7. Making evrything new

“For sure God will have to change this world too. If we’re going to be renewed, we have to be given a new environment and new conditions to live in.” Mum prompted as she was ready to continue our study.

The words from Isaiah 65:17-25 confirmed mum’s thinking. She was so happy to hear the words: “…the sounds of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more…no longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat…the wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox…”

We turned to the last book in the Bible, Revelation, to the very last two chapters 21 and 22. Every verse of it was inspirational.

Mum loved joyful occasions; weddings were her favourite. Imagery of the New Jerusalem prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband spoke to us both.“ It shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal…”

“…He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away…I am making everything new!...”

We pondered upon what we had read and realised that the new earth and the New Jerusalem are going to be beautiful and happy places. We couldn’t even start imagining how exciting, meaningful and adventurous life there will be. This lifted us from our human misery, uncertainty and pain. A profound desire to be there, and together as a family, filled our hearts. With these happy thoughts we finished our day.

8. Human before divine

It was January and the days were rather short. Dad made sure to keep the house warm, and I tried my best to prepare food that might tempt mum to eat. A few more domestic chores and my work was done. We had plenty of time to talk. Mum couldn’t do anything but rest.

“Do I have any right to hope to be there?” mum took us back to our spiritual journey.

“You see, it’s hard to live our lives. Things happen you don’t expect, things you never want to happen. The longer you live, the more problems you collect and these don’t make you a better person.” I sensed mum was trying to make an inventory and an assessment of her own life.

She started telling me about one of her pregnancies and how the crisis in her marriage made it unwanted. She didn’t take any care of herself and lost the baby. With tears in her eyes she described the event in details. The secret she kept closed all this time was painfully spoken out loud. She told me of her guilt, and how she buried the baby at the top of our garden under a plum tree. She planted some daffodils there to mark a little grave. Then I remembered, when I was a child I saw her once sprinkling holy water on the flowers and I could not understand what she was doing.

We cried together.

“It’s hard to live with guilt. Sometimes we try to blame someone else but deep down our soul is restless. How can God forgive me? There was more; pride, deception, irresponsibility, gossip... There was much more.”

“How can a sinful man stand before a holy God?”

I hugged mum who felt the pain of sin that was harder and deeper than any physical pain. She realised it separated her from God.