EXPRESSING APOLOGIES, REGRETS, SYMPATHY, AND BAD NEWS

59

Expressing apologies, regrets, sympathy, and bad news

59.1Apologies and regrets

Cultures differ in the kinds of things that people are expected to apologize for. This chapter presents the types of situations for which an apology is expected and provides expressions of apology that can be used in these situations.

Note that in Chinese culture, you are not expected to apologize for or otherwise acknowledge bodily functions such as coughs, sneezes, belches, flatulence, etc. In response to someone’s sneeze, you can say:

/=

Bki suì.

(May you live to be) 100 years old.

If someone sneezes a second time, you can say:

/=

Qipn suì.

(May you live to be) 1000 years old.

59.1.1 Apologizing for showing disrespect: / duìbuqM

/ duìbuqm is the appropriate apology for actions that show disrespect towards another, including:

•Physical actions: bumping into someone, stepping on someone’s foot, spilling something on someone, etc.

•Inappropriate behavior: interrupting someone, ending a conversation, etc.

•Imperfect performance: work done poorly, language spoken poorly, comprehension difficulty, etc.

!"#$%& '!!"#$%& '!

Duìbuqm. Wn Zhsngwen shus de bù hko.

Excuse me. I speak Chinese poorly.

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Apologies and regrets

59.1

!" #!!" #!

Duìbuqm. Wn bù dnng.

I’m sorry. I don’t understand.

!"#$%&!!"#$%&!

Duìbuqm. Wn dpnwu le nm.

Excuse me. I’ve caused you to be delayed.

Reply to /	duìbuqm by saying:
		!		!
		!		!
Méi shì.	Méi gupnxi.		Bù yàojmn.
It’s nothing.	It’s not important.		It’s not important.

59.1.2Apologizing for refusals: ! bù hKo yìsi

! bù hko yìsi acknowledges embarrassment on the part of the speaker. It is commonly used when the speaker refuses an invitation or turns down a request for assistance.

!"#$%&'()*+

Wáng: Jrntipn xiàwo gqn wn qù hq kpfqi ba.

Wang: Have coffee with me this afternoon.

!"#$%&'()*+$

Lín: Bù hko yìsi. Wn jrntipn xiàwo ynu shì.

Lin: How embarrassing. This afternoon I’ve got something to do.

There is no formulaic response to ! bù hko yìsi.

Í58.3

59.1.3Apologizing for mistakes or wrongs: bàoqiàn and dàoqiàn

bàoqiàn and dàoqiàn acknowledge a wrong to another and acknowledge personal responsibility for the wrong. Formal and written contexts often call for bàoqiàn or dàoqiàn. Many speakers of Mandarin use these two words interchangeably. Here are expressions in which these words are used.

	!"#$
	!"#$
Bàoqiàn.	Bàoqiàn. Wn lái wkn le.
I apologize.	I’m sorry. I’ve arrived late.
!	!"#
Zhqn bàoqiàn.	Wn xiàng nm dàoqiàn.
I really apologize.	I apologize to you.

NOTE The use of the more formal preposition xiàng ‘towards’ in the prepositional phrase xiàng nm ‘towards you’ makes this structure more formal.

Í14

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	EXPRESSING APOLOGIES, REGRETS, SYMPATHY, AND BAD NEWS			59.2
	The appropriate response to bàoqiàn or dàoqiàn is the same as the re-
	sponse to /	duìbuqm:
		!	!
		!	!
	Méi shì.	Méi gupnxi.	Bù yàojmn.
	It’s nothing.	It’s not important.	It’s not important.
			qMng yuánliàng
59.1.4	Asking for forgiveness: /
	‘please forgive me’

!/ ! qmng yuánliàng wn is used in an apology acknowledging personal responsibility for an action that negatively affects others.

The response to this kind of apology is the same as for / duìbuqm, bàoqiàn, and dàoqiàn.

59.2Expressing sympathy

To acknowledge a bad situation that another is experiencing, say:

!

Zhqn klxr.

What a pity. What a shame.

To express sympathy when another is ill, say:

!"#!"#

Dus bkozhòng shqntm.

Take care of your health.

!"#$%!"#$%

Xrwàng nm zko rì kpngfù.

I hope your health is soon restored.

59.3Conveying bad news

To introduce bad news or a negative situation use pà ‘to fear’ and knngpà ‘to be afraid that.’ Notice that pà requires a subject and knngpà does not take a subject.

(subject) pà situation

!"#$%&'(!"#$%&'(

Zhè jiàn shì, wn pà tp zuòbuhko.

I am afraid that he won’t be able to do this job well.

!"#$%&'!"#$%&'

Wn pà nm zhècì kko de bù hko.

I am afraid that this time you didn’t do well on the exam.

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Conveying bad news

59.3

!"#$%&!"#$%&

Wn pà wn bpngbuliko nm de máng.

I am afraid that I can’t help you.

kNngpà situation

!"#$%!"#$%

Knngpà míngtipn huì xià yo.

I’m afraid it will rain tomorrow.

!"#$%&'(!"#$%&'(

Knngpà tpmen jrntipn bù huì lái le.

I am afraid that they may not come today.

!"#$%&'!"#$%&'

Knngpà nm zhè cì kko de bù hko.

I’m afraid that this time you did not do well on the exam.

!"#$%&'!"#$%&'

Knngpà wn bpngbuliko nm de máng.

I am afraid that I cannot help you.

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