Grammar in Speech

27. Supply the correct form of the verbs given in brackets and perform the role play given below. Can I tackle my friend about his weight?

Dear editor,

I am becoming increasingly worried about the effect my friend’s weight (1) _______________ (to have) on his health. John is in his mid-20s and awfully obese. In the five years I (2) _________________ (to know) him, he always (3) ___________________ (to be) very large, but despite some success with diet and exercise, he (4) __________________ (to gain) even more weight in the past couple of years. I assumed he was naturally a big guy. However, I know realize that his eating is clearly out of control – his appetite seems to have no limit. Lately, he (5) _________________ (to snack) constantly on vast quantities of extremely unhealthy food and he (6) _______________ (to eat) secretly late at night.

In the past two years his overall health (7) ____________________ (to decline) gradually – he becomes breathless after walking just short distances and recently he (8) __________________ (to start) to complain of stomach pains and deteriorating eyesight. I don’t think anyone, except his close family, ever (9) ___________________ (to discuss) this with him. Others in our circle (10) _______________________ (to express) their concern in private, but none of us knows how to speak to him directly. How we (11) _______________ (to talk) to an old friend about his weight without making him feel worse about himself?

Yours faithfully,

Tina Jones

Dear Tina,

You are wondering whether it is right to ask your friend to make changes in his behaviour – that depends directly on why you (12) _______________ (to make) such a request, and the critical difference is whether you (13) _____________ (to pass judgment or to assume) responsibility. If you (14) _______________ (to pass) judgment you (15) ______________ (to be) selfish. If you judge your friend, particularly if you (16) __________________ (not to ask) to do so, you are unlikely to be acting in his best interests.

True friendship calls for acceptance, equality and understanding. Rule out simply mentioning weight – it sounds as if his family already (17) _______________ (to try) this and it (18) ___________________ (not to work). Anyone (19) __________________ (to try) talking to him about his health? You make me wonder if he already (20) _______________ (to have) a major problem. If his eyesight (21) ___________________ (to deteriorate) recently it might indicate that he (22) _________________ (to develop) diabetic retinopathy. Many people do not realize they are diabetic and some (23) __________________ (to diagnose) only after they (24) _____________ (to take) a regular eye test.

Surely, your friend already (25) ____________________ (to know) that something is wrong, and he cannot be unaware of the dangers he faces, it is more likely that he is afraid to face up to the situation. Therefore, it is well worth offering to help. Clearly, you (26) _______________ (to try) to do that for quite a time but it fell on deaf ears. He might be more likely to respond if you write down your concerns and talk to him after he (27) ______________ (to be able) to digest them.

Name and address withheld.

(From ‘The Guardian’)

Role play

You are John’s relatives and friends. Now you are having a party and discussing his problem.

Role 1. You are Tina. Relate your worries to your friends.

Your cues: John – to pick up even more weight – to eat practically non-stop for the past two weeks; you – to quarrel about it all the time; his eyesight – to deteriorate all this time and now he – to agree to take an eye test.

Role 2. You are Glen, John’s elder brother.

Your cues: John – always to be obese; he – to suffer because of it since childhood; everybody constantly – to tease him about it and to put him down; you – against interfering; he – old enough to make his own decisions.

Role 3. You are John’s friend Gordon, a psychologist. Your views coincide with the ideas expressed in the answer to Tina’s letter given above.