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Business Letter Style (using the most effective language in your letters)

I. Discussion topics.

Discuss the following questions with your group-mates:

  1. Business style may be defined as ‘the most effective words in the most appropriate order’. Give your comments.

  2. In your opinion, what is the most general goal in any business letter writing?

II. Reading.

For many people, the hardest part of writing letters is putting their ideas into the right language. An effective letter may require several drafts and revisions. Even a short letter (1 - 2 paragraphs) needs to be revised until it sends the exact message conveyed in the right tone to your reader. These simple suggestions can help. Your letter should be (1) clear, (2) concise, (3) contemporary. Regard these principles of letter writing as three C's.

1. Be clear. Clarity obviously is the most important quality of a business letter. If your message cannot be understood easily, you have wasted your time. Confusion costs time and money. Plan what you are going to say - what your objective is - by taking a few minutes to jot down some questions you want answered or some answers to questions asked of you. Doing this will actually save you time.

Choose precise details appropriate for your audience. In choosing exact words, answer the reader's five fundamental questions - who? what? why? where? and how? Supply concrete words, facts, details, numbers. On the left are some examples of vague sentences that will puzzle a reader because necessary details are missing. These sentences have been revised on the right, with exact words, replacing unclear ones.

Vague

Clear

Please send me some copies of your brochure I can use at work.

Please send me 4 copies of your brochure on the new photocopier.

You can expect an appraisal in the next few weeks.

You will receive the estimate on the installation of a new 50,000 BTU air conditioning unit no later then July 12.

One of our Moscow stores carries that product.

Our store at 25 Tverskaya street sells the entire line of Leather-world gloves.

I would like some information about your scheduling policies to Rio de Janeiro.

Please let me know if Worldwide Air has a weekday morning flight to Rio de Janeiro and how far in advance reservations would have to be made for that flight.

The fee for that service is nominal.

The fee for serving lunch to your room for three people will be $35.

2. Be concise. "Get to the point" is one of the most frequent commands in the business world. A concise letter is easy to read and to act on. As you draft and then revise your letter, ask yourself these two questions: (1) What is the main message I want to tell my reader? (2) Does every sentence and paragraph stick to the main point? The secret to efficient correspondence is to get to the main point at once, as in the following examples.

  • Your order will be delivered by July 26, as you requested.

  • I am happy to confirm the figures we discussed in our telephone conversation last Wednesday.

  • I request an extension of two weeks in paying my note.

Please accept our apologies for the damaged sample shipped to you last week.

Many letter writers get off to a deadly slow start by repeating, often word for word, the contents of the letter to which they are responding.

First draft

Revised

I have your letter of March 23 before me in which you ask if our office knows of any all-electric duplexes for rent less than five years old. You also asked if these duplexes are close to shopping and medical facilities.

Thank you for your letter of March 23. Our office does rent all-electric duplexes. We have two units, each renting $375 a month that are four blocks from the Mendez Clinic and two blocks from the Edgewater Mall.

Another way to write a concise letter is to include only material that is absolutely relevant. In a letter complaining about inadequate or faulty telephone service, mentioning colour preferences for extension telephones would be inappropriate.

Finally make sure that your letter is not wordy. When planning your letter and before you start to write, jot down the main point you want to make. Then list all the details necessary to make that point; these may be facts, reasons, explanations, etc. Finally, rearrange your list; in the letter, you will want to mention things in a logical order so that your message will come across as clearly as possible.

In other words,

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