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Have Fun!

Jokes and Funny Stories

He didn’t notice it.

Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?

Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.

Father doesn’t eat hay.

Boy: I want a bundle of hay.

Farmer: For your father?

Boy: No, for the horse. Father doesn’t eat hay.

The same fish.

”Here, waiter. It seems to me that this fish is not as fresh today as the fish you served us last Sunday”.

”Pardon, sir, it is the very same”.

hay – сіно

very same – той самий

Education in ukraine, great britain and the usa part I. Education in Ukraine

Pre-reading Activities

1. Match the following English words with their Ukrainian equivalents:

1. appointment of staff a) обов’язковий

2. nursery school, kindergarten b) аспірант

3. compulsory c) призначення кадрів

4. headmaster / headmistress d) кандидат наук

5. deputy head e) початкова школа

6. school leaver f) директор школи

7. postgraduate g) дитячий садок

8. Candidate of Science h) агрономія

9. fee-paying i) профтехучилище

10. vocational training school j) завуч

11. primary school k) випускник школи

13. psychology l) платний

14. law m) психологія

15. sociology n) правознавство

16. agriculture o) соціологія

17. engineering p) предмет

18. subject q) машинобудування

Reading Activities

Read Text 1 and compare what you know about the system of education in Ukraine with the information in the text:

Text 1. Education in ukraine

Present day independent Ukraine has a well-developed system of education which matches the standards of the developed countries. Pre-school education is not compulsory and is fee-paying. Most parents take their children to nursery schools or kindergartens at the age of 3. Up to the age of 5 children mostly eat, sleep and play there, but in senior groups they are taught the basics of arithmetic, reading, writing, arts and in some schools foreign languages.

Compulsory secondary education begins at the age of 6-7 and is free in state schools and fee-paying in private ones. Secondary education includes three stages: primary (1-4 grades), basic (5-10 grades) and senior (11-12 grades). In general secondary schools children start learning foreign languages from the 2nd grade and have fewer lessons of language a week than specialized language schools that start teaching languages from the 1st grade. Recently new types of schools have appeared: gymnasiums and lyceums. In addition, there are schools with technical, computer, mathematical, law, pedagogical and art specialization. All the subjects in the secondary schools are obligatory but there are optional courses that students of senior grades can take.

Extra-curricular activities usually include a variety of sports and drama clubs, interest groups and various school parties.

Institutions of higher learning (higher educational establishments) include universities, academies, institutes and conservatories. Among the best known higher educational establishments there are Shevchenko Kyiv National University, Kyiv Polytechnic University, International Independent University „Kyiv-Mohyla Academy”, Kyiv State Conservatory, Lviv State University, Kharkiv National University, Kharkiv National Pedagogical University, Kharkiv State Polytechnic University and many others.

Postgraduate education begins after the last year of studies and usually results in thesis on the chosen scientific topic and the degree of the Candidate of Science. Doctorate Degree is awarded for an outstanding scientific research.

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