Unit 9. Friends and friendship

Introductory reading and talk

What makes a good friend?

On average each person makes an amazing 363 friends in their life – but only six of them will be true friends! We carried out a global survey to find out makes a “good friend”.

A friend should be there for you all the time, not just when they want to be. They will keep in touch even though you may be far apart. Some of my closest friends live abroad but it doesn’t really make a lot of difference. (Maciek, 19, Poland)

To me a good friend is someone who you have a lot in common with. You can share your beliefs and passions with them. I’m very lucky as I can have three or four people like that but I’m still looking for soulmate. (Haruki, 25, Japan)

I think a good friend is somebody who you can trust and tell secrets to. They will never lie to you. If ever found out that a friend of mine had lied to me, I couldn’t be friends with them anymore. (Emily, 14, Britain)

I think that a true friend is someone who you can feel completely comfortable with and don’t have to make yourself into someone you’re not. They should accept you for who you are and not try to change you. (Mercedes, 31, Spain).

I don’t think you need to have known someone for ages for them to be a really good friend. But I don’t think that they should be there when you feel down or whenever you really need them. (Rachel, 15, New Zealand).

A good friend is someone who listens to you, but, at the same time, doesn’t just agree with everything you say. They should definitely tell you if they think you are making a mistake although that can be hard. (Debbie, 23, South Africa).

I think you know someone will be a really good friend as soon as you meet them. You just click straightaway. Then, the most important thing is trust. You have to know they will always look out for you and be totally loyal to you. (Stefano, 21, Italy).

It is someone who is kind, has a good sense of humor, someone who forgives easily! Sometimes I am not very nice to my best friend but she knows I don’t mean it, so she doesn’t mind really. (Lanza, 16, USA).

For me call someone a really good friend, we have to see eye to eye on most things. I don’t need to have contact all the time but, when I do, I definitely want to feel we are on the same wavelength. (Mick, 36, Ireland)

Exercise 1. Find in the text the English equivalents for the following Russian words and phrases.

1. быть на одной волне; переживать за кого-либо; иметь значение; знать кого-либо всю жизнь; почувствовать искру; притворяться; настоящие друзья; быть на связи; возражать; быть верным кому-либо; родственная душа; делиться переживаниями; проводить опрос.

2. иметь много общего; изменить кого-либо; доверять секреты; определенно; хорошее чувство юмора; иметь один взгляд; быть подавленным; совершать ошибки; чувствовать себя комфортно; быть далеко друг от друга; в среднем; близкие друзья; настоящие друзья.

Exercise 2. Match the words with definitions.

1. to be on the same wavelength	a. a person for whom one has a deep affinity, esp a friend, wife, husband, etc
2. to accept smb. for	b. for certain
3. a soulmate	c. to feel the flash
4. to make somebody into someone	d. to be frustrated
5. on average	e. to take someone as he (she) is.
6.definetly	f. to worry for smb.
7. click straightaway	g. to stay in contact
8. to feel down	h. usually; typically
9. look out for	i. to feel one another perfectly.
10. to keep in touch	j. to pretend

Exercise 3. Match the English idioms in the left column with their Russian equivalents in the right column. Use them in a proper context.

1. A friend in need is a friend indeed А. Дружба дружбой, а табачок врозь

2. Even accounts make long friends В. Друзья познаются в беде

3. Friends are all right when they С. Для милого

don’t interfere with your дружка семь

career верст не околица

4. An old friend is better than D. Дружба дружбой,

5. Be a good soul! E. Дружно – не

грузно

6. Friends are OK when they don’t F. Для милого get in the way дружка серёжка из ушка

7. Many hands make light work G. Старый друг лучше новых двух

8. Friendship laughs at distance I. Дружба дружбой, а служба службой

9. Between friends all is common J. Будь другом!

Exercise 4. Translate the sentences from Russian into English.

1. Я не думаю, что я произвела хорошее впечатление на твоих родителей. Кажется, они не особо мной заинтересовались.

2. Первый раз, когда мы встретились, между нами промелькнула искра. Это было восхитительно. Вскоре мы начали встречаться.

3. У нас много общего. Конечно, мы оба работаем на одну и ту же компанию, но мы любим также проводить время вместе в неформальной обстановке.

4. У меня и моей сестры разные взгляды на жизнь. Мы спорим с самого детства.

5. Она воспринимает мир так же, как я. Мы с ней на одной волне.

6. Настоящий друг всегда поддержит тебя в трудную минуту, где бы ты ни находился.

7. Иметь близкого друга – очень важная вещь в жизни.

8. Семья всегда важнее, чем друзья.

9. Новый друг никогда не заменит старого, проверенного временем друга.

10. - Как долго вы уже встречаетесь со своей девушкой? – Всего лишь год, но кажется, мы знаем друг друга целую вечность.

Exercise 5. Read and translate the text.

Friendship. Cultural variations.

Ancient Greece

A topic of moral philosophy much discussed by Plato, Aristotle, and the Stoics, but less so in the modern era, until the re-emergence of contextualist and feminist approaches to ethics.

In friendship an ‘openness’ of each to the other is found that can be seen as an enlargement of the self. Aristotle writes that ‘the excellent person is related to his friend in the same way as he is related to himself, since a friend is another self; and therefore, just as his own being is choiceworthy for him, the friend's being is choice-worthy for him in the same or a similar way.’

Friendship therefore opens the door to an escape from egoism or belief that the rational course of action is always to pursue one's own self-interest, although escaping through the door would require finding what is covered by Aristotle's ‘same or similar way’. It is notable that friendship requires sentiments to which Kant denies moral importance. It is a purely personal matter, requiring virtue, yet which runs counter to the universalistic requirement of impartial treatment of all, for a friend is someone who is treated differently from others. One problem is to reconcile these apparently conflicting requirements.