Call the Fashion Police, That’s my t-shirt

Britain’s company of inept thieves gained a new member yesterday after a man (1) ______________ (to arrest) because of his bizarre and incriminating fashion sense. Burgled shopkeeper Neil Primett was dumbfounded to spot a passer-by dressed from collar to ankle in striking but uncoordinated designs – exactly like those which (2) _____________ (to steal) from his store in Bedford.

“I couldn’t believe it – he (3) ____________________ (to wear) such a mismatch,” he said, after ringing the police and tailing the suspect whose outfit (4) ________________ (to top) off with a T-shirt vividly stamped with the word “Criminal”. “That’s a sleeveless summer item which we even (5) ________________ (not to put) on sale yet,” said Mr Primett. “The T-shirt really stood out,” he said, after the man (6) ______________ (to take) away in a patrol car equally clearly labelled “Police”. “He probably thought he (7) _______________ (to be) fashionable but the clothes (8) _______ (not to go) together at all.” Mr Primett said: “I always (9) _____________ (to recognize) clothes from my store because there are not many places that sell them.”

It wasn’t the first time such a bizarre criminal (10) ____________ (to arrest). It followed the recent downfall of London robber Robert Downey who held up a bookie with a banana which he (11) ____________ (to wrap) in a transparent plastic bag. He also failed to make his getaway quickly enough because he (12) _______________ (to spend) too much time trying to wrestle off his balaclava which (13) ___________ (to be) several sizes too small. When he finally managed to tear it off the police already (14) _______________ (to be) there.

Soon afterwards another suspected burglar (15) ______________ (to catch) after making so much noise on Jean Collop’s cottage roof in Cornwall that she woke up. As soon as the burglar (16) ______________ (to get) down he (17) ________________ (to fell) by Ms Collop’s Alsatians who seemed as determined as their mistress.

(From ‘The Guardian’)

C.

A firefighter left brain-damaged and mostly mute by an accident nearly 10 years ago stunned the doctors at the weekend when he (1) __________ (to look up) suddenly and (2) ________________ (to ask) for his wife.

Donald Herbert, 43, went into a ten-week coma in 1995 after a burning roof (3) ______________ (to bury) him under debris and (4) ___________ (to leave) him without air for several minutes. Since then he (5) _________ (to be) nearly blind and (6) _______________ (to display) little, if any memory, ability to communicate or awareness of his surroundings. Then out of the blue, on Saturday, he woke up in the nursing home where he (7) ____________ (to be) for the last seven years and said: “I want to talk to my wife.” As soon as he (8) _______________ (to say) that the nurse at the care home raced out to call his wife, Linda. But it was his youngest son, Nicholas, 13, who picked up the phone. “That can’t be,” Mr Herbert said, thinking the boy just (9) _____________ (to be) funny. “He is a baby. He can’t talk.” It was the first of several conversations he (10) ____________ (to have) with family and friends since he (11) ___________ (to be) in the nursing home.

Mr Herbert, the father of four sons, who were 14, 13, 11 and 3 at the time of the accident, was able to recognize voices. He stayed up till night talking to his boys and catching up on what they (12) ______________ (to be) up to over the last several years. Mr Herbert then (13) ______________ (to go) back to sleep for 30 hours uninterrupted.

“The extent and duration of his recovery yet (14) ____________ (not to know),” said Simon Manka, Mr Herbert’s relative. Dr Rose Sherr, of New York University medical centre, said when patients recover from brain injuries, they usually do so within two or three years. “It’s almost unheard of after they (15) ____________ (to spend) 10 years in that condition,” she said.

(From ‘The Guardian’, abridged)