- •It was a surprise, therefore, to find that this newcomer remained standing on his feet, and it was he who made a signal to the waiter.
- •I hesitated a moment before replying.
- •I expected him to laugh, it was a stupid story, I don't know why I told him, but he looked at me thoughtfully as he stirred his coffee.
- •I sat still, my hands in my lap, not knowing whether he meant it or not.
- •I closed it behind me, and stood there, rather self-conscious, my hands hanging by my side. 'What on earth are you talking about?' he asked.
- •I looked at my watch. 'I haven't time,' I told him. 'I ought to be in the office now, changing the reservations.'
- •I watched a fly settle on the marmalade, and he brushed it away impatiently.
- •I hesitated, but she went on, thank heaven, not waiting for my answer.
- •I wished she would go; she was like a shadow standing there, watching me, appraising me with her hollow eyes, set in that dead skull's face.
- •I shook my head. 'No, I'd rather not,' I said, 'No, I must go downstairs.' I began to walk down the stairs, and she came with me, by my side, as though she were a warder, and I in custody.
- •I was not prepared for this question, and she must have seen the surprise in my face, for she laughed lightly, and squeezed my arm.
- •I explained about Mrs Van Hopper, and what had led to it, and she seemed sympathetic but a little vague, as though she was thinking of something else.
- •I listened to them both, leaning against Maxim's arm, rubbing my chin on his sleeve. He stroked my hand absently, not thinking, talking to Beatrice.
- •I was not sure where Beatrice had blundered, and thought it better not to ask. Perhaps he still resented the chat about his health before lunch.
- •I said nothing; it was not my affair.
- •It was the sort of remark Frank Crawley always made. Safe, conventional, very correct.
- •I looked straight ahead of me along the drive, but I could see his face was turned towards me, as though he wished to read my expression.
- •I stopped breathless, already a little ashamed of my outburst, feeling that now at any rate I had burnt my boats for all time. He turned to me looking very concerned and troubled.
- •I looked up from Jasper, my face red as fire. 'Darling,' I said, 'I meant to tell you before, but – but I forgot. The fact is I broke that cupid when I was in the morning-room yesterday.'
- •It was like being a prisoner, giving evidence. How paltry and mean my actions sounded, even to myself. 'I put them all into an envelope,' I said.
- •I came out from behind the door looking no doubt as big a fool as I felt. 'No, of course not,' I said, 'I heard voices, I was not quite sure who it was. I did not expect any callers this afternoon.'
- •I was surprised at his tone. It sounded as though he knew him well. It was queer, to hear Maxim talked of as Max. No one called him that.
- •I wanted to run away, but I could not move. I went on watching her eyes.
- •I shook my head. 'No,' I said. 'No.'
- •I forced a smile. I could not speak. My throat felt dry and tight.
- •I swallowed. I dug my nails into my hands.
- •I wondered why. However, it was simpler not to say anything.
- •I smiled, waiting to be asked. The old lady turned her head in my direction. 'What's Bee talking about?' she said. 'I did not know you were an artist. We've never had any artists in the family.'
- •I saw a slow smile pass over the calm, placid face. 'I like water-cress day,' she said.
- •I stared straight in front of me down the road. I did not mind for myself. I should not have cared if I had been alone. I minded for Beatrice.
- •It was a moment or two before Maxim replied, and when he did his voice was quite calm and matter-of-fact.
- •I heard Frank's quiet voice beside me. 'I don't mind organizing the ball if Maxim has no objection to giving it. It's up to him and Mrs de Winter. It's nothing to do with me.'
- •I pretended to file my nails. They were too short and too brittle, but the action gave me something to do and I did not have to look at her.
- •I began to laugh weakly, the tears coming into my eyes. 'Oh dear,' I said, 'let's send wires to everybody not to come.'
- •I covered my own mousy hair with the curled wig, trying to hide my triumph, trying to hide my smile. Somebody came and hammered on the door.
- •I drank some to please her, not wanting it a bit. It tasted warm from the tap; she had not let it run.
- •I did not say anything. I went on sitting on the bed with my hands in my lap.
- •I caught sight of Giles peering at me through the open door.
- •I hesitated, Frank was the only person I did not mind knowing. 'He did not come to bed last night.'
- •I did not know what to say. The situation was mad, unreal. She kept talking in that choked muffled way with her head turned from me.
- •I remembered crouching in the gallery when the library door was open. I remembered Maxim's voice raised in anger, using the words that Mrs Danvers had just repeated. Jealous, Maxim jealous...
- •I backed away from her towards the window, my old fear and horror rising up in me again. She took my arm and held it like a vice.
- •I did not say anything. He hesitated. I felt his eyes upon me.
- •I stared at him, bewildered at first, then shocked, then rather sick.
- •I stared at him stupidly, not understanding. 'What will they do?' I said.
- •I sat on the floor, clasping my knees, staring at him.
- •I did not say anything. We stared at one another. I felt the little pain come again at the pit of my stomach.
- •I wondered how much pleasure it had given him to disguise himself as Cromwell. I had not seen much of him at the ball. He had spent most of the evening in the morning-room, playing bridge.
- •I sat down on the chair beside the fireplace. I held the arms of the chair very tight. Frank came over and stood behind the chair. Still Maxim did not move. He never took his eyes off Favell.
- •I saw Maxim go very white, and a little pulse began to show on his forehead. 'Don't interfere with this, Frank,' he said, 'this is my affair entirely. I'm not going to give way to blackmail.'
- •I heard Maxim's voice, very cool, very calm. 'I want Kerrith 17,' he said.
- •In a few minutes Frank came back again into the room.
- •I waited, waited. Why couldn't he get done with it and finish and let us go? Why must we sit there, waiting, our eyes upon his face.
I wondered why. However, it was simpler not to say anything.
'It's quite amusing now Roger is a reasonable age,' she went on, 'because he brings his friends to stay, and we have really good fun. You ought to have been with us last Christmas. We had charades. My dear, it was the greatest fun. Giles was in his element. He adores dressing-up, you know, and after a glass or two of champagne he's the funniest thing you've ever seen. We often say he's missed his vocation and ought to have been on the stage.' I thought of Giles, and his large moon face, his horn spectacles. I felt the sight of him being funny after champagne would embarrass me. 'He and another man, a great friend of ours, Dickie Marsh, dressed up as women and sang a duet. What exactly it had to do with the word in the charade nobody knew, but it did not matter. We all roared.'
I smiled politely. 'Fancy, how funny,' I said.
I saw them all rocking from side to side in Beatrice's drawing-room. All these friends who knew one another so well. Roger would look like Giles. Beatrice was laughing again at the memory. 'Poor Giles,' she said. 'I shall never forget his face when Dick squirted the soda syphon down his back. We were all in fits.'
I had an uneasy feeling we might be asked to spend the approaching Christmas with Beatrice. Perhaps I could have influenza.
'Of course our acting was never very ambitious,' she said. 'It was just a lot of fun amongst ourselves. At Manderley now, there is scope for a really fine show. I remember a pageant they had there, some years ago. People from London came down to do it. Of course that type of thing needs terrific organization.'
'Yes,' I said.
She was silent for a while, and drove without speaking.
'How is Maxim?' she said, after a moment.
'Very well, thanks,' I said.
'Quite cheerful and happy?'
'Oh, yes. Yes, rather.'
A narrow village street engaged her attention. I wondered whether I should tell her about Mrs Danvers. About the man Favell. I did not want her to make a blunder though, and perhaps tell Maxim.
'Beatrice,' I said, deciding upon it, 'have you ever heard of someone called Favell? Jack Favell?'
'Jack Favell,' she repeated. 'Yes, I do know the name. Wait a minute. Jack Favell. Of course. An awful bounder. I met him once, ages ago.'
'He came to Manderley yesterday to see Mrs Danvers,' I said.
'Really? Oh, well, perhaps he would...'
'Why?' I said.
'I rather think he was Rebecca's cousin,' she said.
I was very surprised. That man her relation? It was not my idea of the sort of cousin Rebecca would have. Jack Favell her cousin.
'Oh,' I said. 'Oh, I hadn't realized that.'
'He probably used to go to Manderley a lot,' said Beatrice. 'I don't know. I couldn't tell you. I was very seldom there.' Her manner was abrupt. It gave me the impression she did not want to pursue the subject.
'I did not take to him much,' I said.
'No,' said Beatrice. 'I don't blame you.'
I waited, but she did not say any more. I thought it wiser not to tell her how Favell had asked me to keep the visit a secret. It might lead to some complication. Besides, we were just coming to our destination. A pair of white gates and a smooth gravel drive.
'Don't forget the old lady is nearly blind,' said Beatrice, 'and she's not very bright these days. I telephoned to the nurse that we were coming, so everything will be all right.'
The house was large, red-bricked, and gabled. Late Victorian I supposed. Not an attractive house. I could tell in a glance it was the sort of house that was aggressively well-kept by a big staff. And all for one old lady who was nearly blind.
A trim parlour-maid opened the door.
'Good afternoon, Norah, how are you?' said Beatrice.
'Very well, thank you, Madam. I hope you are keeping well?'
'Oh, yes, we are all flourishing. How has the old lady been, Norah?'
'Rather mixed, Madam. She has one good day, and then a bad. She's not too bad in herself, you know. She will be pleased to see you I'm sure.' She glanced curiously at me.
'This is Mrs Maxim,' said Beatrice.
'Yes, Madam. How do you do,' said Norah. We went through a narrow hall and a drawing-room crowded with furniture to a veranda facing a square clipped lawn. There were many bright geraniums in stone vases on the steps of the veranda. In the corner was a bath chair. Beatrice's grandmother was sitting there, propped up with pillows and surrounded by shawls. When we came close to her I saw that she had a strong, rather uncanny, resemblance to Maxim. That was what Maxim would look like, if he was very old, if he was blind. The nurse by her side got up from her chair and put a mark in the book she was reading aloud. She smiled at Beatrice.
'How are you, Mrs Lacy?' she said.
Beatrice shook hands with her and introduced me. 'The old lady looks all right,' she said. 'I don't know how she does it, at eighty-six. Here we are, Gran,' she said, raising her voice, 'arrived safe and sound.'
The grandmother looked in our direction. 'Dear Bee,' she said, 'how sweet of you to come and visit me. We're so dull here, nothing for you to do.'
Beatrice leant over her and kissed her. 'I've brought Maxim's wife over to see you,' she said, 'she wanted to come and see you before, but she and Maxim have been so busy.'
Beatrice prodded me in the back. 'Kiss her,' she murmured. I too bent down and kissed her on the cheek.
The grandmother touched my face with her fingers. 'You nice thing,' she said, 'so good of you to come. I'm very pleased to see you, dear. You ought to have brought Maxim with you.'
'Maxim is in London,' I said, 'he's coming back tonight.'
'You might bring him next time,' she said. 'Sit down, dear, in this chair, where I can see you. And Bee, come the other side. How is dear Roger? He's a naughty boy, he doesn't come and see me.'
'He shall come during August,' shouted Beatrice; 'he's leaving Eton, you know, he's going up to Oxford."
'Oh, dear, he'll be quite a young man, I shan't know him.'
'He's taller than Giles now,' said Beatrice.
She went on, telling her about Giles, and Roger, and the horses, and the dogs. The nurse brought out some knitting, and clicked her needles sharply. She turned to me, very bright, very cheerful.
'How are you liking Manderley, Mrs de Winter?'
'Very much, thank you,' I said.
'It's a beautiful spot, isn't it?' she said, the needles jabbing one another. 'Of course we don't get over there now, she's not up to it. I am sorry, I used to love our days at Manderley.'
'You must come over yourself some time,' I said.
'Thank you, I should love to. Mr de Winter is well, I suppose?'
'Yes, very well.'
'You spent your honeymoon in Italy, didn't you? We were so pleased with the picture-postcard Mr de Winter sent.'
I wondered whether she used 'we' in the royal sense, or if she meant that Maxim's grandmother and herself were one.
'Did he send one? I can't remember.'
'Oh, yes, it was quite an excitement. We love anything like that. We keep a scrap-book you know, and paste anything to do with the family inside it. Anything pleasant, that is.'
'How nice,' I said.
I caught snatches of Beatrice's conversation on the other side. 'We had to put old Marksman down,' she was saying. 'You remember old Marksman? The best hunter I ever had.'
'Oh, dear, not old Marksman?' said her grandmother.
'Yes, poor old man. Got blind in both eyes, you know.'
'Poor Marksman,' echoed the old lady.
I thought perhaps it was not very tactful to talk about blindness, and I glanced at the nurse. She was still busy clicking her needles.
'Do you hunt, Mrs de Winter?' she said.
'No, I'm afraid I don't,' I said.
'Perhaps you will come to it. We are all very fond of hunting in this part of the world.'
'Yes.'
'Mrs de Winter is very keen on art,' said Beatrice to the nurse. 'I tell her there are heaps of spots in Manderley that would make very jolly pictures.'
'Oh rather,' agreed the nurse, pausing a moment from the fury of knitting. 'What a nice hobby. I had a friend who was a wonder with her pencil. We went to Provence together one Easter and she did such pretty sketches.'
'How nice,' I said.
'We're talking about sketching,' shouted Beatrice to her grandmother, 'you did not know we had an artist in the family, did you?'
'Who's an artist?' said the old lady. 'I don't know any.'
'Your new granddaughter,' said Beatrice: 'you ask her what I gave her for a wedding-present.'