It helps keep our marriage a happy one.

Sweetheart, you look wonderful tonight!

For Pete’s sake (for God’s; Heaven’s)!

What a day this has been!

Two ministers were discussing the lack of morals in the modern world (два священника обсуждали недостаток морали в современном мире).

"I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married (я не спал со своей женой до того, как мы поженились)," said one clergyman self-righteously (сказал один священник самодовольно: «с чувством собственной правоты»). "Did you? (а вы)"

"I don't know (я не знаю)," said the other. "What was her maiden name? (какая была ее девичья фамилия)"

Two ministers were discussing the lack of morals in the modern world.

"I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married," said one clergyman self-righteously. "Did you?"

"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

What was her maiden name?

Uncle Pete never asked the Lord for anything (дядюшка Пит никогда не просил Господа о чем-либо), but one day he heard about this Oregon Lottery... (но однажды он услышал об этой Орегонской лотерее /to hear-heard-heard/) He began to think about it (он начал думать об этом /to begin-began-begun/), and think about it... (и думать об этом). Then a couple of days later (потом, пару дней спустя), he asked the Lord (он попросил Бога: «Господа»),

"You know Lord (ты знаешь, Господи), I never asked you for anything (я никогда тебя ни о чем не просил), I've been going to church every Sunday (я ходил в церковь каждое воскресенье), praising you and thanking you for what I have (восхваляя тебя и благодаря тебя за то, что имею), and I sure would like to win that lottery! (и я, конечно, хотел бы выиграть в эту лотерею)"

Well, a couple of years went by (пара лет прошла) and Uncle Pete still wanted to (все еще хотел), and didn't win (и не выиграл) that Oregon Lottery. One day while plowing a field (однажды, во время распашки поля, когда распахивал поле) he starts thinking about not winning the lottery (он начинает думать о том, что он не выиграл в лотерею, как он все никак не может выиграть в лотерею), and get frustrated (/начинает/ расстраиваться, отчаиваться), so he decides (и решает поэтому) to ask the Lord why He won't help him to win the lottery (спросить Бога, почему Он не поможет ему выиграть в лотерею).

He yelled up at the sky (он прокричал в небо), "Lord, I never asked you for ana' thin' (= anything) but ta' (= to – но только) win that there Oregon Lottery, and You never did help (и Ты «никогда» = вовсе, ни разу не помог), well WHY? (ну почему)"

Then the clouds above (облака над /ним/) began to part (начали раздвигаться) and in a booming voice (и громовым голосом; to boom – греметь) he heard the Lord say (он услышал, /как/ Бог говорит),

"Pete, I'm gonna need some help on this (Пит, мне понадобится кое-какая помощь в этом; gonna = going to), you have to buy a ticket first (ты должен купить билет для начала)."

Uncle Pete never asked the Lord for anything, but one day he heard about this Oregon Lottery... He began to think about it, and think about it... Then a couple of days later, he asked the Lord,

"You know Lord, I never asked you for anything, I've been going to church every Sunday, praising you and thanking you for what I have, and I sure would like to win that lottery!"

Well, a couple of years went by and Uncle Pete still wanted to, and didn't win that Oregon Lottery. One day while plowing a field he starts thinking about not winning the lottery, and get frustrated, so he decides to ask the Lord why He won't help him to win the lottery.

He yelled up at the sky, "Lord, I never asked you for ana' thin' but ta' win that there Oregon Lottery, and You never did help, well WHY?"

Then the clouds above began to part and in a booming voice he heard the Lord say,

"Pete, I'm gonna need some help on this, you have to buy a ticket first."