up on the floor and not in the garbage can. Over the next two weeks, the teacher frequently commented on how neat and tidy the children were. On a visit to the classroom, the principal remarked to the children that their classroom was one of the neatest and cleanest in the school. Even the custodian wrote a note on the blackboard telling the children how clean and tidy their classroom

was. At the end of the two weeks, the children were given individually wrapped pieces of candy again. This time, most of the wrappers ended up in the trash can.[5]

Parental Expectation

One thing you notice with toddlers and small children is that they behave according to the expectations of their parents. When I was single, I noticed that when children fell down or bumped their heads while running and playing, they would look at their parents so they would know how to react. If the parents showed great concern and pain in their eyes, the children would start to cry in an effort to get the attention they wanted. This would happen regardless of whether the child really felt pain or not.

One of the techniques my wife and I tried as new parents was the exact opposite of this approach. We changed the expectation, and it has worked great! When our children hit their heads or get a small scrape, they look up to us and we all laugh. The amazing thing that happens is that they begin to laugh too. They realize it’s not a big deal and go off to resume their activities, often laughing with us. Children act based on the expectations of their parents. You create the expectations in your voice, in your actions, and with the words you use.

Studies show that children will live up to the expectations of their parents whether those expectations are positive or negative. According to Bill Glass, over 90 percent of prison inmates were told by parents while growing up, ‘‘They’re going to put you in jail.’’[6]

Blood Drive

When blood drive organizers make reminder calls, they may end their conversations with something like, ‘‘We’ll see you tomorrow at 10:00 ?.?. then, okay?’’ and then wait for the person’s commitment. Why do they do this? Studies have shown that when you create an expectation, attendance rates dramatically increase.

Sales Applications

The power of suggestion can also be extremely effective when you engage the emotions in your tactics. For example, when your car salesman says, ‘‘You’re really going to love how this car handles in the mountains,’’ he is shifting the focus away from the sale and creating an exciting image in your head. He is also speaking as though you had already agreed to the sale because you wouldn’t be driving it in the mountains unless you were going to buy it. He’s acting like it’s a done deal—and the truth is, the more he does this, the more it is!

I love seeing door-to-door salespeople use this law to their advantage. They approach a door, ring the bell, and with a big smile tell the prospect they have a great presentation that person needs to see. Of course, they employ this strategy while they are wiping their feet on the person’s doormat in expectation of being let in the house. You would be surprised how often this technique actually works. You see the salesperson handing the prospect his pen in expectation of signing the contract. Have you ever felt bad leaving a store or situation where you have not bought something? The store has created the expectation that you would make a purchase.

[3]R. E. Kraut, ‘‘Effects of Social Labeling on Giving to Charity,’’ Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 9 (1973): 551–562.

[4]Kenneth Erickson, The Power of Praise (St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1984), p. 56.

[5]Miller, Brickman, and Bolen, ‘‘Attribution vs. Persuasion.’’

[6]Maxwell and Dornan, Becoming a Person of Influence, p. 63.

Presupposition: Assuming the Sale

Using expectations, we can create immediate reactions to stimuli so the subject doesn’t even have to think—they just perform the action. Discounts, closeouts, going out of business sales, and coupons are used to draw traffic to stores. Consumers assume they will receive a reduced purchase price by presenting the coupon or by going to a ‘‘going out of business sale.’’ One tire company made an error in printing their coupon and the misprinted coupon offered no savings to recipients. However, this coupon produced just as much customer response as did the error-free coupon.[ 7]

Presupposition is often utilized by using words and language that indicate your assumption that your offer has already been accepted. It is a technique that is used both consciously and subconsciously. Consider the following examples (the assumption is expressed in parentheses):

‘‘When do you want your couch sent?’’ (You want the couch.)

‘‘Should I call you Tuesday or Wednesday?’’ (You want to talk again.)

‘‘Your first class will start next Monday.’’ (You’re signing up for the class.)

You’d be amazed how often people will just go along with your proposal! They don’t even stop and think about their response because now they’re already finishing the deal in their mind!

Another way to use presupposition is to put it in writing. People always think that if something’s in writing, then it must be true. We often go along with something without questioning it, just because it’s what the directions say to do. For example, a particular ‘‘candid camera’’ stunt involved a stop sign placed on a sidewalk, even though there was no reason to stop there. The sign was in an odd place and there was no danger of oncoming traffic, but everyone obediently stopped and waited at the sign, just because it said to do so! In another spoof, a sign reading ‘‘Delaware Closed’’ actually made people start asking for how long Delaware was going to be closed![8]

[7]Robert Cialdini, The Psychology of Influence (New York: Quill, 1984), p. 7.

[8]Roger Dawson, The Secrets of Power Persuasion (Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1992), p. 29.