Can schools help educate young people to a realistic view of marriage?

Nobody can really teach "marriage" as a subject. Children learn how to encounter other people essentially through their experiences in their families and by observing their parents, brothers and sisters. They find in the family also a model for what marriage is. But good schools encourage the establishment of contact and mutual respect among peers, and this is certainly relevant to the young person's view of marriage.

A broken home may be a cause of the rising juvenile delinquency. A child needs two loving par­ents. When one parent is absent, physically or emotionally, the child can develop great difficulties. Children should be raised with definite rules and limits in the household, or they may become confused and unhappy, unable to set controls on themselves. A family is not a democracy. Children need time to be babied, and a time to be told how to live. Some parents often are found to be too strict with their children, imposing harsh rules without much thought to a particular youngster's needs. Power-income parents, harassed by outside pressures, tend to give low priority to time spent with their youngsters or simply listening to them.

Children can benefit visibly from visits to the offices or factories where their parents work. Understanding more about their elders' activities is described as an effective way of bridging the gaps exist between the two generations.

The small child recognizes only what he sees. What he is told has much less of an impact on sees his mother working around the house, for him. He is told only that his father also works for his well-being; he does not see it. His father leaves early and he comes home when the child is about to be put to bed. The father's work remains unseen and seems unreal, while the mother's are very visible, hence real. The mother, who traditionally is the one who nurtures the child, becomes ever more the carrier of authority. If for no other reason than that she is with the child during the father's working hours, the mother becomes the disciplinarian, the value giver, who tells all day long what goes and what does not. In short, mother knows best, and father next to nothing.

For a child to form his personality out of interacting masculine and feminine images, the two must be truly different. The mother often is both nurturing and demanding, while the father often is neither. The child is not offered the example of one person representing the principle of pleasure and the other person the principle of duty.

(From "A Way to Debating ")

Notes:

Juvenile delinquency - behaviour in which young people do things which are illegal or violent; criminality.

B. Summarize for each other the content of the texts. Comment on their subject. Say what can offset the adverse effect of parents' divorces on children / what parents have to do to deal with the impact of the separation process on children.

8. A. Read the article "Building your Child's Confidence and Self-esteem" (bbc).

From the time a child is born and right through their life span, he or she is constantly developing mentally, socially and physically. Society has a great responsibility in areas of a child's development like their confidence and self-esteem. The more positive children feel about themselves, greater their self-esteem and the better adjusted they are.

On the one hand, there are children who are incredibly shy and don't have the confidence to speak or interact in public. On the other hand, there are also children who are complete extroverts and very confident. Being a shy child is no reflection of a child's mental aptitude. Children who are shy in their childhood more often than not pick up confidence as they go along and turn out to be outgoing confident mature adults.

If your child displays signs of lack of confidence, there's nothing to worry about. You can build their confidence in a number of ways.

• You may have a child between 2 and 4 years who is attending nursery and is not very confident about leaving his home environment. This child may be completely confident at home as he is more accustomed to and comfortable with his surroundings. At the nursery, your child may take a while to get used to new people. Given time and patience, more often than not, children make their own group of friends and learn to interact with them. Obviously great deal of how the child interacts depends on the nature and personality of the child.

• Confidence is a skill we can acquire and develop on a day-to-day basis. You can increase or decrease a child's confidence levels, depending on how you as a parent interact with him or her. Give your child the attention they need and deserve. Praise them but don't overdo the flattery as then it becomes meaningless. There's nothing wrong with criticism and discipline as long as it's helpful and constructive.

• Encouraging children to interact with other children and adults is an excellent confidence booster. Besides school, where children's personalities develop rapidly, organise activities at home for your child and other children. You could even organise outdoor trips for e.g camping trip supervised by adults or a sleep over (a party for children in which they stay the night at someone's house) - anything that involves other children and will bring the less confident ones "out of their shell'.

• Involving children in 'grown-up' activities in which they've expressed interest is another way of boosting their confidence. It also shows them that you do appreciate and listen to what they say. So, if your child has expressed interest in gardening, let them help you. Obviously depending on their age, you can decide how much or the manner in which to involve then

• After-school clubs are another way of making your child more confident about themselves. Here again, this type of group situation makes them more socially aware and more confident about being in groups and interacting with other people.

Raising Self-Esteem in Children

Self-esteem or self-image refers to the perception that people have of themselves. In the same way as adults, children base their self-esteem on the opinions they feel other people have of them. A child who gets positive vibes from his/her parents and other people in society will grow up feeling loved, cared for and have a high self-esteem. On the other hand, children who are constantly subjected to criticism, made to feel that they can never do anything right, not appreciated and excluded will end up with a very low self-esteem.

Children do not acquire self-esteem automatically. Self-esteem is built over a period of time. A child may feel good about themselves at home but not quite have such a positive self-image in the company of his friends or at school. It is important for parents to realise that a child needs to feel that they are special and are appreciated. You need to make your child realise that regardless of what happens outside the home, within the home environment they have the full support of their parents.

There may be other reasons why children sometimes have a low self-esteem - a low opinion of how they may appear to others. One reason could possibly lie in the attitudes of different cultures instance, maybe boys are given more importance than girls or where physical appearance is emphasised. As far as it is possible, parents must try and not discriminate between children or be biased towards one child because of physical, mental or sex differences. There are a few conditions which ensure that self-esteem remains high - remember the word 'image'.

Included- your child needs to feel included at home, in the community or in school. As a parent you can ensure that at least at home he feels a sense of belonging and is included and an integral part of the home life.

Mirror - whatever you think of your child and the way you interact with him/her will be mirrored in his/her behaviour and self-esteem. So, if you are constantly negative with him/her, his/her will mirror this and he/she will have a low opinion of himself. Be positive and loving.

Appreciation - words like 'thank you', 'well done' go a long way in rebuilding someone's broken self-image and their lack of self-worth. It shows that you as a parent care and appreciate what your child has done.

Good feelings - Make your child feel good about themselves with praise and love. Encouragement - Your child may not be confident about doing something. Encourage them to go ahead and make them feel supported.

Parents play an extremely important role in a child's development. Taking your child seriously, appreciating them and giving them love and encouragement will help develop their character and personality that they grow up to be balanced and confident individuals with a high sense of self-esteem.

B .Complete the following chart:
Why do some children display signs of lack of confidence and have low self-esteem?	W What should parents do to build their children's confidence and help them acquire self-esteem?