Its done call me

What did that mean? What was it, and why did Bill have to call him? Tom debated on calling Andreas, but decided against it with the current tension in their three sided relationship. He put the phone down and stared at it for a moment. What did he think his brother and best friend were up to? He didn’t think they were cheating because Bill wasn’t gay. The jealous beast inside his chest roared happily at the thought that he was the only man that Bill had ever slept with.

Tom sighed and shook his head as he grabbed the room service menu. He needed to eat and so did Bill.

~*~

Gustav bit his lip as he shoved forward and enjoyed the breathless moan he received from Georg as the bassist pushed back against his thrust. The blond enjoyed watching the muscles ripple under the skin of his friend’s back and he ran his hands along the soft skin there as he pounded the tight heat wrapped around his cock.

He was so happy that Georg enjoyed sex doggie style as much as he did. A friendly wrestling match ended when their groins collided and soon the mood in the room turned from playful to sexual as they let their tongues do the wrestling. One thing led to another and brought them to this wonderful point in time.

“Oh god Gustav,” Georg rumbled low as he pushed back against the thrust. Gustav knew that desperation, the fine tremble that started up his friend’s thighs and went straight through Georg’s body to his cock. The drummer shuddered and tried to keep rhythm as he reached around and grabbed Georg’s dick.  The sounds the older boy made should’ve been illegal as Gustav slid his thumb across the slit.

“Shit,” he swore as he felt the familiar build up in his balls. It had become a competition between the two of them, who would come first. He’d lost last time and was determined to make Georg pay. It was time to pull out the big guns. Gustav widened Georg’s legs and angled his thrusts upwards. The squeak he managed to pull out of his deep voiced partner was akin to something that would come from Bill, and Gustav smiled. He had him.

He grunted as he thrust hard, and from the sounds of involuntary pleasure Gustav knew he hit the prostate dead on. Georg squeezed his ass repeatedly as he too pulled his last ditch effort. Both men were being dragged towards the finish line and out of sheer desperation and lack of any other ideas the drummer bit Georg on the shoulder at the same moment he fisted his cock hard.

Georg stiffened in surprise and with a groan his whole body shook as he came explosively on the sheets; Gustav finally tumbled into his orgasm with two more thrusts. When his body began to cooperate again he slumped forward on top of Georg and with a sigh kissed him on the cheek. “God,” he said breathlessly. “I really needed that.”

“You?” Georg smiled and groaned as Gustav pulled out of him. “I still say you cheated on that fucking video game.”

“I did not,” Gustav flopped on the bed and turned to grin at him. “Well, maybe a little.”

“Because you knew I’d wrestle you for it.”

“Probably.”

“And wrestling would lead to sex,” Georg chuckled.

“Probably.”

“Gustav, you don’t have to make up reasons to come see me, or for us to have sex. I enjoy it as much as you do,” he said as he wiped his brow. “Besides, you give me quite a workout.”

“I know; I just feel weird calling you for a booty call.”

“We agreed to keep this light, right? If you want sex, you want it. No big deal,” Georg replied easily. Gustav looked at him for a moment before he leaned over and kissed him quickly.

“Good to know. Now get up, we’re going to the movies.”

“My god man, haven’t you heard of afterglow? You’re supposed to bask in it,” Georg rumbled and laughed as his tee shirt hit him in the face.

~*~

Bill smiled around his pickle and hummed happily. Tom just stared at him as he shook his head slowly. “Really Bill? Pickles, strawberries and chocolate?”

“If it hadn’t been for your pancakes with strawberries and white chocolate then I wouldn’t have tried it,” Bill said defensively with his mouth full.

“Still, you take something as holy and wonderful as white chocolate chip pancakes with strawberry syrup and turn it into… pregnancy food,” Tom blanched as he cut the delectable breakfast before him. The kitchen of the bed and breakfast served their morning meal until dinner time, which both Tom and Bill were immensely grateful. They ordered all sorts of breakfast foods and now happily consumed their order.

“Pregnancy food?” Bill paused with another pickle halfway to his mouth. “For your information it’s your daughter that wants the pickles. I’d be happy to leave them alone, but I’m craving them something fierce,” he lamented as he popped the rest of the dill delight in his mouth and smiled happily. “And she’s ecstatic,” Bill cooed as he rubbed his stomach. He hadn’t felt this relaxed and comfortable in a long time. In the back of his mind he felt normal again, even if a small voice in his head said they were running from their problems. They hadn’t run… they just had to get away for a while.

They were on the couch as they ate in relative silence, Bill with his head on Tom’s shoulder as he ate. Soon he was happy and the baby was happy so he stopped and hummed again in happiness. He hadn’t heard their mother fuss in hours; it felt great.

“You look so… peaceful right now. What are you thinking about?” Tom asked abruptly.

Bill blushed and sat up. “Nothing, just thinking I’m glad I can’t hear Mom right now. She’s driving me insane,” he admitted.

“Figures; I tried talking to her and she said she wouldn’t do it again, but-”

“We saw how that went,” Bill finished as he nodded. Before Tom could respond Bill’s phone rang and he picked it up after a brief glance at the LCD. “What’s up Andreas? I didn’t get a text,” he said as he leaned back. He looked over at Tom and his twin had the good grace to blush slightly. His heart pounded as he thought what the text may have said. If it had anything about the bribe in it then Tom would have been all over him with the questions about what was going on. He stood up and began to pace.

“Well, I sent you one,” Andreas said curtly. “I made the exchange and I have the money. I can bring it over when I come tonight.”

“Tonight?” he frowned.

“… The dinner your mother planned? It’s in two and a half hours. Where are you by the way? Your mother called me trying to find you. I told her the truth; I didn’t know. Call her before she has an aneurysm please. Is Tom with you?”

“Of course,” Bill said slowly. “Where else would he be?”

“Nowhere else, I guess.  I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, bye,” Bill hung up the phone and looked at his guilty twin. “Why didn’t I know I had a text message?” he asked quietly.

“Because I looked at it,” Tom said without remorse.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to know why Andreas sent you a text,” he said simply.

Bill sighed as he scratched his arm. “He’s our best friend Tom, why wouldn’t he send me a text?”

“He didn’t send me one,” Tom retorted pointedly.

“Probably because you threatened to beat him up just last night; I’m not sure, I could be wrong.” Tom rose and came to stand in front of his twin.

“Look, I’m still trying to wrap my head around what he did. I’m just…”

“I know. I know but you’ve got to remember he’s our cover now. For better or for worse we’re going to have to deal with this. I think Andreas taking credit or whatever is better than the alternative. They’d take you away from me Tomi, and I know I’d die without you,” Bill said seriously as he grabbed onto Tom’s oversized shirt. He blinked back tears and laughed softly. “Look at me, crying all over the place.”

“Don’t cry Bill, I’m sorry. I just… I wish you didn’t seem so willing to do this,” Tom said honestly as he pulled the raven haired teen towards him, careful not to press hard. Bill sniffed on his shoulder and sighed.

“You think I wanted this? I want to shout to the world that I’m having your baby but I obviously can’t, and since I don’t think anyone’s going to believe the whole Immaculate Conception excuse, this is the best we have. Okay?” he looked at Tom and kissed him quickly. “Okay?” Bill asked again.

“Yeah, fine,” Tom finally responded reluctantly.

“Good. Now we’ve got to get ready for this stupid dinner…thingy. Thank you Mom,” he said sarcastically.

Tom sighed and watched Bill move around the room carefully. He didn’t want to go to this dinner; something told him it would be a disaster.

~*~

Bill ran his hands through his hair and tried not to feel like he was on display as Andreas’ parents, Mara and Fredrick Veicht, stared at him. His mother told him not to wear something so big so they could get used to the idea that he was indeed pregnant, but from the looks he received he wished he’d gone against her advice. He felt exposed in the shirt that revealed the growing swell of his stomach, not to mention the breasts as Mara couldn’t take her eyes off of them. He was pretty certain it was them more than the stomach that threw her.

Everyone was in the living room; Gordon and his mother were on the couch with Andreas’ parents, Bill was in the chair with his feet up on the ottoman and Andreas and Tom shared the love seat. How ironic. No one was really speaking and the loaded silence pressed against Bill’s brain and made his head hurt. He began to feel achy all over again and wanted to run back to the bed and breakfast. With one look he knew that Tom would take him but he couldn’t do that if this lie was going to work.

If this lie could work.

If he wanted this lie to work.

Did he?

Bill snapped out of his musing when he realized someone asked him something. “What?” he frowned as he came back to the present.

“I asked how far along are you?” Mrs. Veicht smiled hesitantly.

Bill really wanted to tell her to look at his face when speaking to him, but decided to let it go for now. “I’m four months.”

“That doesn’t give us much time. I’ve gotta say, I wonder why you waited so long to say something,” Fredrick said hesitantly.

“Time for what?” Tom asked. It was the first time he’d spoken all night. All through dinner he was tight lipped and seemed on the verge of an angry outburst. Bill had been on edge as he waited for the other shoe to drop. It never did.

“To get the supplies together. A baby doesn’t just pop out fully equipped you know,” Mrs. Veicht caught Andreas’ look as he caught her stare at Bill’s chest again. “Financial plans have to be made.”

Simone nodded in approval. “I think that would best.”

“We don’t need financial help,” Bill almost laughed at the idea. Money was the least of their problems at the moment.

“But I’m sure it could help,” Simone waved away the statement as if it didn’t matter. “We can sit down at another time and make a budget and decide who gets to do what shopping. If we split this up we could have a nursery furnished and ready to go in a month with time to spare,” she smiled.

“That would be great. I remember when I was expecting Andreas’ older sister I didn’t do any planning and I ended up spending my eighth month running around trying to get the nursery together. If we go ahead and do it now I think some fall sales will be coming soon. The summer is almost gone,” Mara reminded him.

“It’s just June,” Bill said crankily. He didn’t want to be here anymore, no one was listening anyway. Gordon looked uncomfortable, as did Fredrick as their wives chatted animatedly about baby mobiles and the best color for a nursery.

“You want a beer?” Gordon asked Andreas’ dad out of the blue. The man looked positively indebted as they practically ran to the kitchen to leave the women to talk babies. Andreas looked as if he finally got what it meant to say he was the “father”. If Bill hadn’t been so angry and tired he would have laughed at the blond’s discomfort.

But instead he had to listen to his mother prattle on about the color pink since it was a girl and how she couldn’t wait to say she was a grandmother and to braid the little girl’s hair and how they could go together to start to buy the infant clothing. He caught Tom’s funny look from across the room and had to agree. It sounded as if they hadn’t planned to include him. “Uh… Tom and I are going to go shopping Mrs. Veicht,” Bill said loudly as he tried to get their attention.

“You and Tom?” she asked with barely hidden derision. “Do you know what you’ll need? Do you know where to go? And please, you should call me Mara.”

“Well Mara we can look up what we’ll need online, and I’m sure we can find everything we need in Hamburg,” Bill replied evenly. She looked somewhat taken aback and he was pleased he’d wiped the self satisfied smirk from her face.

“But we’ve actually been pregnant, and can help you. Andreas, you wouldn’t deny your mother the opportunity to shop for her first grandchild would you?”

The poor blond looked like a deer caught in headlights but the three teens realized they didn’t even have to be there, their mothers were happy to make all the decisions themselves. That didn’t sit well with Bill. He had to carry the child, so shouldn’t he have a say?

“But what about what I want?” Bill asked as he stood up carefully. “I want to pick out my child’s clothes and decide what color the nursery is,” he said firmly.

Simone looked at her son and blushed. “I’m sorry Bill, I didn’t mean for it to seem like we were totally leaving you out of the loop, I think we just got a bit excited,” she said placating. He didn’t respond and everyone looked over as a particularly loud bark of laughter came from the kitchen. “Looks like our husbands are enjoying themselves,” Simone said to Mara with amusement.

“Perhaps too much; we should go, Bill looks tired and Fredrick has to be up earlier than he remembers tomorrow morning. I really enjoyed dinner, it was lovely.” She and Simone rose and gave each other big hugs. “Did we ever think we’d be in this position?” she asked as they pulled away.

“Never,” Simone laughed softly.

“Mysterious ways, right?” Mara shrugged and held her arms out to Bill. “Can I get a hug?” she asked softly.

Bill didn’t want to play nice with anyone this evening. His nerves were shot and his back was beginning to hurt to keep his head company; but he swallowed his discomfort and gave Andreas’ mother a hug. When Mara pulled away she put her hands on Bill’s stomach and smiled. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Please don’t touch the stomach,” Bill frowned as he pulled her hands away. The feeling of someone he didn’t particularly like touching his stomach made it do flip flops and he could tell his daughter didn’t agree with the overly friendly Mrs. Veicht.

“Bill!” Simone shot him a look as Mara seemed taken down a peg.

“I’m sorry, I…” she blushed and walked to the kitchen to retrieve her husband.

“What?” he snapped as Andreas sighed and Simone glared at him.

“You’ve got to understand how she feels. Mara’s just excited, it’s her first grandchild too.”

“I don’t care. You’re supposed to ask if you can touch the stomach. I read that online so I’m not the only person who feels weirded out when people touch it.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Simone did not want to cause another argument, not when the guests were still here. She smiled inwardly; they weren’t really guests, they were family. She’d always liked Andreas’ parents and now they would be the proud grandparents of a beautiful baby girl. Simone looked down at the coffee table where the ultrasound lay. Everyone had crowded around and ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ at the hands and toes and little head of the life inside of her Bill.

Andreas stood up as his parents returned to the living room, and pleasantries were exchanged as everyone promised to do this again. Well, everyone except Bill and Tom, but no one really paid any attention to them, as it seemed. “I’ll call you in the morning,” he said to Bill quietly as he followed his parents to the door. Before dinner had started Andreas had dragged the heavy suitcase back upstairs and it currently resided in the back of Bill’s closet; no one touched Bill’s closet for fear of death.

“Yeah, okay,” Bill waved and watched everyone leave, and as the door closed a large weight lifted from his shoulders. He got through the evening and didn’t tell anyone off, nor did Tom blurt out their secret. He looked down at his hands and realized they were shaking. Bill felt he could sleep a week, after he had some ice cream. “Tomi, I’m ready.”

Simone frowned; she didn’t really like the idea of Bill at a hotel, but there was no alternative until Bill bought a new bed. “When are we going to look at some beds?” she asked lightly, determined not to start another pseudo argument.

“Not tonight. We’ll be back sometime tomorrow,” Tom said; his first words since he walked into the house that evening. He grabbed his keys and motioned for Bill to go out the door first.

“Don’t you want to stay for desert? We’ve got butterscotch ice cream?”

“No, but I’ve got to go to the bathroom before we go. I’ll come out after,” Bill suddenly looked panicked as he rushed to the bathroom.

“I definitely don’t miss that.” She said with a smile. Tom just stared at his shoes and her smile faltered. “What’s wrong Tom? You’ve been silent all evening.”

“I haven’t really felt like talking,” he said with a shrug as he hoped Bill would be out as quickly as possible.

“I noticed. What’s wrong?” he looked up into a face full of maternal love and wanted to tell her. Wanted to believe that parental love was unconditional and they would be understood. That Tom could say he was the father and Simone would hug him like she hugged Andreas.

“Nothing,” Tom mumbled. Bill came from down the hall with relief written all over his face, and gave their parents a quick wave as he grabbed Tom’s arm.

“Bye!”

“Be safe boys,” Gordon said as he came and stood next to Simone as she waved. Tom closed the front door in relief even though the stagnant air of summer hit him dead in the face.

“Can we go by the grocery store Tomi? I wanted to pick up a few things,” Bill said as his twin helped him into the car and with the seat belt.

“What do you want?” Tom frowned. He really wanted to just go to the bed and breakfast so he could go to sleep and forget this horrible night ever happened.

“Some ice cream.”

“There was ice cream for dessert in the house Bill,” he sighed.

“Did you want to stay there any longer than we had too?” Bill asked pointedly.

“Grocery store it is.” 

Author's Chapter Notes:

Bill thought so. DARCY I LOVE YOU! *ahem* She was my last minute beta people.

“There?” Tom smiled as Bill looked over the top of his notebook and smiled blissfully.

“Absolutely,” he murmured as he bit the pencil and glanced down at what he wrote. Bill settled further down on the couch and hummed as his twin’s nimble fingers rubbed away the ache in his instep. It was the fourth night at the bed and breakfast, and they’d found a nice and relaxed routine, something they both needed.

“Feet beginning to hurt already?” his brother teased, and Bill snorted.

“Your child is heavy.”

“My child?” Tom asked incredulously.

“Yes, your child.” Bill put the pad and pen down and closed his eyes as he began to hum and rub his stomach. Tom barely remembered to continue his massage as he watched his twin caress his abdomen and hum the guitar part he’d just played around with. After a moment, Bill stopped and Tom pinched his big toe gently. “What?” he asked.

“Don’t stop,” Tom said softly as he blushed a little.

“Why?”

“Because,” he mumbled.

“Because why?” Bill nudged his brother with the foot not currently in Tom’s hand and grinned.

“Because you look really beautiful,” Tom said before he kissed Bill’s instep. He pressed a kiss to his ankle and ran his face along the smooth skin of Bill’s leg and kissed his knee. Bill laughed breathlessly as Tom shot him a grin and lifted the hem of his shirt to kiss the swell there. It seemed to grow every day, and Tom moved the elastic waistband down a bit further and kissed the scar at the bottom of his twin’s stomach.

Bill smiled and accepted the kiss on the lips as he wrapped his arms around Tom’s neck. Everything felt good and he wasn’t tired and he and Tom could just… enjoy each other without having to worry about prying eyes or too much noise. He sighed as Tom mouthed kisses down his neck and just as he came tantalizingly close to his breast; his cell phone rang on the coffee table.

“Shit,” Tom groaned and snatched up the offending gadget. He looked at the caller ID and put it back on the table.

“Who was it?” Bill asked as he pushed him away.

“Just Andreas,” Tom said, as he leaned in to kiss Bill again.

Bill put his finger on Tom’s lips and motioned for the phone. Tom sighed and gave it to his twin as he sat back on the couch near Bill’s feet and watched him call their friend back. “Hello Andreas? Sorry about that. I didn’t get to my phone in time.”

“It’s cool. I just wanted to know if you’d need transportation for tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah, that would be great.” Bill swung his feet out of Tom’s lap and ignored the look his twin gave him as he sat up. “You know where we’re staying, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen it before. Are you okay, though? Getting some rest?” Bill could hear the concern in his best friend’s voice and felt warm.

“Yeah, I’m getting rest. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Bill hung up the phone and leaned back; he felt Tom’s steady gaze and turned to look at his brother. “What?”

“Nothing; what’s going on tomorrow morning?” he asked nonchalantly.

“Nothing much, I have to go do something with Andreas, that’s all.” Bill looked away and shrugged. Tom nodded slowly.

“What time do you want me ready?”

“Oh… it’s just something Andreas has to do, and he wanted me to come along. It would be boring to you, anyway,” Bill said hastily as he picked up the pad and pencil and looked over the half formed lyrics. Tom nodded again and picked up his guitar.

“Okay, it’s cool.”

“Great.” Bill looked at Tom and smiled before he grabbed his tee shirt and pulled him closer for a scorching kiss. “Don’t sulk.”

“I’m not sulking, that’s your job, Diva.” Tom leaned in and kissed Bill again. He put his guitar down on the coffee table gently and turned his attention full on his brother’s sweet mouth. Tom cradled Bill’s head with his hand and gathered him into his arms with the other. Bill had his hands in Tom’s locks as he mapped his mouth with his tongue. It had been a while since they had done anything with this much intensity and Tom realized how much he missed the intimacy of kisses.

Bill made a small sound at the back of his throat and Tom’s groin tightened as he reluctantly pulled himself away from his twin’s mouth and inhaled the scent of his skin behind his ear. “Tomi,” Bill breathed desperately. Tom closed his eyes against the rush of blood as it flowed south, and bit Bill’s earlobe softly. “Tomi…”

“Yeah, Bill?” His voice came out croaky, as if he’d smoked a whole carton of cigarettes and went to sleep right after.

“If you don’t get off of me right now, I’m going to pee on you,” Bill said apologetically as he pushed his brother aside and scrambled up as quickly as possible. Tom watched him run for the bathroom and slam the door shut, and he hit the back of the couch angrily.

Damn bladder.

 

~*~

 

“I still can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“Doctor Addams, I hope you’re not thinking of going back on your deal,” Bill said firmly as he watched her open the case. She gasped at the vast amount of money before her and closed it quickly, guiltily.

“Please, call me Roberta,” she said absently. “And no, I’m not. I just feel…”

“Imagine how I feel,” Bill said as he turned away. Roberta looked at him and nodded.

“Yeah.” There was a brief awkward silence as Roberta lugged the bag into the back of her car. She turned back to Bill and looked at him briefly. “Have you made your appointment yet?”

“No, not yet. But I will,” he reassured her.

“I’m serious, Bill; you’ve got to make the appointment as soon as possible. Every pregnancy needs regular check ups to make sure that you and the baby remain safe and healthy.” Roberta pulled a pair of gloves out of her pocket and motioned him closer. “I want to examine the scar and make sure there are no infections or discolorations.”

“Everything’s fine,” Bill said as he came closer, lifting his shirt and pulling down the waistband of his pants. They were in an abandoned parking lot at the edge of town; no one came to the area except teenagers, and that was at night to have sex. Andreas was at the front of the lot, posted as the look out, while Bill and Doctor Addams concluded business.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” She pressed her fingers gently near the scar and looked up for Bill’s reaction.  He looked uncomfortable, but didn’t hiss in pain. “It’s healing very well. I forget the younger you are, the better you heal.”

“Lucky me,” he said sardonically as he shifted under her touch.

“You’ve gotten bigger, I don’t have a measuring tape to find out how much, but you’re progressing very well.” Roberta couldn’t help but be happy at the wonderful rate Bill was recovering. It was a bit daunting to perform abdominal surgery on a patient who was still expected to be able to continue a pregnancy; the worry was that as the abdominal walls were required to stretch the wound would reopen, amongst other complications that could ensue. Luckily, none of that seemed to be on the horizon for Bill.

“Yeah, I noticed. All I can fit into now are these hideous track pants. They used to fall down halfway and now they’re getting a bit…”

“Tight?” she offered with a smile.

“Yeah.” Bill pulled down his shirt and adjusted his pants. “Are we done?”

“Yes, Bill, we’re done. Please call Doctor Anderson and get an appointment. He’s very good and in high demand, but you’ll need his expertise if we’re going to make sure everything stays on course for you.”

“I will, Doctor; I mean, Roberta.” He gave her a wave and turned to walk back to Andreas. By the time he made it back to his friend and his car, Doctor Addams passed them on her way out, and waved once more before she turned onto the street.

“Hey criminal, how does it feel to break the law?” the blond joked as Bill glared at him. Andreas’s smile dropped off and he held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, it was just a joke.”

“This is my life, Andi, it’s not a joke.” Bill waited for his best friend to open the door and he climbed inside.

“Do you want to go get some food?” Andreas asked, after he slid behind the wheel. Bill shook his head and sighed.

“No, I want Tomi.”

~*~

“Yes, thank you. We’ll be there,” Tom nodded, although the person on the other end of the phone couldn’t see him. He jotted down a bit more information and hung up, immensely pleased with himself. He’d just gotten off the phone with Doctor Anderson’s office; Bill had an appointment scheduled for two days from then, just a couple of hours before Tom was due to the airport for a flight to Paris. It was cut close, but Tom had no problem with it. He’d just pack before he left and sleep on the plane.

He turned around as Bill came in, and he heard the laughter of his twin and his best friend drift into the kitchen before they did. “Hey,” Tom said to them both as he sat down at the table and pulled the cornflakes to him. “What did you guys do that you had to be up so early?”

“Errands,” Bill and Andreas answered in unison, and they both collapsed into giggles. Tom frowned and tried to keep his face expressionless as he poured himself some milk.

“What kind of errands?” Before Bill could respond, Simone breezed into the kitchen as she clasped her bracelet around her wrists.

“Good morning, boys, I didn’t think you all would be here,” she said as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

“Cornflakes taste better at home,” Tom offered by way of explanation as Bill shrugged.

“I’m sure. I’m going grocery shopping later on today. Bill, if you want something special, could you put it on a list?”

Bill blinked slowly and nodded. Was his mother being reasonable and nice all of a sudden? Maybe their absence made her realize how big of a nuisance she’d been. “Yeah, that would be great.” His stomach rumbled and Bill realized he hadn’t eaten that morning. He just got up and went to bribe a medical official. He came out of his brief self loathing to see Tom stare at him strangely.

“Sit,” Tom said as he pulled out a chair and handed him a bowl. Bill complied and quickly poured the cereal as Andreas sat beside him and grabbed a bowl of his own. As soon as the milk and flakes hit his tongue, Bill hummed happily as the baby did what felt like an ecstatic flip and he wolfed down the rest of his cereal.

The phone rang and, as the only person in the room who didn’t currently have their mouth full, Simone went and answered it. “Hello? Oh… okay then. That’s not a problem, I’ll tell them. Thank you, bye.” She put the phone back on its base and turned to Bill. “You made an appointment with a Doctor Anderson?” she asked curiously.

Before Bill could swallow his mouthful, Tom shook his head and swallowed. “No, it was me. I made it for two days from now,” he said hastily. “Right before I have to go to France.” Before Bill could respond, Simone continued.

“Well, that was someone from the office. They said they can’t take you on Thursday at one, they’re going to have to push it back to Friday, same time.”

“We’ll call them back, I won’t be here.” Tom looked at his mother pointedly.

“They said the next available appointment is on Tuesday. Bill needs to get a check up before then,” she said firmly.

“But I won’t be there,” Tom retorted.

“Andreas can take him. He should, it’s his child.” She looked at the teen. “So, you’ll take Bill to the doctor.”

“Yes ma’am,” Andreas responded quickly, and Simone nodded.

“Settled.”

Bill sighed and suddenly had the urge to throw up. Ever since he came clean with Tom, he hadn’t been to the doctor without him, and the thought terrified him slightly. He looked up and saw the hurt in his twin’s expression and again cursed the fact that their mother was so… determined to make Andreas take what she felt was his ‘rightful place’.

“Yeah, no problem,” Andreas said lamely as he cast furtive glances at the twins. He knew them long enough to read their moods almost as well as his own. Tom was pissed and irritated, and Bill probably blamed himself.

“I’m going upstairs to change clothes,” Bill said dully as he pushed his chair away from the table. Simone looked as if she wanted to say something but didn’t as she watched her son practically run from the room. Bill trudged up the stairs and went into his room, glad to be away from his mother’s questing gaze. Too long in the same room together he felt judged and he didn’t need that right now. The beginnings of a headache prickled behind his eyes and he turned around just before Tom opened his door.

“Hey,” he said quietly as he closed it behind him.

“Hey. Do you want me to push the appointment back? Because I will, we can do it after you come back from Paris,” Bill babbled as Tom pulled him close for a hug. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as his twin rubbed comforting circles on the small of his back.

“No, you need to get with a regular doctor and stick to one. Andreas can take you this one time; there will be plenty of opportunities for me to come along with you, okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” Bill sniffed and wiped his eyes as he laughed. “I feel like a leaky faucet,” he admitted.

“Don’t. You’re beautiful.” Tom kissed his forehead and then his lips. Bill smiled into the kiss and nodded.

“A beautiful person who has run out of clothes to wear… I can’t fit into my tee shirts and I don’t want to stretch them, and my pants? These are the only ones I can wear now.” Bill pointed to the track pants he currently sported.

“That’s not good.” Tom blanched, and sighed. “I’m going to hate myself for suggesting this, but why don’t we go shopping?”

“Don’t tease me,” Bill said sharply as he glared at his twin.

“I’m not, I looked up some places to get maternity clothes for guys and there are quite a few places online, and one boutique in Hamburg. If you don’t mind a ride we can go and get you something to wear.”

“Oh Tomi!” Bill squealed and clapped his hands. The mere thought of shopping lifted his spirits. “I’m going to change my shirt and apply my make up and I’ll be down in a second!” he squealed again, and kissed Tom before he darted off. Tom watched his brother flit around until he declared himself ready, and they trooped back downstairs.

Simone was no where around and Andreas still sat at the kitchen table with the day’s newspaper turned to the comics. “Where’s Mom?” Bill asked with a frown; he wanted to avoid her so nothing could ruin his good mood.

“She went shopping,” the blond said as he looked up. He noticed Bill’s bright eyes and freshly applied make up and his breath caught in his throat. It was unfair how Bill’s beauty would sneak up on you at the most random of times; painful reminders of how pretty he was and how he would never be his. But he was a pro and kept his easy smile plastered on.

“So are we,” Tom rumbled from inside the refrigerator. He came out with his bounty, the last coke in the house, and slammed the door shut.

“Oh, then I’ll go home.” Andreas closed the newspaper and grabbed his bowl. Tom watched their friend prepare to leave and something inside of him twisted. Just a few months earlier he would have invited him along. Maybe it was time to stop holding a grudge.

“You could come if you want,” Tom said easily, as he tried to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. He caught Bill’s gaze and braced himself as his twin dragged him over for a kiss.

Andreas watched the two as they seemed to forget he was there; his heart clenched but he accepted anyway. He could never turn down the opportunity to spend time with Bill.

~*~

“That’s gross.”

“What is that?”

“Stripes.”

“You like stripes.”

“Those look like insane stripes.”

“Do you remember that suit?”

“That was high fashion. It doesn’t count.”

“High fashion my ass,” Andreas retorted as he snatched the pants out of Tom’s hand and shoved them back on the rack. The guitarist snorted and moved on as they looked around the store. It was small but had a wide selection for the varied customers they expected. The Paternity Store, it was called, in what someone probably considered a clever manner.

Bill shoved them both and wandered off in search of dark colors and tight pants as he left Tom and Andreas to quiet jokes about the golf gear for pregnant men. Andreas pulled out a pair of shorts that couldn’t have been uglier, and Tom turned around and gaped as he was caught off guard. “Holy shit, what the fuck is that?”

“Paternity golf chic, or so they say.” He looked at the price and whistled. “Eighty Euros,” Andreas snorted and put it back.

“For eighty Euros those hideous pants better suck my dick while I’m wearing them,” Tom joked and both boys collapsed into laughter.

“Could you imagine that?” Andreas managed to get out between laughing.

“I’d never take them off,” Tom gasped out, and his groin ached at a random memory of Bill on his knees before him as he looked up with that lust filled gaze that made his knees weak every time.

“Me neither.”

Tom looked over to the other side of the room and watched Bill speak to a salesperson as he pointed to a pair of pants a mannequin modeled in the window.  “I guess Bill found something he liked,” he mused at the happy grin on his twin’s face.

“I’m glad; the big and tall shop wasn’t a good idea.” Andreas idly pushed some shirts aside and frowned at the black and white flowers. “Who would wear something like this?” He put it against his body and his slender frame was dwarfed. Tom looked back and shook his head in distaste.

“Hell if I know. But they should be arrested for making it. Enabling and what not.”

“This is nice,” Andreas said quietly and Tom shifted his weight uneasily.

“What do you mean?”

“The three of us. Hanging out. When was the last time that happened? And we all actually had fun? Because I don’t count that horrible dinner,” he added.

“Me neither. I don’t know, it’s been a while.” Tom shrugged.

“I don’t want you to hate me, Tom; I just… wanted to help. I wanted to do what I thought you’d do for me; if I didn’t know how to get out of something. I knew if she kept going she’d get you to confess, and that would be the end of everything.”

“Yeah, I know.” Tom’s skin felt prickly and he knew his face was red; he hated to talk about this but he didn’t want to tell Andreas to stop, he could tell he needed to get it off of his chest. “I’m not mad at you, I’m pissed at everything else.”

“Sometimes I look at you and you just…” Andreas shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining things.”

Tom’s eyebrow rose as he stared at the rack in front of him, suddenly consumed by the need to stare blankly at ugly pants. He knew Andreas hadn’t imagined anything. Lately, whenever Tom had to look at Andreas, he had very deadly scenarios that ended with the painful death of their friend. In the light of the conversation he felt somewhat sheepish about it.

Somewhat.

“I don’t know, I guess I’ve been a dick lately.”

“Lately?” Tom looked up and swatted Andreas. It felt good to not want to kill the blond and both teens looked up as they heard Bill screech from somewhere over by the dressing rooms.

“I’M A COW!”

Tom sprinted to where he thought Bill was and wrenched the curtain back. His twin was in the middle of the booth clad in only a pair of pants and his bra as he gazed forlornly in the mirror. “What?” Tom asked irritably. He hated when Bill screamed bloody murder and there was no murder.

“I’m fucking huge.” The vocalist turned this way and that as he glared at the mirror. In pants that actually fit you couldn’t get away from the fact that Bill was pregnant. The legs were as slender as he was used to, but the waist had room for his expanded abdomen. He whimpered as he changed poses to see if he could minimize his stomach.

Tom looked back at Andreas and rolled his eyes as he closed the curtain and sighed. “Look Bill, you knew this time would come. You can’t fit into your clothes so you had to buy bigger ones, its natural.”

“Don’t tell me what’s fucking natural; this whole situation is unnatural!” he screeched and threw a shirt at the offensive reflective surface.

“Bill, calm down, okay?”

“You fucking calm down!” Bill turned his ire on his twin as he spun on his heels. “This is all your fault.”

“What? All my fault?” Tom squeaked out indignantly.

“Yes, you. If you didn’t have such a fascination with sticking your dick in my as- Where are you going?” Bill frowned as Tom just abruptly walked out of the booth. Andreas ducked in and his face had worry written all over it.

“Bill, dude, you might want to chill out on screaming the whole ‘dick’ and ‘ass’ thing out like that,” he advised as he picked up a discarded shirt. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m ugly and I’m fat,” Bill groaned as he caught another glimpse of himself in the mirror. “And I think my ass is getting fat.”

“Face it; it’s going to get bigger probably.”

“Fucked up pep talk Andreas,” Bill? grumbled but the blond only shook his head.

“Sorry, all out of pep talks. Bill, you know you’re going to get bigger and it’s going to be harder to look at yourself in the mirror, but you’ve got to remember you look fine. Usually better than you did before the pregnancy.” Andreas smiled.

Bill pouted but deep down inside, he had to agree. His skin had started to clear up beautifully and his hair was definitely thicker and more manageable. “I’ve never been anything but skinny, this scares me,” he admitted.

“I know, but this is for a good cause. I could see you upset if you sat on your ass all day and ate pizza and ice cream, but you’re pregnant. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, it just is. So cut Tom some slack, he’s a bit stressed.”

“Oh god, I just did a serious psycho flip on him, didn’t it?” Bill asked in horror.

“I heard you, brutal.” Andreas grinned. His gaze lingered on Bill’s body and suddenly the teen realized he was only wearing a bra and pants. He took the shirt from Andreas and put it on.

“Thanks, seriously.”

“No problem, my aunt has six kids; I’m used to the pregnancy mood swings.”

“Yeah, but I’m not.” Bill closed his eyes and wished he could rub his face, but then he’d smudge his make up and that just wouldn’t do.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, after we’re done here we gotta get something to eat. We’re starving.” Bill rubbed his stomach tenderly.

“Then I’ll let you get back to it.” Andreas ducked out and a second later, an irate Tom was shoved through the curtain as he protested. He turned around and looked at Bill sullenly before he moved to leave again.

“Wait!” Bill stepped forward and grabbed his arm.

“Do you want to yell at me some more?” Tom asked petulantly as he allowed himself to be pulled back. Bill nuzzled against his neck and Tom frowned; not quite ready to forgive Bill

 “I’m sorry, Tomi, I don’t know what happened,” Bill whispered as he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck.

“You blew up at me and it wasn’t my fault.” Tom didn’t care if people yelled at him; he just tuned it out and ignored it. When Bill yelled at him the world ended and despite his tough exterior, he was always afraid of rejection from his younger brother.

Which was why Bill took great pains to make sure he never rejected Tom unless he had to; his twin came in with the intent to help and Bill threw it back in his face. “I’m so sorry, Tomi,” he whispered again, and leaned back far enough to kiss him on the lips. Bill continued to kiss until he felt Tom respond and wrap his arms around his waist. When they pulled apart he could feel his twin’s erection pressed against him. “I’m going to have to take care of that later,” Bill purred suggestively.

Tom swallowed and blinked rapidly. “Really?”

“Yes. We can’t have sex but I can suck it… Do you want me to suck it, Tomi?” Bill bit his lip and looked though his lashes at his brother. Tom swallowed audibly and groaned.

“Don’t do that to me; if you weren’t pregnant I’d push you against the wall and fuck you here, like we did in that store in Warsaw.” He licked his lips subconsciously and Bill shivered.

“I remember; I could barely walk when we left but it hurt so good.”

“You had a dorky smile on your face the rest of the day,” Tom chuckled proudly as Bill blushed.

“Yeah, whatever. So do you forgive me?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tom leaned forward and kissed him again. “Now I have to go outside and think of grandma in a bikini.”

“Yuck,” both teens said in unison before they laughed.

“Now get out so I can finish trying on stuff and hating my body,” Bill said lightly, and Tom grabbed his wrist and kissed it.

“Don’t you dare hate it; I love every inch of you, especially now,” he said seriously. “Okay?”

“Fine.”

“Okay?”

“Fine. Okay.” Bill smiled tightly and pushed him out of the booth.

~*~

“That’s adorable.”

“And it goes with this!”

“… I didn’t see that in the store!”

“Because I asked the salesperson if they had any in the back. She’ll look adorable in it.”

“I love shopping for-” The front door opened and Simone looked up. From the sheer amount of noise it had to be her sons, and sure enough, they walked into the living room. Tom and Andreas carried numerous white bags and Bill followed right after with a pretzel in one hand and a foot long hotdog in the other. “Boys,” she said uneasily as Mara stood up beside her.

Bill paused in mid bite and looked down at the tissue paper and bags strewn around the room. “What’s going on?” he asked around his bite of pretzel.

“We went shopping,” Mara supplied nervously as she watched her son frown and come closer. Once their vision cleared the couch it was pink as far as the eye could see. Baby clothes, bibs, bottles, blankets, diapers, and toys were arranged in piles and groups.

Tom quickly looked at Bill, but his face was impassive as he stepped forward and looked down at a mound of bibs. He looked at their mother, and Simone had the good grace to blush. “Mom, what is this?”

“Don’t get upset, Mara and I just did a little shopping. Just a little. We couldn’t help it.” She shrugged and looked at Andreas’s mother for confirmation.

“Yeah, and everything was on sale; we practically had to get it now,” Mara finished lamely as she twisted a cloth diaper in her hand.

Bill swallowed his mouthful of food and frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to go shopping for baby clothes?” he asked quietly.

“We didn’t-” Simone paused in mid lie and started again at the look on her son’s face. “We got a little caught up,” she said slowly.

“It’s all pink,” he said as Tom and Andreas put the bags down and went to examine the purchases.

“Isn’t it adorable?” Mara asked fondly. Andreas rolled his eyes. Bill hated pink.

“I hate pink,” Bill said as he balanced the pretzel on top of the hotdog and touched the frilly pink onesie that lay folded on the arm of the couch. It was softer than it looked, and he traced the rose colored embroidery around the neck.

“It’s a girl, Bill, and the other colors weren’t so pretty.” Mara shook her head in distaste.

“There is more than one store in the world, and it’s all pink. God, I’m going to throw up.” Bill knocked over a small pile of crawling garments and frowned. “You went and did it all without me.”

“Don’t, Bill, we were just trying to be helpful,” Simone said as she stepped over discarded boxes and bags from The Baby Store and made her way to her youngest son. “Please, just accept our help.”

“Help is one thing; you just went and got everything yourselves. And it’s pink!” Bill closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Did either of you think that I wanted to do some of the shopping myself? Did you think I had an idea of how I wanted my baby dressed? It sure as hell isn’t this!” he snapped as he knocked over another carefully folded pile of clothing. He didn’t care that Simone looked hurt; he was pissed, and sick and tired of being told what to do.

Before he could stop them tears welled up and Bill shoved his food at Tom and ran for the stairs. He paused at the bottom and bit his lip; and as everyone watched, he turned around and ran to the bathroom.

Author's Chapter Notes:

No. Yet again dedicated to Darcy, the best last minute beta this side of Mercury, every other Tuesday.

Bill looked up and frowned. “Took you long enough,” he mumbled as Tom closed the door.

“I wanted to give you a chance to cool down,” he said with a shrug.  “What are you doing?”

“Hugging a bear,” Bill mumbled again.

“Why?”

“Because you weren’t here, and I wanted to hug you.” The raven haired teen turned to his twin and sighed. Tom climbed onto the bed next to Bill and gathered him in his arms. “Tomi, I’m so mad at her,” Bill whispered as he buried his nose in Tom’s shirt. The scent of his twin calmed him down more than anything else in the world.

“I know; I told her to take it back.” Tom kissed the crown of Bill’s head and closed his eyes. “She shouldn’t have excluded you.”

“I don’t think she did it on purpose, that’s why I’m so angry. I can’t really be mad at her; you know how Mom gets when she’s excited about something.”

“Not the point.”

“Tomi?”

“Yeah?”

Bill moved so he could look his brother in the eye. “What type of parents are we going to be?” he asked softly.

“Good parents.” It was an easy question to Tom, but the way Bill looked at him made him think perhaps he didn’t think hard enough about the answer. “What are you thinking about?”

“A lot of things; I just realized we haven’t talked about anything that has to do with raising a child. Are we for or against spanking?” Bill questioned.

“For. Definitely for.” Tom nodded firmly.

“Maybe I’m against it.”

“But you’re not. You always agree with me when we see misbehaved children and the parents just stand there embarrassed. Fuck that, that’s not us,” Tom said pointedly.

“We’ll talk about that later. There’s just so much we haven’t decided or even thought about, let alone talked about. I just can’t help but think that it would help if Mom wasn’t so…”

“Crazed?” Tom supplied.

“Fine, crazed. But we could ask her some questions and see what she thought. I mean, she did raise us and I didn’t think she did such a bad job.” Bill shifted in his twin’s arms and rested his head in Tom’s lap. “I’m going to miss you in Paris,” he said abruptly.

“I’m going to miss you, too. I wish I didn’t have to go,” Tom murmured as he ran his fingers through Bill’s hair. He knew his younger brother loved to be petted and tried to do it as much as possible; Tom was worried Bill’s nerves would end up complicating the pregnancy. It irritated him to no end that his beautiful brother was such a worrier.

“But you do and that’s that.” Bill sighed and looked up at Tom.

“I paid for another week at the bed and breakfast; I don’t want you to stay here while I’m gone,” he said seriously.

Bill snorted. “Mom is already pitching a fit because we haven’t bought me a new bed yet.”

“Let her fuss, but you won’t be around to hear it. I’m serious Bill, I want you at the hotel.” Tom stroked Bill’s cheek and smiled. “I know it will be a bit lonely but it’s for the best.”

“Okay Tomi, I’ll go to the hotel. Besides, they have a great room service menu.” Bill yawned. “Tomi?”

“Yeah Bill?” Tom enjoyed all the quiet time they could get; at home it was exceedingly rare as of late.

“What did you do with my hotdog and pretzel?”

~*~

“You should see the view, it’s amazing,” Tom said as he held his curtain open. The busy Parisian street below was so different from the view outside his room.  “I wish you were here.”

“Me too,” Bill sighed, and then burst out laughing.

“What’s going on?” Tom asked as he turned away from the window. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry,” Bill apologized quickly. “Andreas came over and he brought pudding and pickles, Tomi. I was craving a pickle like crazy before he showed up.”

“That’s nice,” Tom said as he tried to keep his voice light. “Why were you laughing?”

“He brought over Me, Myself and Irene, too.”

“But you don’t like that movie.” Tom frowned.

“I didn’t,” Bill snorted and laughed again, “but Andi is making stupid comments and he’s cracking me up.”

“Oh.” Tom looked at the suitcase on his bed and turned away. He didn’t really feel like unpacking anything right now. “So… I wish I could be there for the appointment tomorrow.” He rubbed his forehead and decided to take off his cap.

“Yeah.” Bill’s voice changed; Tom felt a little guilty for the shift in emotion. Maybe there was something wrong with him; Tom didn’t particularly like the idea of Bill happy without him. Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

He didn’t want Bill happy without him but with Andreas.

“I wish you were here,” Tom said again because he felt like an ass and needed to make up for it. Bill made a noncommittal sound and he heard a scrape in his ear. “What was that?”

“Oh, Andreas just asked why do I look upset, that’s all.”

That’s all? Tom swallowed and realized he felt awkward in an empty room. “I don’t want to keep you from your movie; I just called to tell you we landed okay and the G’s said hi.”

“Tell them I said hi too.” Bill sounded like he’d been whipped and Tom really wanted to kick himself because he was the only one to blame right now.

“I will; I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Tom hung up the phone and threw it on the bed angrily. This was not how he was supposed to feel; out of control and helpless. What if something happened to Bill while he was gone like before? He’d come home from an interview and found out his twin was in the hospital. What if something worse happened this time?

It wouldn’t really matter to anyone, because as far as their parents were concerned, the person who needed to be there would be. Andreas would come in and save the day with his grin and be there for Bill and his baby. Fuck that, it was Tom’s baby! Tom shook his head to clear the sensation of vertigo and took a deep breath. He hadn’t felt like this in a couple of months; the involuntary tightening of his muscles let him know to sit down and try and breathe it out. Tom felt something wet on his face and he already knew to grab a Kleenex.

~*~

Andreas let himself into the room and squinted. The lights were still off and the mound on the bed suggested that perhaps his best friend needed some help to get ready this morning. “Bill, come on, man. Wake up,” he said as he leaned over the rumpled covers and tried to shake Bill gently. His hands fell through to the soft pillows shoved beneath the sheet and he frowned.

“I’m here, almost done,” Bill said before he pushed his toothbrush back into his mouth. Andreas smiled and turned on the light as Bill went back into the bathroom. A scant few minutes later they were on the road and it was absolutely silent in the cabin of the car.

“I think I’m up for some morning music, how about you?” Andreas turned on the radio and began to search for a good rock station. He stopped as Bill’s hand landed on his.

“Please, I was kind of enjoying the quiet.” Bill smiled wanly at him from the passenger’s seat.

“Didn’t sleep well last night?” Bill shook his head. “You know, you’ve been down ever since he called you,” Andreas mentioned gently.

“I miss him,” Bill said despondently.

“Well, I know that, but you can laugh and smile when you miss someone. I mean, if you didn’t already know that,” Andreas teased. “It’s a long ride to Berlin and the silent treatment might be a bit much.”

Bill smiled and put his hand on Andreas’s as he shifted gears. The blond looked down at the hand and up at his best friend, but the fluttery sensation he felt dissipated; Bill was asleep again. He didn’t have the heart nor the desire to move his hand.

~*~

“Ice.”

“No thanks, I’ve got plenty.”

“No, ass, that’s the name of this new club. It’s supposed to be really cool.” Georg smiled.

“No pun intended,” Georg added as Tom snorted.

“I’m sure.”

“So you’re going with us tonight?” Gustav asked.

“Probably not.”

“Why not? You’ve been in a rut ever since Bill got pregnant.” Everyone was finally at a point where they could talk about Bill and his pregnancy without getting weird, even David.

“Maybe I don’t want to,” Tom said tiredly.

“But you haven’t picked up a chick in months. I think that’s a record for you,” Georg chimed in with a smile. “Maybe you need to get your groove back like that movie Gustav rented,” he chortled.

“Look, I told you the rental place had the wrong DVD inside. I was trying to rent Fight Club.”

“How Gustav Got His Groove Back,” Tom gasped out between his laughter. He’d almost forgotten about that little incident. At the beginning of the tour they told the blond to pick a movie and when everyone had settled in for a bit of violence Angela Basset came on the screen. Even the crew found out about it and no one let Gustav pick any movies for a while after that.

“Shut the hell up, fuckers,” Gustav said good-naturedly as he rolled his eyes. “Where is David? Why is this taking so long?”

“Stupid photo shoot; I think the photographer still has to set up,” Georg grumbled as he picked with the upholstery on the couch.

“I thought this was just supposed to be an interview,” Tom asked as he rolled his head back and stared at the ceiling.

“Yeah, it was, but David was approached and he accepted. You know he’s a media whore.” Gustav started to drum on his knees. “So gentlemen, the club tonight?”

“Count me in. Parisian chicks rule.”

“Count me out. I’m going to crash in my room and sleep the rest of this stupid and pointless trip away. We’ve got nothing to do tomorrow right?”

Both Gustav and Georg shook their heads. “Which is why you should come out with us. Shit, it used to be we couldn’t keep up with you.” Georg threw a wadded piece of paper at Tom’s face. “What’s going on with you, Kaulitz?  It’s Bill who’s pregnant, not you.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just not in the mood. Can we drop it?” Tom practically growled and Gustav sent a warning glance to the bassist. It was time to leave him alone.

The door opened and Tobi stuck his head in. “Guys, they’re ready for you.” He smiled and motioned them forward. Tom sighed and wondered what Bill was doing.

~*~

Bill had to admit, it didn’t look like the hellhole Doctor Eisner’s office was. There were comforting colors on the wall and everything looked tasteful and quiet. Even the nurse behind the glass looked up and smiled welcomingly at him. Shit, he couldn’t find a thing to say about the place. “It looks nice in here,” Andreas said, and stood next to Bill, looking around as well.

“Yeah.” Bill frowned and went to the desk. “I have an appointment at one?”

The nurse pulled up the appointment on her computer and nodded. “Bill Kaulitz?”

“That’s me,” Bill said quietly.

“Okay, we have some paperwork for you to fill out and I’ll need your insurance card. The forms are pretty much self explanatory but if you have any questions at all please let me know, my name is Jessica.” She smiled and handed him a clipboard with a pen attached.

“Thank you, Jessica,” Bill said genuinely. The pretty woman didn’t make him feel like a freak, and there were only two other people in the waiting room besides him and Andreas.  He sat down next to his friend and sighed.

“Are you alright?” Andreas asked as he rubbed Bill’s back comfortingly.

“Yeah, I just wish Tom were here.” Bill took a deep breath and finished his paperwork quickly. It was easier to understand than Doctor Eisner’s forms, and he realized the nerves were almost gone. Even though Tom wasn’t there with him, Andreas was doing his best to be a good stand in. He finished everything and handed it back to Jessica and answered a few questions, and when everything was all said and done Bill realized he still had almost forty minutes before he would be called.

Time wound down and Andreas could see the melancholy creep across Bill’s face again; it shone through his body language and he couldn’t bear to see him so sad. He wished Tom was there, even if it meant Andreas would be at home, alone. As a last ditch effort he stood up and held his hand out to Bill. “Come on,” he said as his friend reluctantly put his hand in his.

“What? Why?” Bill squeaked as he was pulled up to his feet. Andreas brought him close and wrapped one arm around his waist and started to waltz. “Are you insane?” he giggled as they twirled around the empty room.

“Nope, I want you to stop moping.” Andreas crossed his eyes briefly and spun them around a chair and back down an aisle.

“I’m not moping,” Bill muttered as he rested his chin on the blond’s shoulder.

“You are too. He’ll be back tomorrow, trust me.” Andreas dipped him and Bill grunted but laughed anyway.

“You know, I’m glad you’re here.” Bill smiled once he was upright once more.

“Really?”

“You sound surprised,” Bill said dryly.

Andreas shrugged as they continued to move around the room. “I just thought you were dealing with me because you needed transportation and your Mom made us,” he said nonchalantly.

Bill looked at Andreas and sighed. “Andi, I don’t want you to think I’m using you. That’s not it. Yeah, I needed a ride but I could have called for transportation. I needed some moral support with Tom gone and not only have you ignored my bitchy attitude and near constant requests we stop because I had to pee, but you’ve made me laugh and I really needed that. Like I said, I’m glad you’re here.”

Andreas smiled and looked away. He couldn’t continue to stare at Bill and still trust himself not to do something idiotic. “Uh… do you want me to come back with you? For continued moral support, of course,” he added hastily as he turned back to Bill.

“I don’t know if that would be appropriate,” the vocalist said slowly.

“Right, of course.” Andreas tried not to let his disappointment register in his voice.

“Screw it, I need somebody.” Bill wasn’t deluded enough to think he could get through this appointment alone.  “Might as well be you,” he teased.

“Gee thanks,” Andreas said as he twirled them around.

“Andi?”

“Yeah, Bill?”

“I gotta pee.”

~*~

The room looked like the person who worked there had a sense of humor. There were plenty of pictures strewn about the place of parents with children and everyone had proud smiles on their faces. Bill squinted at a few pictures and realized there were one or two men with swollen stomachs and smiles on their faces. He touched his own abdomen and wondered if he would get that big. He’d probably topple over.

“Mister Kaulitz.” Bill turned around and smiled sheepishly as a man with close cropped red hair walked briskly into the room. “I’m sorry but my last patient ran a bit longer than expected. You have my apologies.” Doctor Anderson smiled and motioned to the empty leather chair next to Andreas. He turned to the blond and his expression became curious. “And who might you be?”

“He’s a friend,” Bill interrupted before Andreas could respond. “How much did Doctor Addams tell you about my situation?” he asked as he lowered himself into the chair.

“Everything,” the man said simply as he swiveled his chair back and forth slightly.

“Everything?”

“That you’re currently carrying the child of your twin brother. Yes, everything.”

Bill winced at the wording. It sounded so… clinical and devoid of love when he put it like that. “Yes, that’s true. I don’t know what to say past that, really,” Bill admitted.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush; the circumstances of the conception surprised me. I’ve only had six male patients and all due to the Willpower patch. I haven’t had to deal with incest on top of that.”

“I’m sure you haven’t, but Doctor Addams said you were the best. She said you’d understand.”

Doctor Anderson made a few notes on the chart in front of him and smiled softly. “Sisters are always your biggest cheering section,” he said fondly.

“Wait, she’s your sister?” Bill squeaked.

“She didn’t tell you? Twin. Two minutes older than me and the reason why I went into medicine to begin with. Technically her referral could be seen as a conflict of interest but we’ll overlook that due to your particular situation, and that’s all I’m going to say about the issue if you choose to allow me to be your doctor.”

“You’re a hell of a lot better than Doctor Eisner,” was all Bill could think to say.

“Eisner is an ass.”

“Funny, Doctor Addams said the same thing.”

“She would; they went to school together. Ass then and an ass now, but at least he’s losing his hair. Karma catches up with everyone.” Doctor Anderson smiled softly. “I have one condition before I can accept you as a patient.”

“Wait, I thought I was already accepted?” Bill frowned and sat forward.

“No, I had you go through the preliminary examination so we could build your file in anticipation that you would be my patient. As I said before, you’re not my first male patient and I’ve noticed a higher rate of depression; honestly, it’s to be expected. I require all of my male pregnancy patients to speak with a therapist.”

Andreas’s jaw dropped and Bill scoffed. “You’ve got to be kidding. A therapist?”

“Yes, and I’ll tell you why. A man’s brain was never meant to wrap itself around bringing a life into the world born of its own body. The sheer amount of hormones that go through a woman’s body would cripple most men, and usually the postpartum depression is even more severe than a woman’s. I have adopted this particular facet into my practice so that I can better help men deal with the life inside of them.”

“I can handle it,” Bill said firmly. Doctor Anderson nodded.

“I’ll let Doctor Mathews decide that. That is my only condition, if it’s too much for you feel free to leave with no hard feelings and I won’t bill your insurance. If not we’ll get started.”

Bill stared at his knees and took a deep breath. A therapist? He didn’t like the idea of going to a shrink, especially with the secrets he kept. “Would he ask about the father?”

“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure. You can choose not to answer those questions or any others that make you feel uncomfortable. This is for your mental health.”

“Okay, I’ll do it.” Bill hoped he wouldn’t live to regret this decision.

“Great. I’m glad to have you,” Doctor Addams said as he rose and held out his hand. Bill stood and shook quickly. “And please, all my patients call me Robert.”

“Robert, I won’t lie. I’m scared; especially after the surgery. Are there going to be any complications because of it?” Bill asked the question that had weighed in the back of his mind ever since he came back from the hospital.

“I’m sure Roberta told you that any abdominal surgery while pregnant carries a risk of miscarriage. Unfortunately the odds are against us but we’re going to do the best we can to make sure both you and your little girl remain healthy. Fortunately you have your age in your favor. Everything’s healing beautifully and I’m looking at your weight and measurements right now.” Robert stood up and walked around his desk. “You’re a little underweight but that’s to be expected. You’ll see some accelerated growth in the coming weeks. The baby and your body will try to make up for lost time; I don’t want to think about what would have happened if that growth hadn’t revealed itself.”

“Me neither,” Andreas murmured and shot a look at Bill.

“I have a specially designed prenatal vitamin that I want you to start taking every day.” The doctor looked down at Bill sternly. “Every day, hear me?”

“Yes, I hear you.” Bill felt like a two year old and didn’t like it.

“Good. These vitamins are especially made for men and our unique biological needs, while keeping in mind what’s necessary for the baby. You’re in the middle of your fourth month and everything is looking remarkably well. The baby is in a good position and should ease off of your bladder soon.”

“That would be wonderful,” Bill said as he rubbed his stomach absently. He felt the baby kick against his hand and smiled. “She’s moving around a lot lately.”

“She’s finally getting her nutrients and about now babies are kicking out and getting used to their environment as they build muscle control. Developmentally she’s on track, we’re just going to have to keep an eye on her weight, and yours.”

“I have a naturally high metabolism, it seems like no matter what I eat I just never seem to gain anything.” Bill didn’t want to say that deep down he was happy about that; when he thought about it he felt guilty.

“I have something that will help. It’s a vanilla flavored weight gain shake. It will help you pack on the pounds in a healthy manner.” Bill winced at the phrase and tried not to think about it anymore. “Jessica took a urine sample and we tested for gestational diabetes and luckily we found none; it occurs higher than normal in men than women, we’re finding. That’s one less thing we have to worry about.”

“That’s good.” Bill nodded as he felt somewhat proud. It didn’t matter that he would have no control over the results.

“Yes, most assuredly. I hope you don’t have anywhere to go for the next few hours, because we’re about to get into the rest of your examinations. Roberta sent me your test results but I still have to give you an ultrasound so we can track the fetus development and introduce you to Doctor Mathews. He’s my in house psychiatrist. He sees patients who are dealing with fertility issues and other pregnancy complications. Let’s get started.” Doctor Anderson smiled down at Bill and he felt the nerves come back.

He looked over at Andreas and smiled stiffly. He knew his friend was there for him but right now the only person he wanted in that seat was Tom. “Yeah,” Bill said as he nodded. “Let’s get started.”

~*~

Tom frowned and dialed the number again; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten voicemail when he called his brother. He was about to hang up when Bill’s sleepy voice filled his ear. “Hello?”

“Hi,” he said softly as the muscles in his neck loosened at the sound of his twin’s voice. “I’m sorry to call you so late, but I couldn’t sleep because I miss you so much.” Over the phone it wasn’t so hard for Tom to get sentimental, especially since he’d gotten used to sleeping with Bill again.

“Hi Tomi.” Bill yawned around the words and mumbled something intelligible.

“How was the appointment?”

“Fine…”

Tom waited for a few seconds for Bill to continue but the light snore indicated the singer had fallen asleep again. “No Bill, please don’t go to sleep just yet, I need to hear your voice,” he pleaded anxiously. Tom had felt on edge all day and the photo shoot took longer because the photographer said his face looked too stressed. Talk about your obvious statements. How could he stare at a camera blankly when he had so much on his mind?

“Tomi, I’m sorry.” Bill yawned again and sounded more awake by just a micron. “What did you do today?”

“I had a stupid photo shoot and a couple of interviews.” Tom lay back on the bed and looked over at the empty side. The conversation would be so much easier if Bill were actually next to him. His twin loved to talk right before he went to sleep; it was a habit he had for years and now Tom had to hear Bill’s voice before he went to bed or he wouldn’t sleep well.

“Mmmmmm…” The sound was stretched until it faded and Tom knew that Bill had fallen asleep yet again.

“Bill! Come on, baby, please. Just a little while longer,” Tom asked again. He felt guilty that he kept Bill on the phone even though he was obviously tired but he couldn’t get to sleep and he couldn’t shake the overwhelming need to talk to his brother right then. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to come with you to the doctor’s appointment.

At that Bill seemed to wake up a bit more. “S’okay Tomi. Andreas was there and he was great.”

“Really?” Tom swallowed and suddenly was even more awake than before he placed the call.

“Mmm… He was great. Tomi, I don’t want to talk right now, I’m going to sleep.” Before Tom could respond the call ended and Bill was gone.

In the middle of the night irrational thoughts enter your head and Tom knew this. He hated the scenarios that flitted through his mind and with a heavy heart he turned off the lamp and tried to get some sleep.

~*~

Tom laughed and kissed Bill again. “Say it again,” he said happily as they lay under a starry sky.

“You’re the best Tomi, the one and only.” Bill looked at him with such adoration in his eyes Tom felt his heart would burst.

“You’re so beautiful.” Tom felt awkward and ungainly next to Bill, his twin was all smiles and breezy touches as they rocked in the hammock. The dreadlocked twin didn’t even like hammocks but if Bill wanted to rock in one he would do it until the end of time.

Suddenly it began to rain and Bill squeaked and tried to escape the water as it fell in large droplets. Tom scrambled to get out  of the hammock but his feet were tangled in the netting. Bill started to cry and Tom still couldn’t move. Suddenly they could see someone run up the beach through the maelstrom and Tom realized it was Andreas.

“Andreas, help me get out of this thing. I need to get Bill inside,” he said desperately as he fought with the ropes now twisted around his legs almost to the knee. Bill was beside him and clutched his distended abdomen protectively.

Their blond friend reached out and gingerly removed Bill from the danger of Tom’s flailing arms and hugged him close. “Andreas,” Bill cooed happily in his grasp as he rested his head on Andreas’s shoulder.

“Andi, man, what the fuck is going on?” Tom grunted as he realized the ropes were now around his waist. He twisted and pulled but it seemed he couldn’t get anywhere. The rain stopped abruptly and as Tom shook his head to clear the water, Bill and Andreas started to move away. “Bill? Where are you going? Andreas, where are you taking him?”

He looked over and saw his mother, father and stepfather as they waited on the beach. Everyone was dressed in white and had serene smiles on their faces. As Andreas and Bill moved closer they began to clap and welcome them with open arms. No one heard his cries or came to his rescue as the ropes began to tighten around his neck. He fought as he felt the last breath leave his body and-

Tom jerked awake and realized he’d been yelling the entire time. The phone on the nightstand rang as he slapped his arms and legs; the sensation of rope followed him from his dream as he tried to calm down but he couldn’t draw in any air. In his mind’s eye he could see the absolutely loving expression Bill gave Andreas as he lifted Bill out of the hammock and onto the beach. It hurt then and it hurt even worse now. Tears came out of nowhere and Tom felt his body tighten painfully; he flipped over so he could breathe easier but it didn’t help by much. The only consolation was that it was pretty light compared to some of the panic attacks he’d had before.

Tom stared at his pillow as the tears streamed down his face and he told himself it was just a dream. It was just a dream.